Originally Posted by Seafarer

I feel sympathy for your anxiety. At the same time, your post gave me some perspective, into memories of life as it is for people who have money. You talk of possibly having to buy a new computer after recently buying a camera and accessories, plus planning a trip.

Sometimes it seems to me that people who are able to buy things they need, or just want; people who are able to travel; must not have any anxiety about anything at all.

But that's not the case. While I sit at home wishing I could travel, wishing I could move away from here, it gives me a different perspective to realize that even having freedom to have and to do doesn't mean a person is free of anxiety.

To Seafarer, thank you for replying. I have fairly good amount of money for myself now, but it's weird that I can feel insecure about it. I have recently started a post about myself on this on the Insurance And Finances forum.

I feel a little bit guilty about this since other people are struggling with finances. As you may know, there had been successful people who have ended their lives. I read an article just recently that depression is very common among those who work in high-paying positions. There must be anxiety that goes along with it; since anxiety and depression go hand and hand.

It seems like the world is not a safe and secure place. Good amounts of money can just vanish quickly, even from those who are wise and sensible with their money. I live in an area where the rents are high and homelessness abounds. I live in a pretty nice small apartment house that's surrounded by high-rises that are selling just condo units for 1-2 million dollars each (no kidding!). So it's intimidating to me. And then I could lose my job or have a catastrophic health issue happen to me. I am pretty much up there in age now.

I've been feeling better about everything. I've got my cat, guitar and food. I'm going to make my life work for me. I'm trying.

[Seafarer]

Originally Posted by 2daffodils

I've been feeling better about everything. I've got my cat, guitar and food. I'm going to make my life work for me. I'm trying.

You sound like me. I have my cat, guitar, food, and a roof over our heads. I'm trying to make our lives work for us. Cat seems happy enough, if sometimes bored. Guitar is probably feeling neglected in its case.

Thank you for the perspective.

[Rose76]

I'm okay. Felt good last eve.

Life is too hard.
Im getting silent treatment at work.
im barely getting by.
im ruminating over what happened in the past.
I am not going to get promoted. it feels like life is fruitless.
I don't only have street parking. I work the night shift so I get home in the early hours. I only can get bad parking spots by the school, where I have to move my car by 630am. when I skateboard home at night there are crimes going on and shady people.
I hate my job and my coworkers.
I can barely afford to live alone.
Adulting is so hard. Hourly wages don't cover any expenses like the did for older generations.
I don't have any fight.
I don't have parents to help me with my car or my rent or to give me info about how to find apartments or buy cars. I did it all alone.
something is truly wrong with me. my failures are because I am empty uninspired and lazy.
I am completely alone. I don't have anything in common with others.

I have not been sleeping well at night lately. I get to sleep quickly but then wake up in the middle of the night and it's hard to fall back to sleep. I would fall into a good sleep when it's only an hour away of when I have to get up. Also I've been having a headache all day and still having it now. Feeling like bad things are going to happen, even though there's nothing coming up to dread.

in quite a bit of fibro pain. have been since monday

still, trying to make an effert to get things done (things that don't require too much movement, alexa quiz, eat, etc)

kinda depressed though- jus been another **** week to put it bluntly

[3rd rock]

I found a feather from my pet Lovebird under the couch while cleaning today. She died several months ago, after I'd had her for many years. She was my only friend. She was very devoted and affectionate, which is why they're called Lovebirds. Finding her feather today made me intensely sad and painful. I shouldn't be feeling so sad after all the time that's passed, but I can't help it.

[kumy]

It's ok to still feel sad about it, 3rd rock. There's not a stipulated amount of time during which you are allowed to mourn her. You will be able to remember the good times with her without the sadness, but that will come on its own. Do not try to change your emotions....

[Rose76]

I am very depressed today. I just broke down crying. I don't even know why.

Not much sleep last night.

[Seafarer]

Originally Posted by kumy

It's ok to still feel sad about it, 3rd rock. There's not a stipulated amount of time during which you are allowed to mourn her. You will be able to remember the good times with her without the sadness, but that will come on its own. Do not try to change your emotions....

This. It takes time.

Originally Posted by Rose76

I am very depressed today. I just broke down crying. I don't even know why.

Not much sleep last night.

(((((Rose)))))
Hope you feel better soon.

There's not much to say. I'd like to be completely self-less, I'd like to not care that all I se in my life is others needs and wanting to be of use to them. Then I see back that they really down deep don't care at all about me. I wish I knew what it was to make most people not think of me and my needs.
There isn't any thoughtfulness. I reach out to friends, what few I have, and they don't reach back. It must be me. It must be by personality is a turn off.
I can't change much at this point. I sound selfish now, but just once in my life I wanted someone who is a true friend, truly cares, in whatever this so called life is. I'm being sorry for myself tonight. That's not a good way to think.

[kumy]

Today I'm really down and I just want to curl in bed and sleep for three months, at least. But, alas, I'm not even allowed to do that.

[Seafarer]

I would like to be help to others too, @2daffodils, just as I would like for others to be around for me when I need them. But I get the feeling from others that they don't need anything I have to offer, or anything from anyone else either. So that makes me wonder, maybe I'm "supposed" to not need others either? That idea doesn't make any sense to me. I thought people were meant to be here for each other. But I'm the only person I know who seems to need others' help sometimes. It makes me wonder what they have that I don't have. Am I disabled in some way I don't even know about?

One thing it has taught me is that people who have enough money can do anything they want, get anything they want, themselves. But money is not supposed to be the main "treasure" in life.

@Seafarer that is how I feel. I did have use today, I brought my son food and we talked about work. I miss him. I actually said to my roommate today that if I had money in the bank is have my own home. I meant it. But I agree money is not the be all end all.. but it's unfortunately a necessity to get through life. I've done my part. Guess I feel used. Things change though. Thanks for the reply, it's appreciated. I hope you have a good night.

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by kumy

It's ok to still feel sad about it, 3rd rock. There's not a stipulated amount of time during which you are allowed to mourn her. You will be able to remember the good times with her without the sadness, but that will come on its own. Do not try to change your emotions....

Originally Posted by Seafarer

This. It takes time.

Thank you for your kind words. She was my only friend through the worst times in my life, and I miss her affection greatly. I'll be okay.

The weekend has just begun for me. Nothing much except for the usual cleaning and shopping tomorrow. I'm doing OK with my friend being away. He will be back next Friday night. And then early the next morning I will leave on my vacation. It's just only a week away from now!

It seems like my neighbors are not being nice lately. They are hardly saying "hello". I don't know what's wrong with them. I get sick of people like that.

[Deilla]

I'm hoping to have a relaxing weekend. I've had a busy week. At the moment I feel calm and relaxed. I just got through dealing with some paperwork. It's done now. I'm glad. I have a stressful situation. But I'm making the best of it. I'm just taking things one step at a time.

[QuietTulip]

Hi, all.

I am new here. I have a lot of crying spells and depression relating to a few issues:

1. my insomnia. I am working on this with my therapist and doing a meditation program. But when I do not sleep, I cry all day, and things seem hopelees.

2. My soulmate's death in April. I am working on this in therapy, but I still have scattered crying spells.

3. low motivation. I spent lots of time stuck on the couch.

4 socials isolation-have only a few local friends, whom I rarely see. I am 48, and meeting people is much harder than it was 30 years ago. I tend to be quiet and introverted anyway.

But I did get out yesterday did some errands and went to therapy. I am trying to get interested in creative things again, writing a new story..

I'm very tired.

I'm feeling pretty down tonight. I got a movie and I hope I will like it. The movies I have been watching lately have not been that good. I'm getting sick of just watching movies every Saturday night by myself.

In a week from now I will be about 2000 miles away from home for a week.

[Rose76]

I feel okay.

Been very busy this morning with the laundry and making spaghetti sauce. The laundry was a bit of a headache as other people were using the machines; causing some delays. But it was OK because I had so much time and not much to lose.

Lately I feel like my neighbors at where I live are not liking me. I've been getting the cold shoulder. I don't know what I could have done for them to not like me.

So far it's been a dull weekend. My sister hasn't called me in a while. Since I'll be away next week, I wonder if she will know that I'll be on vacation. I told her about three weeks ago, but I get the feeling that she may have forgotten about it.

Ordered two books from eBay. First time ordering on eBay. I've used amazon in the past and it was ok. I don't shop online much at all though.

The first book was a scam, I received a pdf doc.

the second book came slightly damaged, there is a large crease in the cover. I'm so upset. I don't even want to touch it anymore. I should have just bought it new at the store. if I remember correctly there was only a three dollar difference since it's a pretty esoteric book of translated poetry....There was a postit pointing to the crease which said DA. idk what the **** that means?

I also feel ****** about my clothes. I just feel so unfashionable all the time.


I have an awful feeling my closest friend doesn't listen. doesn't want to listen, that my life is junk to him.