![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#326
|
|||
|
|||
it feels really late, but it's not very late. just want to go to bed.
i did have a shower. it is the same as the rain that's been coming down for the whole day. it's making me very unhappy and tired. I hate showering. It makes me feel very tired and insubstantial. just want to go to sleep. i have therapy tomorrow. not sure there's any point in going. but i am so alone that the appt counts as socializing, which is just pathetic. |
![]() Purple,Violet,Blue
|
#327
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
It's not pathetic. You're amongst friends here. |
![]() Anonymous44144
|
#328
|
|||
|
|||
Not much of a day today. Just went to church and then went on a 2 hour and 20 minute bike ride. I could have gone for more. Well at least there was an area I wanted to go to but I had been avoiding it because there's heavy road construction. That area has the road all torn up and just has a makeshift narrow lane for traffic. It's very scary on a bike. But now they have a bike lane put into that construction area, so that makes it nicer.
Nothing much socially going on. At least today was a nice day to be outdoors. Finally it's fall like in weather here. Last week I suffered through 90 - 100 degree unbearable heat. And now there's no real high temperatures in sight with the forecast! |
![]() Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue
|
#329
|
||||
|
||||
Slept most of the day. Not depressed, just tired. Lazy tired, not real exhaustion.
Okay, I fell off the wagon, in terms of keeping busy and not wasting time. So, instead of getting demoralized and falling into uselessness, I should make the best of the evening. Then make firm plans for tomorrow. |
![]() Anonymous44144, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue
|
#330
|
||||
|
||||
I still havent showered over four weeks. And iust I was considering it, the Sunday blues set in and I have been hiding in bed, since.
The fall is also creeping in with heavy fog and dark clouds. The days are getting shorter iust like my patience and desire to fight. Hopefully, my solitude will find the way.
__________________
[B]'Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.' |
![]() Anonymous50909
|
![]() Patagonia
|
#331
|
||||
|
||||
New to this thread. I’m miserable now, I’ve been itching all day. Can’t take any antihistamines since I’m seeing an allergist & getting tested Friday to find a cause for my chronic respiratory issues.
Second straight night I can’t fall asleep. I feel like I’m being yanked up and down physically & emotionally. Just trying to survive (not literally) to Friday. Truth be told, while I want desperately to fix this respiratory issue, I don’t think many people would miss me if I weren’t here anymore ![]()
__________________
"Start perfect, get better every day" Good for absolutely nothing & doing even less Reality is not realistic |
![]() Anonymous50013, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
![]() Patagonia
|
#332
|
||||
|
||||
Sinking into the trough tonight. I'm figuring that's the natural consequence of having wasted the day napping and doing next to nothing. So, if I don't want to feel this way tomorrow night, I better make tomorrow a day I don't waste.
And last night, at this time, I felt so good. But, then, I have to consider how I spent yesterday tending to things that needed doing. When I do nothing, I feel crummy. |
![]() Anonymous50013, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
#333
|
|||
|
|||
Rough weekend filled with a mixture of emotions, both good and bad. Difficult Monday because I'm right back involved in a business that brings me nothing but frustration. Still, throughout it all, I am hopeful that all of us here find a moment's peace during this day.
|
![]() Anonymous50013, nikon, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
#334
|
|||
|
|||
I think i felt very down last night. it is extremely hot today and I hate hot weather. also have quite a lot of body hatred so don't like wearing minimal clothes, and lots of self harm scars, and I don't want to display that to clients I see (work part time for myself). i feel kind of fuzzy in my head right now.
|
![]() Anonymous50013, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
#335
|
||||
|
||||
Had a nice visit with my daughter. Looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.
As I’ve mentioned, I’ve had two equally bad problems related to my depression. One was the actual depression and the other was the “depressive lifestyle” I adopted with it. The depression is under control. The other is not. I’ve decided to address this vigorously over the next month starting with turning off the tv. I was invited to a Halloween party tomorrow night and my first thought was no, I’d rather stay home in my recliner and watch politics. Under my new doctrine I said NO, you’re going to that party....no excuses and even if it kills you. Wish me luck. Sending hugs to all who are struggling. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous50013, katydid777, nikon, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue
|
#336
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Sunflower123
|
![]() Sunflower123
|
#337
|
||||
|
||||
My days, weeks, months have been very ruff. I have had a lot of medical issues. I also have been depressed over a black male lab puppy that was about 5 weeks old, my Husband found almost 4 months ago. He had been dumped, and had been outside for a few days by himself, and was in such bad shape, I didn't think I could pull him through. I did, I helped him completely recover, and gave him all his shots, and everything else he needed. On Oct 9th I took him to our vet to be fixed, and have his dew claws removed. R.J. never woke up. It has been 3 weeks now, and I am still struggling with this. I would take him on walks to the stream to play in the water, and we both would go home soaked. We have 3 Chihuahuas that I love dearly, but they are not the same as R.J. He turned out to be a big part of our family. I miss him so much, and I still could cry over him at any time.
|
![]() nikon, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
#338
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
|
![]() Sunflower123
|
![]() katydid777
|
#339
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
![]() |
![]() katydid777, Purple,Violet,Blue
|
#340
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
|
![]() Sunflower123
|
![]() Sunflower123
|
#341
|
||||
|
||||
Still in the trough.
|
![]() Anonymous50013, nikon, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
![]() Patagonia
|
#342
|
||||
|
||||
I woke up to darkness wanting to hide in my bed yet I had no choice but to come to work. Otherwise I would get fired.
I hate these downs. The ironic part is that more fighting is required when things are this low yet all i want is to sleep to escape.
__________________
[B]'Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.' |
![]() nikon, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Rose76, Sunflower123
|
#343
|
||||
|
||||
Tomorrow is my last day of work & then I'm unemployed again. That fact really sucks...& I really liked my job a lot! But it's a short season. Sigh....
Guess I'll start looking again. I know this will make me depressed. I'll try not to kick myself when I'm down but I'd like to have a purpose. It's really helpful if I have to spend a lifetime on this marble.
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
![]() Anonymous41120, Anonymous50013, nikon, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
#344
|
||||
|
||||
HI folks,
It's been a while since I last shared. I've been trying to do things by myself. Pretending to be okay, forcing myself at all cost. Answering phone calls and accepting invitations even though I can't get a soul to do anything that I want to do....it's always gotta be on their terms. I want to be independent and do things like I use to but driving and new environment anxiety is kicking me in the head...a senseless fight. I've been thinking that if I want things to be better, I must first believe that they can, yep been blowing smoke up my own keister! It's just to damn painful! It hurts just to damn much! Why not accept me as I am? Better yet, have the guts to tell me to "- - - - Off! What you don't say hurts just as much. I'm tired I must admit. I've been trying to hold down the fort while hubby is recovering but he's not making it easy... I can't please him and I don't have the energy to try. My job is also almost over. My boss can't make up her mind as to whether or not start a new class. I don't care that she's closing her business but it would be nice to know where I stand or should be standing...unemployment line or what? It's only going to get worse. Thought I love the season, the holidays and such depress me like nothing else and as I approach "the day I should have died", I can't help but think....hmmm ![]() I've been praying as asking for a new dream, one that I can realize...I've yet to realize one simple dream. I'm 53 and running out of time. I've spent a lot of time trying to remember what my dreams were and I can't remember...maybe I never had one?
__________________
![]() |
![]() Anonymous41120, Anonymous50013, Fuzzybear, nikon, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
#345
|
||||
|
||||
![]() ![]()
__________________
![]() |
![]() Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
![]() Olanza-what?
|
#346
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
|
![]() Sunflower123
|
![]() Patagonia
|
#347
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
|
![]() Olanza-what?, Sunflower123
|
![]() Olanza-what?
|
#348
|
|||
|
|||
I didn't feel too good emotionally today. I got off to a bad start as, when I got to work, I realized that I forgot my lunch. So I had to go out and get something for lunch. I always bring my own lunch to save on going out for lunch. I have been trying to budget with my money and that was a bit of a blow.
Work was very slow today. It seemed like there were people out. I think that some had decided to take today and tomorrow off figuring that Halloween is a holiday. I worked out after work and it went well. I should be happy now that it's cloudy and cool after last week of having really hot weather. But I feel like the happiness is just missing. |
![]() Anonymous50909, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
#349
|
|||
|
|||
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() i wish they had "unhappy" as a mood. maybe it's not a real mood and more of a state, but I am not "sad" or "depressed" or any other negative emotion. I am simply unhappy. i might not post for a couple days. i find myself really annoying. |
![]() Anonymous50013, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
#350
|
||||
|
||||
This has not been a good day. Nothing bad happened to me. I just didn't bother to make it a good day.
I don't know why I feel so bad. |
![]() Anonymous50013, Olanza-what?, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
|
Closed Thread |
|