[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Rose, it is a big step. But you don't sound happy. There's only one way to find out if you feel better without him. We are here to talk to about it, so don't feel you are alone.

[nikon]

thinking of everyone having a difficult day.

I'm having a really quiet and kind of lonely day. Just started house sitting, no wifi (I'm back in my rented room because I've got work here, then going back to the house later). Woke up this morning with my foot really sore, as though someone had jumped on it - no idea why because I haven't hurt it at all. seeing my therapist tomorrow and there is probably going to be difficult stuff to talk about that was in an email I sent - stuff that I would normally not talk about because I am embarrassed to talk about it.

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I face a huge decision. I'm thinking I might have to leave my S.O. as a way of trying to help myself. This is a drastic step to take. Maybe it won't help me. Maybe I'm deluding myself blaming being with him for why I feel so bad. I have to change my circumstances. This is becoming too awful.

I think you're heading down the correct path to start to rethink your living situation. It really sounds damaging to your true Self.
This can be a powerful first step towards a new beginning. Plan things out & think of yourself. If you don't have any physical attachments to your SO, like children, maybe it's time to walk.
Like the others say....we'll be here for you.

[Patagonia]

There has to be more to this existence! I'm searching in vain & just can't find the correct answers.

I need to stop living for everyone else!

[WishIWereAStone]

The weekend was exhausting but it could have been worse, that's about as positive as I can get these days.

I'm feeling fine today. I just get worried when I'm sleeping, i get in some panic attack mode over someone. Then I think my reply was deleted or someone posted a new thread, I don't know why I get so worked up about that. I feel like I have some ego problem. I realise that it's nothing terribly important and I need to breathe and let it go. I take some things personally. i feel like I should start learning Korean or Japanese, that gives me something to do. plus I want to reduce my coffee intake. It makes me feel jittery sometimes. I like tea. The ones with raspberry or something, I really like them.

[regretful]

Tired...just really tired, physically and emotionally. So I'm relying on some old coping skills that I have used in the past. I know that I just have to give that practice some time. I wish all of you well and a moment or two of peace today.

[Ceara1010]

So, I have't been at the forum for a few weeks. I've still been struggling post-hurricane Harvey and trying to get back to a routine But since I have a dog now, I've needed to set a new routine (which was somewhat stressful) and then some guy here at the community where I'm living began hitting on me and was triggering my PTSD. So I became pretty depressed--too depressed to post here. (If I didn't have the dog, it would have been worse.)

But hopefully my being able to get back onto the forum is a sign that I'm moving on from all this. One step at a time...

I'm hanging in there, hope you all are hanging in there.

[Aemulus2058]

I found out that my grandfather is being placed on hospice this weekend. I've lost my grandmother, cousin, and aunt in the last 4 years so this loss is a major blow to me. I'm worried that I'll slip into another episode because of it. I know I shouldn't anticipate an episode, but my anxiety isn't letting me forget about it. I really don't want another episode; this is already bad enough.

[Rose76]

Still not back to normal. It's discouraging.

[JustTvTroping]

This feeling will never completely go away, will it? ....Uggggggghhh I don't care anymore. I'm done. It seems that the more I care about it, the more it hurts.

Originally Posted by regretful

Tired...just really tired, physically and emotionally. So I'm relying on some old coping skills that I have used in the past. I know that I just have to give that practice some time. I wish all of you well and a moment or two of peace today.

Yes, so do I. Old coping skills work if we are able to make a daily routine and use them inside such a frame. I have written down what to do and not to do when such and so trigger occur. That helps.

Good luck to you!

I am depressed (moderately) and struggle to not fall deeper into depression (usualy have the winter blues at this time of the year). I have the experience that if I make it nice around me, that helps me to feel a bit better. I'm so tired that I have problems doing the dishes. So I have promised myself to get rid of the problem of dishes piling up. I will allow myself to rest after dinner. When I feel relaxed, I will try to put my timer on 20 minutes, so I have 20 minutes to get used to the thought that even if I feel tired I have to go and do the dishes for that day. In addition I try to force myself out for a daily walk. Hope for some relief in near future.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Ceara1010

So, I have't been at the forum for a few weeks. I've still been struggling post-hurricane Harvey and trying to get back to a routine But since I have a dog now, I've needed to set a new routine (which was somewhat stressful) and then some guy here at the community where I'm living began hitting on me and was triggering my PTSD. So I became pretty depressed--too depressed to post here. (If I didn't have the dog, it would have been worse.)

But hopefully my being able to get back onto the forum is a sign that I'm moving on from all this. One step at a time...

I'm hanging in there, hope you all are hanging in there.

Wow, sorry to hear that. It's really good to see you around again.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by nikon

thinking of everyone having a difficult day.

I'm having a really quiet and kind of lonely day. Just started house sitting, no wifi (I'm back in my rented room because I've got work here, then going back to the house later). Woke up this morning with my foot really sore, as though someone had jumped on it - no idea why because I haven't hurt it at all. seeing my therapist tomorrow and there is probably going to be difficult stuff to talk about that was in an email I sent - stuff that I would normally not talk about because I am embarrassed to talk about it.

I remember, Nikon. You'll be OK. It's their job to make it work.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Love to everyone on the thread. I had a pretty good day.

[mulan]

I am having dificulty feeling empathy today. And I guess it is ok, it must be ok, and I have to embrace it.
I can't feel bad about that, I already don't feel very well today. Time to me selfish and unapolagetic.
I shouldn't be sorry if I feel tired, or down, or empty. I slept the entire afternoon and this happens a lot when I sleep in the afternoon,I wake up empty. I have not been taking my meds regularly, I forget, I feel lazy about it, they make me feel anxious...
I hope this helps someone who can't feel others too, it would help me to know someone else who also feels like this. I guess they do, at least some times.

Today was one of those rough days at work...the type of day when you're completely over your shift at 2pm but it doesn't end until 5pm. I had to fight back tears at one point, and forced myself to push through to the end. I called a cab home instead of taking the bus because I felt quite low and just wanted to be home without the extra hour of commute.

Just took some ativan because my anxiety spiked high, waiting for that to kick in. I am glad tomorrow is off, I'll be glad to have the time to rest. Sending hugs to those having a rough time as well.

[Rose76]

I feel improved. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep.

It was an OK day a work. I worked out and it went well. I had to get used to being dark outside while working out. It's the first time in a while that it's been dark outside at my workout. On the days I don't work out, from now on, I will not be able to go bike riding after work because of the early sunsets.

Went to the pool area and there were four other people there. I'd rather have been alone. I felt like they were not the best of company. It seems like when I go down there I'm either alone or with some bad company. Being alone in the pool area is not bad. It's worse having bad company.

I have Friday off from work. I don't know what will I do with myself on the extra day off I'll get.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by will19

I have Friday off from work. I don't know what will I do with myself on the extra day off I'll get.

Do you like to read? Or listen to podcasts? There are some amazing podcasts out there.

[katydid777]

Ended up very early about 4 something because of bad dreams. My husband, and I went for a long ride on the softail, to visit a couple of old friends. The ride was wonderful, but we found out that a close friend that we have known for more than 25 years, passed away last month. This was a major shock to us. We thought he would to a ripe old age. He had a massive heart attack at the age of 62. He was always in a good mood, and was a Jimmy Buffett type, the type person that you would see living on the beach, in his shorts, and sandals, not up here working himself to death. Love, Thoughts, And Prayers to all who knew him. Today my day is sad.

im not doing well because of the depression

[Deilla]

I'm doing alright today. I have forms to fill out. I'm not very motivated. But I'm going to focus and get them out of the way early so I can relax most of the day. I don't feel like doing much. It's rainy and sort of a blah day for me. I'll do the best I can and try to improve my mood.

[WishIWereAStone]

Poor night's sleep last night, but trying to be productive at work. Thankful for this site to be able to come to. Trying to be thankful for other things in my life as well. Power of positive thinking????