[SeptemberMorn]

Just the other day I realized that all the little annoyances of life are beginning to stack up like a brick wall. There doesn't seem to be a way to begin disassembling that wall. It just keeps getting taller and thicker.

I come here today as is my habit; to see where I can lend a hand, give a word of encouragement... and I'm just overwhelmed by all the pain. I try... but my heart doesn't extend itself, my hand won't reach out, my mind refuses to work with me.

There's nothing I can do... not for you, not for me. The urge to crawl inside is there but I've been there. It's not a place I want to revisit. Yet, the door is open. The darkness, the nothingness beckons.

There's nothing you can do, either. The answers all lay in the shadows between the darkened doorway and the light. They glimmer, fade in and out with the vibrations of specters, taunting me, "catch me if you can." .............

[EJ711]

SeptemberMorn,

I too feel hemmed in on all sides.

God can work a miracle in our lives, despite the circumstances. Let's hold onto that!

Hugs,

EJ

[EJ711]

SeptemberMorn,

Oh -- I had another thought.

The downside of the holidays is based on what we see on TV, our lives can look diminished.

Hugs,

EJ

[Perna]

Hey, you did post here and try to "help yourself" so that wall has cracks, obviously. Let us comfort you now some, lend you some hope?

I use to, when I got overwhelmed, throw a mental hand grenade into the mess/my thinking & feeling and "start over". If you have 42 things you must do, trash them all, "refuse" them, and think of the first 3-5 you really want/feel you must do NOW and then work on doing those "now". Starting to work on something always gives me fresh hope and makes me feel like I'm getting back on track. Nothing gets lost that is important so you don't have to worry that the other 37-39 things won't be able to find you again if they need to :-)

[EJ711]

Perna,

Wow!! A mental hand grenade -- what a visual that creates!!

I used the priority method for getting things done. I work on the top priority until it gets done, or I get stuck like when writing an economics lecture, then I work on something else for awhile (# 2) priority.

Stay with us, September Morn!!!

Hugs,

EJ

[Fuzzybear]

That's why there are here I think, sometimes it's all we can give but if the love is there, sometimes its enough ((((((((((((( Tomi ))))))))))))

[Perna]

Actually, my thinking use to be very weapons, military, war oriented :-) I had a T point that out to me once. But I thought of my head as my "foxhole" and would throw the hand grenade into my own foxhole Good thing no one else was in there with me! I think I didn't picture anyone in there, including myself, it was more like a "space" for storage or living only it had gotten "messy" so I'd blow the whole thing up and start over with a "clean" space. Kind of like I'd picture moving to start over now I think. Only I'd "get rid of" everything quickly so I could pretend it didn't exist "yet".

I know the brick wall you're talking about, September, I think if I had that again (haven't had one for a long time) I'd try to "own" the wall and that would help me either dismantle it or do home-improvements to it to put in a door, LOL.

[pegasus]

((((((( SeptemberMorn ))))))))

I want you to know what a special person you are, your words of wisdom and compassion always come shining through your posts.

I'm sorry you feel you are sitting in the dark, yes we feel like that too. Rest a while dear friend and know that I am thinking of you.

[nowheretorun]

this too shall pass? personally i think this depression is related to the new moon phase... usually the full gets my juices running but this recent new phase was commentable...

[SeptemberMorn]

Hemmed in?? Did I say "hemmed in"? How did you guess, EJ? I can't seen to be able to make a move without an argument, an opposing opinion, or just plane getting ignored. Me and my needs just don't seem to matter... to ANYONE... much less my wants!!

If there's a miracle in this, I sure can't see how it cold happen. But then, that's why it would be a miracle, right?

It's not the Holidays. I've hardly given them any thought. This has been a long time coming.

[SeptemberMorn]

If only it was that easy! Thankfully, there isn't that much I HAVE to do. I've been doing only those things that interest me and give me some satisfaction... which is damn little!

The annoyances come from 3D so called friends and family, especially my husband. He's continually lobbing the grenades at ME. He's so totally oblivious to how his actions and lack of affect me; even his thoughtless words. For some stupid reason, I can't bring myself to pick of one of his granades and launch it back at him! Therein lies the problem!!

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}



Yes, it does help, Sweety. Thanks.

[wickedwings]

i know how you feel, septie. ((((hugs to you)))

[SeptemberMorn]

Dismantle the wall. That's my only choice. I just can't seem to do it right now. Either I don't have the courage or I don't have the strength... or maybe neither. But the wall is definetely mine! I helped build it thinking that it would work in my favor. HA!

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Pegasus}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Your caring is palpable in your communications with me. You're a rare friend, indeed.

Did you know that compassion can be a fault at times? Yes, ma'am. That's what's gotten me in the fix I'm in at the moment. You have to be careful, sometimes, to whom you give that compassion.

Rest? How do I do that when I feel that I'll get obliterated if I stop to take even one small breath?

[SeptemberMorn]

Oh, Darrell, how I wish it was as simple as the moon phase! If it is, then my moon has been stuck in this phase for years! LOL

But hey! I'll keep a watch on that moon and see if anything changes, ok?

[Perna]

When the moon is in the seventh house
and Jupiter aligns with Mars. . . :-)

Ah, the grumbly, snide, grenade-lobbing surrounding people!

{{{SeptemberMorn}}}

[SeptemberMorn]

LOL That was the age of Aquarius. It's over, Perna.

Been thinking about your suggestion re home improvement. Maybe there is a way to put a door in that wall. Then the question arises, "What do I need him for, then??"

Then there's the old woman (I say that, because she's 10 yrs older than I LOL) that calls me incesantly and if I don't answer the phone, she comes over. If I tell her I'm busy or don't feel well, it goes over her head. She takes her bird outside with her and then comes crying because it flew away, then she's up to all hours of the night walking the streets and whistling for it, and wonders why it doesn't swoop down and land on her shoulder... when it's pitch black outside... and calls me to keep me updated. Then there's the personal provider that comes on Tues and Thurs but shows up when she feels like it and her start time is 8:30 am. When she's asked to take me to the store, says she can't, she won't bend down to clean dust bunnies from under the couch or the bed, won't touch my feet but wants to wash my hair, which I don't need help with. She insists on using twice the amount of soap in the laundry and I have soft water. Doesn't understand that trash goes in one can and paper and cardboard go in the RECYCLE can!! All of this has been going on for 14 months!

The husband thing has been going on for 33 yrs! Too bad they don't have a smilie shooting its brains out!

[tigerlillie76]

I really don't have any advice to offer you SeptemberMorn. I'm pretty lost myself. I just hope it gets better for you soon.

[SweetSunshine]

Tomi I am in no position to be giving marital advice with mine on the edge of you know where.. but just wanted you to know that I am here for you and it was good to talk to you again last night. Take care of you ok?

Hugz
Bethy

[Perna]

Your old woman with the bird remind me of the "Vulgar Parrot" joke? Maybe it will spark some idea you can use agains the old lady or your husband? LOL

There's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!".

But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK, that's it for you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really ticks the bird off and he claws and scratches until the guy finally lets him out. When he's out the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make even a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible ruckus. The bird kicks and claws and trashes. Then it suddenly gets quiet, very quiet... At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Just then the parrot says, "By the way, what the heck did that chicken do anyway?".

[nothemama8]

Tomi if you think it might help we have a little hammer that we would like to come elp knock down the wall, have'nt been on in 3 days cuz we've been overwhelmed too, so many things plus the season change, so can we come and hack away with you at that crappy wall???????????????

[SeptemberMorn]

Thanks, Tigerlillie. If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know. No promises, but I'm sure you understand. I can at least listen.

[SeptemberMorn]

Don't know how you do it, Bethy. You're in the midst of some pretty tough times and you can still make me laugh.

[SeptemberMorn]

The freezer, eh? LMBO I'll have to give that some serious thought. There's a dead chicken in there already (the ex-husband)!

Thanks for the laughs! LOL