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  #51  
Old Jan 26, 2019, 05:16 AM
Anonymous32451
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still in a lot of chronic pain.

getting dressed today was an absolute nightmare and I lost my patience with my back on several ocasions (I know, I'm so bad!)

music on now and just chilling. probably should do something and make the most of the day... but do what, exactly.

it's not like I really want to do anything
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  #52  
Old Jan 26, 2019, 05:57 PM
Anonymous41141
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It wasn't much of a day today. I did my usual stuff for Saturday. I was going to meet with my friend near where I go shopping. I really preferred him to come to my place instead but he has a hard time with that. As it turned out he didn't show up when I got to the place. He finally showed up as I was checking out of the grocery store. Too late! So we barely spent a couple of minutes together. I really need another friend to replace him but it's hard for me to get. So I ended up feeling depressed and disgusted.

I have been having a headache and runny nose for most of the day. It's been very dry and windy outside. I hope I'm not getting sick.

Also I feel like the searching for a new place is not going very easy. I'm not in a deadline but I feel like I'm not being patient in all of this.
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  #53  
Old Jan 27, 2019, 05:22 AM
Anonymous32451
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yesterday I ordered takeout from the newly opened pizza place. it was nice, I had meat feast with chicken wings

after dinner I watched WWE main event (most of it was good, though I wasn't too kean on the last part)

discovered a new group yesterday called bts (and a new type of music, K-POP) which I think is awesome.

sleep didn't happen for me yesterday and nor did rest

chronic pain not letting up at all and back's really stiff

not much to do today... watch a bit of tv I missed last week (if I can be bothered), and cook something for dinner.

ffeel okay, just the pain sucks. it really, really sucks
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  #54  
Old Jan 27, 2019, 08:44 AM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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I'm not depressed, which is good. I've got some serious dental pain, and I better get that addressed. I am at the hospital a lot, caring for my boyfriend. His condition is serious, but he is quite comfortable most of the time. I have to attend to my own wellbeing better than I'm doing. I've got to get organized and plan out what I do hour by hour. Pretty soon I should leave and go home.
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  #55  
Old Jan 27, 2019, 12:49 PM
Anonymous41141
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I woke up early this morning and got thinking about a lot of things. Mostly about possibly making a move. I ask myself why in my right mind would I want to lower my living standards and increase my monthly domestic expenses? The answer to that is I can't stand my place. Lately it's not that bad, but it's nice this time of year until it warms up then it will be bad.

I'm feeling alright after I had breakfast. I don't know why? It's a real nice day outside. Very sunny with no wind and fairly warm. I physically feel better this morning than I did yesterday. Right now I'm doing the laundry. I'm a bit upset that the laundry has gone up 125% in using it from before.

Last edited by Anonymous41141; Jan 27, 2019 at 03:48 PM.
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  #56  
Old Jan 27, 2019, 04:15 PM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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Feeling sad and lonely. Not sure what to do with myself. Forcing myself to do chores. I feel so blah. I feel bad if I don't get stuff done. I just want to go to bed instead. Maybe I'll feel better when I wake up.
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  #57  
Old Jan 28, 2019, 05:42 AM
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Feel better after getting some sleep. I'm staying busy this morning. Getting all my chores out the way. Maybe later I can relax and do something fun.
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  #58  
Old Jan 28, 2019, 10:39 AM
Anonymous32451
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yesterday I was listening to someone on blah therapy who had bipolar and she was telling me that no one understands her and she's sick of people judging her.

I told her I don't do that kind of thing and we got to talking about celebrities with bipolar and what an inspiration they were

she then asked me what my coping methods were and I told her I like to journal, to listen to music, and to watch cartoons.

she goes... you're 25 and you like cartoons?

and diss connected

so the fact I'm too old for cartoons is more important than being understood.... okay. personally I will always watch cartoons, no matter what anyone says.

I am feeling depressed today because.... well... it is a regular, boring day

and when I say regular and boring, it doesn't even cut it

their is nothing happening today. it's almost like this day wasn't meant to be in the calendar or something
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  #59  
Old Jan 28, 2019, 03:28 PM
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mountainstream mountainstream is offline
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Anxious and depressed.
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  #60  
Old Jan 28, 2019, 05:11 PM
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Feeling tired and depressed. It's my bed time but I'm not sleepy. Maybe if I color for a while. I got a new coloring book and some new pencils. Maybe my cat will cuddle with me and we can listen to rain sounds.
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  #61  
Old Jan 28, 2019, 08:15 PM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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I want to get away from here
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  #62  
Old Jan 29, 2019, 12:01 AM
Anonymous41141
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Fairly busy day today at work and it was an OK day there emotionally. Later on after I got home, my mood sunk. I did a small workout, since I'm not able to do the workouts I had been doing before. I feel bad about that. At dinner, the guy next door was making a lot of noise coming in and being with his girlfriend. He then had his stereo on very loud with awful music. Later on I went to the pool area. There was a couple there that I was not crazy about. But I made some small talk, such as how long they have lived at the place. The woman told me that she wants to buy a condo unit at the complex. Well, I told her about mine and that I'm wanting to sell. She said that she was not going to buy real soon but she might be interested in my place.
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  #63  
Old Jan 29, 2019, 02:14 PM
Anonymous32451
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today an old friend came to visit me which was nice. she baught me some more lipstick (red lipstick). I also got a delivery from my friend sophie. she ordered me an amazon alexa, because she knows how much I like music. I've been having a lot of fun this afternoon exploring it's many features (I still have to email her and thank her for the gift)
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  #64  
Old Jan 29, 2019, 03:11 PM
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It's still early afternoon but I'm getting tired and sad. It means my bed time is fast approaching. I may just go to bed now before the depression really hits me.
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  #65  
Old Jan 29, 2019, 03:35 PM
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PsychNitrous PsychNitrous is offline
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I haven't been around much, I feel like things are falling apart around me. I recently moved in with my boyfriend's grandma, and while visiting his mother's fiancee passed away. I've been extremely stressed and anxious, which has made my pancreatitis flair up for the last month. I keep getting hormone-related depressive episodes.
Possible trigger:
I'm just tired, and all I want to do is sleep.
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  #66  
Old Jan 29, 2019, 08:23 PM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
today an old friend came to visit me which was nice. she baught me some more lipstick (red lipstick). I also got a delivery from my friend sophie. she ordered me an amazon alexa, because she knows how much I like music. I've been having a lot of fun this afternoon exploring it's many features (I still have to email her and thank her for the gift)
That's awesome that you got an Amazon Alexa as a gift. I hope you have great fun with it. There's so much you can do.
__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #67  
Old Jan 29, 2019, 09:49 PM
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I have physical therapy tomorrow. I don't want to go. The last session hurt me for a few days. I'm concerned about this next session. I prefer not to do soft tissue work. I don't think they know what they're doing. They're just stirring the hornet's nest. That's my opinion about my case. I don't see any improvement. I just see me getting worse. I just want a steroid injection. I know I will feel so much better.

I will try to be positive. I'll tell them I'm worse and ask not to do the soft tissue work.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #68  
Old Jan 29, 2019, 11:52 PM
Anonymous41141
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It was a slow day at work. Not much eventful things going on today. Tonight, as I was heading back to my place from the pool area, I got talking to the woman downstairs from me. She was telling me that the people in the pool area around 9:30 at night are really bad. They are very noisy with loud music. It seems like that persuades me into leaving my place all the more. Fortunately it hasn't been that bad for me, but I go around 8, so it must really be bad after I leave. But I think it's going to be bad when it starts to warm up. The pool area and the area where my unit is.
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  #69  
Old Jan 30, 2019, 08:02 PM
Anonymous41141
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Another day and it was a slow one. I was disappointed when I got a message saying that a place I was going to look at next Saturday is taken. So I wonder if I'll ever get out of my place that I live at now?
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  #70  
Old Jan 30, 2019, 09:34 PM
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I'm stressed over physical therapy. I have better things to do with my time than worrying about someone manipulating me and putting pressure on me. I turned off my phone so I don't have to hear from anyone tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere tomorrow but to run errands. It's my day.
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‘Live for now,’

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  #71  
Old Jan 31, 2019, 04:37 AM
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LifelongLoner LifelongLoner is offline
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I don't enjoy the company of people anymore. I just want to be alone. Alone. Leave me alone.
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  #72  
Old Jan 31, 2019, 04:54 PM
Anonymous32451
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most of my time's been taken up exploring my new amazon alexa (which can also explain why I've not been here as much). I love it, my friend sophie sent it to me and so far I'm really enjoying it

I also got some new red lipstick this week. it's a really brite red and looks really nice on me.

I've had a low appetite this week because.. well, I don't know. I just have. maybe it's just because my days are so dull and depressing, or maybe it's because my cooking is just geting worse (I actually vote the latter)

I've also not been sleeping, but that's not really news
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  #73  
Old Jan 31, 2019, 05:27 PM
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Feeling sad, depressed and all alone in the world right now.
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  #74  
Old Jan 31, 2019, 05:50 PM
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Deilla Deilla is offline
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Sad, lonely and tired.
__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #75  
Old Jan 31, 2019, 11:52 PM
Anonymous41141
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I felt like the I.T. guy at work was irritating to me today. He seems (or thinks) that he's the boss of the place. He isn't. He's just the I.T. guy. And he gets involved in stuff that I do that's not a concern to him.

Been feeling down because I got looking at places online at where I would want to live. Made some phone calls and it was going no where. Perhaps I should try another site. And then I feel stuck at my place. But things haven't been too bad lately. That's because it's cold and very wet outside. That's when it's pretty nice. All Hell will break loose once it gets warm and nice outside.
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