[Buffy01]

I been feeling really down and depressed a lot. I tried to go outside for some fresh air and do some exercise. I try to eat healthy. If I try to go out? I feel really bad. I rarely feel good when I go out. Anyone ever feel this way?

[TishaBuv]

There are times when I’ve been so depressed and driving, and am in such a dark, sad place I started an anti anxiety med a few months ago, and those depths have stopped.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

There are times when I’ve been so depressed and driving, and am in such a dark, sad place I started an anti anxiety med a few months ago, and those depths have stopped.

I just want to feel good!. I feel like I go into a dark place.

[TishaBuv]

Are you seeing a therapist? Any meds?

[Thirty shades]

Buffy01

I understand how you are feeling. I am having a prolonged spell of feeling this way. I am under a lot of stress and I don't see it being over for at least a few months. I find it hard to pick myself up and catch myself from falling when I am being triggered so much. I have no energy left. And now I have panic rising up in me so many times a day.

It all is trashing my self esteem. I feel really useless and my memories of emotional meltdowns leave me with large doses of toxic shame.

Much respect to you and everyone who is suffering

[Fuzzybear]

buffy

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

Buffy01

I understand how you are feeling. I am having a prolonged spell of feeling this way. I am under a lot of stress and I don't see it being over for at least a few months. I find it hard to pick myself up and catch myself from falling when I am being triggered so much. I have no energy left. And now I have panic rising up in me so many times a day.

It all is trashing my self esteem. I feel really useless and my memories of emotional meltdowns leave me with large doses of toxic shame.

Much respect to you and everyone who is suffering

I don’t feel shame about my emotional meltdowns. I feel anger about how those ‘loved ones’ who triggered it feel no empathy toward me for it— they even feel resentment toward me for it and I feel they don’t like me for it— shame on THEM!

[TishaBuv]

I’ve noticed some people here seem to have a generalized depression that is not really about any specific issues. For me, it is all due to very specific issues.

Is your depression general or specific issues, Buffy?

[Thirty shades]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I don’t feel shame about my emotional meltdowns. I feel anger about how those ‘loved ones’ who triggered it feel no empathy toward me for it— they even feel resentment toward me for it and I feel they don’t like me for it— shame on THEM!

I guess the reason I feel shame is because I end up having meltdowns with people other than those really responsible.

I felt anger towards the abusers too, like you say they blame and resent you. I have worked on that using Pete Walkers book, CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving. The triggers still come though. My anger is lessened and I have no contact with family that are not supportive.

You are right, shame on them!

Sending respect and kind thoughts to you

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

I guess the reason I feel shame is because I end up having meltdowns with people other than those really responsible.

I felt anger towards the abusers too, like you say they blame and resent you. I have worked on that using Pete Walkers book, CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving. The triggers still come though. My anger is lessened and I have no contact with family that are not supportive.

You are right, shame on them!

Sending respect and kind thoughts to you

I also agree. Shame on the abusers!!

Respect and kind thoughts to all

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Are you seeing a therapist? Any meds?

I was seeing a therapist last April and hadn't got back in touch with the therapist since. My first session open up wounds that I didn't want open and made me feel really bad.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

Buffy01

I understand how you are feeling. I am having a prolonged spell of feeling this way. I am under a lot of stress and I don't see it being over for at least a few months. I find it hard to pick myself up and catch myself from falling when I am being triggered so much. I have no energy left. And now I have panic rising up in me so many times a day.

It all is trashing my self esteem. I feel really useless and my memories of emotional meltdowns leave me with large doses of toxic shame.

Much respect to you and everyone who is suffering

I been depressed my whole life. I rarely feel good. I live with toxic people in my life. I have a hard time picking myself up on days I feel so down.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

buffy

I really need a hug.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I been depressed my whole life. I rarely feel good. I live with toxic people in my life. I have a hard time picking myself up on days I feel so down.

Can you get away from the toxic people? Can you get back to a therapist?

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I don’t feel shame about my emotional meltdowns. I feel anger about how those ‘loved ones’ who triggered it feel no empathy toward me for it— they even feel resentment toward me for it and I feel they don’t like me for it— shame on THEM!

Sometimes I do feel shame. Sometime I feel angry because I feel depressed. So because no one who I know understand me or they think it something you can get over.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Can you get away from the toxic people? Can you get back to a therapist?

No because the toxic people live with me. The therapist I had stop working with me after one session. We don't have a lot of therapist who are trained everyone is leaving.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I’ve noticed some people here seem to have a generalized depression that is not really about any specific issues. For me, it is all due to very specific issues.

Is your depression general or specific issues, Buffy?

Some of it is.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

I guess the reason I feel shame is because I end up having meltdowns with people other than those really responsible.

I felt anger towards the abusers too, like you say they blame and resent you. I have worked on that using Pete Walkers book, CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving. The triggers still come though. My anger is lessened and I have no contact with family that are not supportive.

You are right, shame on them!

Sending respect and kind thoughts to you

I'm currently trying to get access to a workbook

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I also agree. Shame on the abusers!!

Respect and kind thoughts to all

Shame on the abuser.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I don’t feel shame about my emotional meltdowns. I feel anger about how those ‘loved ones’ who triggered it feel no empathy toward me for it— they even feel resentment toward me for it and I feel they don’t like me for it— shame on THEM!

Good post. (well put)

I feel anger towards those ''loved ones'' who have no empathy for me. They triggered my melt downs and they blame me and resent me. I think the Shame belongs to them. Grrrrrrrrrrr

Hugs to all

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I really need a hug.

Buffy

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

Buffy01

I understand how you are feeling. I am having a prolonged spell of feeling this way. I am under a lot of stress and I don't see it being over for at least a few months. I find it hard to pick myself up and catch myself from falling when I am being triggered so much. I have no energy left. And now I have panic rising up in me so many times a day.

It all is trashing my self esteem. I feel really useless and my memories of emotional meltdowns leave me with large doses of toxic shame.

Much respect to you and everyone who is suffering

Much respect to you dear Thirty shades. You're not useless.


Toxic shame, I hate that feeling

Hugs and respect to all who are suffering

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Good post. (well put)

I feel anger towards those ''loved ones'' who have no empathy for me. They triggered my melt downs and they blame me and resent me. I think the Shame belongs to them. Grrrrrrrrrrr

Hugs to all

I feel like that all the time.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Buffy

Thanks for the hugs. I really need a hug today.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Much respect to you dear Thirty shades. You're not useless.


Toxic shame, I hate that feeling

Hugs and respect to all who are suffering

I have so much toxic shame. I'm looking for a way to heal.