confessions of little turtle with love

i continue reading the book ---ANATOMY OF AN EPIDEMIC by Robert whitaker...
it is very disturbing to me because I may have harmed some of my patients..
I was just following what I was taught to do...but now maybe things have changed..
at least I didn't treat any children... thank goodness....it is hard not feeling guilty...
actually I wish I was back in there...I know better now...these drugs can be very dangerous if not used with caution and continued learning about alternative care...
and when to stop the drugs...

actually I was treating my depression the same way I was treating my patients...so that was good...I was taking the same antidepressants and
benzos...I was right there with my patients..

((((((((( little turtle ))))))))

I agree about the drugs . Too many are put on the drugs with little or no follow up and no therapy . And aren’t even “told” by the doctor to try to learn about alternative care . At least this is what happened to me ..

I’m grateful to have “met” you, as I didn’t feel, and still don’t, feel “cared about” in the slightest by any of the doctors in this forest. A couple I think did care or tried to care were completely constrained by the “system” etc and didn’t help either

I hope I can relate with you fuzzy patient to patient...
not doctor to patient...I am a person...I am just a person...
I want to love and be loved...person to person...yes..what do you think

I agree, I think of you as a good friend, not “my doctor” or as a doctor in particular, I do find your insights and posts helpful and refreshing. I’m just a person and so are you - I too want to love and be loved

beautiful...that makes me happy

I just had some wine...I have had a cocktail hour with my wife for 63 years ....
95 % of the time it is good...a couple of times it was bad...but no hitting..
tonight we talked about whether to hide things or bring them out in the light...
we have a difference about this....as a patient I now want to bring everything out in the open..i am just a depressed guy who is scared about the way the world is going...I don't like it...it scares me..it makes me so sad...I see so much suffering ..

Whether to hide things or bring them out into the light.. Papa Bear and I don’t really agree about this either. Mostly “little” things like my collection of stuffies, he doesn’t think there is anything wrong with my collecting stuffies, I know there isn’t anything wrong with it. But his family is, I guess, “reserved” and “conventional” - with one possible NPD (I hope not ).. and the “family” I came from were secretive to the extreme, judgemental, rejecting (maybe gaslighting,
haven’t really looked into that (yet) ...... it’s amazing I’m not more “crazy” than I am

The world scares me too and makes me sad .. I hate that there is so much suffering ..

fuzzy---can we be on a fuzzy bus...I want to listen to confessions

You’re much more “likeable” than me little turtle. And being forced to be “hypervigilant” it’s easy for me to notice behaviours etc that many would miss..

Heh. I wish I hadn’t been so stupid as to give that therapist so many “chances”

It’s in my nature to be “forgiving”

Although some, especially the step maternal unit ... could find Nothing good about me..... do you think maybe she had “bigger issues”...

fuzzy will you be my therapist on the bus....

I can try to be your therapist on the bus...

I just want to cry...but I cant..

I should never have gone into psychiatry...
I should have gone into psychology...
it was a mistake for me to be a medical doctor...
but now I have to manage that...
I need to retire from anything having to do with doctor stuff..
I want to help but I need to stay away from those psych medicines..
for me they helped but they hurt...I think they hurt more than helped..for me

fuzzy I am reading that book ANATOMY OF AN EPIDEMIC...
I am getting more disturbed about what is happening to children...
my wife says stop reading that...but I need to know what is going on with
these medicines we are getting...and the psych meds kids are getting..
what is going on...what happened to DO NO HARM...it makes me sad and mad..

fuzzy what do you think I should do...

Does your wife give a reason why she wants you to stop reading that book?

Either way, I’d keep reading it ... let me know what you find

I’ve been eating more sugar this week

Do no harm. this is very important I agree.

(I’m putting on my fuzzy “therapist hat” )

How are you feeling today, little turtle?

It’s so funny, some people might think I’m “up myself” whatever that means

Well, I think I may have proved those who thought I was “just a quiet person / child” .. not to be particularly insightful

Love to you little turtle

I am not happy.....I don't feel secure...