One of my unfortunate suspicions about therapy and mental health treatment is the lies - “depression is a sign of strength”, “seeking mental health treatment is a sign of strength”. Not that it’s really a lie, as it can make one feel better. But when I went to therapy and was on medication when I was a teen, I noticed I still lack allot of things - emotional flow, quick and speedy thoughts during conversations. It’s as if there’s a boundary. Not to mention my emotional growth ruined by medication, you think I’m just OK with it? It’s one of the many reasons why I hate my life - a victim mentality I never asked for!

I can find too many reasons why seeking treatment is a sign of weakness and not strength. I am a very objective person so as harsh as this may sound to some, I personally don’t see otherwise. Come on let’s be honest - no social status and no career satisfactions, how is that strength? It’s not!

My family prevents my growth, or just does not support it. Because of that I can’t grow and always end up being weak. And yes, having people to support your growth is important, you can’t do it alone

I also got sick of listening to too many points of views in suicide hotlines for instance, throwing charming but shallow wisdom sentences like “social skills is like exercise - you have to keep it up”, which sends feelings of regret as a side effect

I disagree that depression itself is a sign of strength, it's a mental illness that sucks to have. Seeking treatment and taking steps to get better however, are signs of strength.

I am unsure how old you are, but if you are an adult then your family cannot hold you hostage and prevent you from taking steps to get better.

Having people to support us is important for sure, a support system can be extremely helpful. -However-, if the people you live with are actively working against you, it is time to move on from these people.

I know before you have mentioned that minimum wage jobs feel "below" you. But wouldn't it be worth it to take such a job if it meant living independently, away from people who don't want to see you get better?

What is keeping you stuck? What steps can you take to get unstuck?

[Humpty Dumpty]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

One of my unfortunate suspicions about therapy and mental health treatment is the lies - “depression is a sign of strength”, “seeking mental health treatment is a sign of strength”. Not that it’s really a lie, as it can make one feel better.......

I also got sick of listening to too many points of views in suicide hotlines for instance, throwing charming but shallow wisdom sentences like “social skills is like exercise - you have to keep it up”, which sends feelings of regret as a side effect

I agree so much with what you said. If I were strong enough I would be dealing with this depression. If I were stronger I wouldn't be thinking of suicide daily. Depression is a sign of strength is a crock of ****.

People are programmed to say certain things in certain situations. They are programmed to tell you suicide is bad and selfish. In reality it is not 1 size fits all. I whole heartedly believe that suicide shpuld be a last resort once everything else has failed. Calling some stupid hotline won't tell you that.

[Fuzzybear]

Reading/listening

Also not a “fan” of hotlines..

scaredandconfused - What’s keeping me stuck is my over-calculations on how to live the best life possible
Obligations sometimes feel like an imprisonment

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

scaredandconfused - What’s keeping me stuck is my over-calculations on how to live the best life possible
Obligations sometimes feel like an imprisonment

Forget about the best life possible. Right now you are stuck and seem quite miserable with where your life is at. You can't magically go from miserable to the "best life possible". There is an in-between area, where obligations such as working to live independently financially come into play.

And realistically, every human has their bad days and their own demons to battle. Very few people would describe their current life situation as the "best life possible". I would encourage you to abandon the idea of magically arriving at the best life possible stage, and focus on more realistic goals.

Ultimately you will have to decide if you would rather:

1. Live at home with unsupportive family, be supported financially (not have to work) but be miserable, or:

2. Work on living independently through hard work.

Both options probably look pretty crappy. But keep in mind that nobody starts at a high paying job without having a degree or previous work experience, or both. Very few people start at the top of the ladder without having done any work first.

It's 100% up to you how much work you want to put in.

My stupid therapist discouraged me. He did it so much that I started to feel that way about myself, he has shattered it. I have a problem trusting therapists because of ehat happened.
When I read what you say, I remember hom aaying “But eveeryone wants to be successful” and wanted me to stand down from the idea

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

My stupid therapist discouraged me. He did it so much that I started to feel that way about myself, he has shattered it. I have a problem trusting therapists because of ehat happened.
When I read what you say, I remember hom aaying “But eveeryone wants to be successful” and wanted me to stand down from the idea

There's nothing at all wrong with wanting to be successful or happy. But it is naive to think that you can go from your current life situation to successful and happy without there being some hard work to do in between.

If you are dead set against working a minimum wage job, you could consider applying for school and getting by with student loans. But let me emphasize, there is NO shame in working a minimum wage job.

That’s not the problem. The therapist discouraged my spirit. When I read it all I agree. Then that therapist appears and belittingly puts me down from the idea and scolds me

I want to succeed but I just can’t trust hard work anymore. Not that I don’t want to work hard, but therapist would always say “there’s allot of work to do”.
I agree, but I just don’t trust THEIR work in all this. My son of a ***** ex therapist said “it takes your commitment”, and said “you can’t expect anything to happen when there are no weekly meetings with holes in the middle” (because that a**hole took vacations so he’s putting more responsibility on me and as usual resolves his sorry ***** from any)

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

My stupid therapist discouraged me. He did it so much that I started to feel that way about myself, he has shattered it. I have a problem trusting therapists because of ehat happened.
When I read what you say, I remember hom aaying “But eveeryone wants to be successful” and wanted me to stand down from the idea

Too many therapists, in my experience, have traits of NPD etc if not the full disorder, he may not have been working in your best interests, but rather for himself, what he could “get out of you” in terms of “supply”.

Just my opinion.

There isn’t shame in working at an “entry” type of job. Almost everyone has to work their way up, if they want to be successful, as society would define success.

The problem is OTHER people need to take responsibility in order for me to take responsibility, I JUST REALIZED THAT!
For example, if my parents can’t take responsibility of taking care of me well, I can’t take responsibility for ambitions or whatnot!

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

The problem is OTHER people need to take responsibility in order for me to take responsibility, I JUST REALIZED THAT!
For example, if my parents can’t take responsibility of taking care of me well, I can’t take responsibility for ambitions or whatnot!

Why the focus on others and what you feel they -should- do? That is a total waste of time and energy. Imagine how liberating it would be if you were to just focus on yourself, and not the wrongdoings of others.

If you want to allow the actions (or non-actions) of others to hold you back from the life you want and deserve, that is 100% on you.

But this is exactly the thing - the therapist would want me to take the "commitment to therapy", and "be responsible", while he could not take any responsibility for his own actions. How would you expect one to take responsibility when their teachers can't take their own?

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

But this is exactly the thing - the therapist would want me to take the "commitment to therapy", and "be responsible", while he could not take any responsibility for his own actions. How would you expect one to take responsibility when their teachers can't take their own?

Find a new teacher? Or choose to take responsibility for yourself only and focus on that?

Refusing to move forward because of someone wronging you is like setting your own house on fire to make someone feel bad. Your therapist will continue to live his life, and act how he does, regardless of how your life goes. Frankly, the only one you are punishing here is yourself.

If you choose to stay stuck at this point in your life, it will be on you. Not your therapist, not your parents. Yes, they may have played a part in how your perspective is now. But the only one responsible for our own lives as adults is ultimately us.

Whether you choose to accept that now, later, or never, is up to you. I wish you the best.

[downandlonely]

Maybe it's time to find a new therapist if this one isn't working for you.

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Find a new teacher? Or choose to take responsibility for yourself only and focus on that?

Refusing to move forward because of someone wronging you is like setting your own house on fire to make someone feel bad. Your therapist will continue to live his life, and act how he does, regardless of how your life goes. Frankly, the only one you are punishing here is yourself.

If you choose to stay stuck at this point in your life, it will be on you. Not your therapist, not your parents. Yes, they may have played a part in how your perspective is now. But the only one responsible for our own lives as adults is ultimately us.

Whether you choose to accept that now, later, or never, is up to you. I wish you the best.

Oh, that's not my point. My therapist tried to make some sort of "demands" from me - such as to find a job, get a degree, move out and not rely on my parents. And of course, he wanted me to take the responsibility and commitment to whatever he is saying. But since he could not take responsibility for his own actions, how would he expect me to listen to his teachings?
The point is - I need to hold people more accountable and responsible if I am to grow and develop.
You can see in films like Avengers for instance, where the heroes rely on each other's OWN responsibilities to win - they can't take care of their problems alone!
Or even a manager who RELIES on other co-workers in order to achieve his personal success and his department's goals, and he has to make sure he can rely on them!
Same with a therapist, and the same with my parents - it's time I hold my standards and depend on anyone when I need to.
And if someone who helps makes a mistake, particularly when they're a professional, they need to be held accountable, otherwise they are FIRED!

I don't understand why there comes a point where I get no replies. It's not the first time and I just feel no one cares about me and my thoughts
It seems to me like "Oh he thinks differently and there's no point convincing him otherwise, let's just move on"
My thinking differently is my attempt to live life to the fullest and I am offering this as an open discussion

It always happens when I want to motivate myself

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

I don't understand why there comes a point where I get no replies. It's not the first time and I just feel no one cares about me and my thoughts
It seems to me like "Oh he thinks differently and there's no point convincing him otherwise, let's just move on"
My thinking differently is my attempt to live life to the fullest and I am offering this as an open discussion

It always happens when I want to motivate myself

You seem very much stuck in your mindset, so it eventually becomes tiring to try and convince you to even consider a differing viewpoint. It may help if you emphasize that you are just posting to rant and not wanting to change. This way people don't type out long and thoughtful replies only to have each and every suggestion shot down.

[Fuzzybear]

“Feelings of regret as a side effect”

I’ve had many unpleasant “side effects” from “treatment” including therapy

I think everyone is unique, and probably has a unique perspective. But society seems to want clones?

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

You seem very much stuck in your mindset, so it eventually becomes tiring to try and convince you to even consider a differing viewpoint. It may help if you emphasize that you are just posting to rant and not wanting to change. This way people don't type out long and thoughtful replies only to have each and every suggestion shot down.

I'm sorry you see this so negatively, really
Using words such as "stuck" instead of "determined", or thinking that I am posting to "rant" just because my thoughts are different or I disagree

I wish you could discuss or resonate with what I write even if it doesn't match what you think