I need some encouragement.

I wonder if you took same meds for so long that they stopped working? My husband had to go to complete switch of meds for his OCD because his meds just stopped working. His Tourette’s was so out of control he had hard time working. Because he is on the lowest dose possible, the only way to go was complete switch of meds. It was a hassle for a few months but it’s good now.

What normally works for him and is recommended for OCD (he says it’s often recommended for other forms of anxieties too) is off label use. Anti depression meds used for anxiety variations, he doesn’t have depression.

So I wonder if you could talk to your doc about it. He is on trintelix (sp?) and it seems to help. Before that he was on Celexa. It was good too, just ran its course

That must be a rather recently invented drug - that Trintelix. I had to look it up. I see it is used to treat anxiety (off-label) as well as depression. That's good that your husband seems to be improving on it.

My basic problem is that I'm alone too much. Not many people can be happy, living like that. No medication can medicate away the unhappiness of feeling that I don't really matter to anyone. Anxiety comes from fearing that that's how my life will be from now on.

A benzodiazepine would probably reduce the intense discomfort of this awful anxiety. That's really the only drug I would like to get. Several times a day, I break down and get almost hysterical. The best way to quickly stop that is with a benzodiazepine. There's a reason why benzos are popular on the street. They make you feel good. They are "pain killers" for the mind. I need an emotional pain killer right now. Alcohol works for some. I'm just not that big of a drinker.

Now, I've got a snowball's chance in hell of getting a benzo from any doctor. There is something else that would work to relieve this misery. That would be to simply stop being alone. Since that's probably the cause of this pain. For someone who has been isolated for so long, it's a challenge to connect with others. That's life: Challenge comes. You rise to meet it or you don't.

Right now, I should get out of bed and start tidying up around the place. I'll feel better, if I do.

@divine1966 - thanks for your post. It helped me to think some things through.

So youre not into like facebook groups? Ive joined ones for various tv shows (like my 600 lb life, among others), ethnic groups, humor groups, plus theres the 60 cousins - not all have accounts, but enough do to get more than a handful of birthday greetings. Maybe im delusional but it makes me feel like im part of something, like my opinion matters. Sometimes people even like or chuckle at my views. I find it affirming.

@unaluna - thanks. I do belong to several facebook groups. I really do like my groups a lot. I also need to form connections IRL. That's where I have a big deficit.

I went to an Al Anon meeting this eve. I used to go to those meetings years ago when my boyfriend was drinking heavily. I learned a lot back then. There always seemed to be good people there with words of wisdom to share. Where I went tonight was a nice environment. I shared a little about how I've been very upset over receiving drunken phone calls and feel I need more wisdom about handling those kind of calls. I think I'll go back next week.

Going some place where I don't know anyone was hard for me to do. But staying at home was getting to be harder, so off I went.

I still feel awful pessimistic.

Al Anon is a great plan actually.

My good friend is single no kids, no partner, and no family, except one brother far away. She recently retired and she also has some on and off anxiety. There are particular things she does that keeps her busy. Book clubs. One in a local library and one through meet up. One through meet ups also turned out to form travel group so they go to small trips annually. She plays volleyball in a community center. She also signed up to be literacy tutor at a community center. She thought she’d be tutoring adults but she’s been tutoring a little boy twice a week, it’s very rewarding. she might tutor more kids. She has a small group of friends, me included, and we do things together. We’ve met through meet ups years ago. That group doesn’t exist anymore but we remain friends. We separately belong to different groups now.

If not meet ups, check what they offer at community centers in your area

I am not on Facebook but I do the same with groups dedicated to shows and movies as well as house decorating or politics or what not on Reddit. I know it’s more anonymous and not like Facebook but it’s a place to discuss topics that interest me

And don’t forget here too - there are games threads which are good fun on this forum too and you’ll be very welcome to join in.

Rose when was the last time you had actual formal diagnosis established. If you want complete change of meds or new meds added and your diagnosis was established long time ago, it might be a good idea (and likely recommended by your GP) to do complete re-diagnostics done. It could bring the same result as before but updated diagnosis might be needed for number of reasons including needing med adjustment.

As about meds, if you are on the right meds on a daily basis it might help to take the edge off throughout the day. It won’t cure it or stop it but it might make it manageable and you can function without needing benzos to have the immediate effect. It’s so highly addictive and dangerous that everyone is trying to avoid those, both prescribing and taking. You likely won’t get it prescribed.

I had one done a few years ago, my PCP requested it so that he could feel okay about prescribing my mental meds. Took about 2 hours. They kept me on what i was taking, but that was okay with me.

My husband just had a full re-diagnosis. It took several appointments and questionnaires that I had to fill up too and I went to one of the appointments. I felt it was pretty thorough. We then had to meet again to see how new meds work. But of course diagnosis is always the same but he needed new meds as it just didn’t feel like the old ones were working and then it’s been awhile since he was diagnosed. They had to make sure. Well these things don’t just go away.

His new pdoc also sent him to a neurologist to make sure there’s no other movement issues involved. Neurologist was funny. He took pictures and recorded him and this and that and that he concluded “yeah man you have Tourette’s”. Well yeah we know that. “It just flares up and it often gets worse with age”. No kidding Sherlock.

When my husband asked what is he supposed to do when it gets that bad? Neurologist said:” nothing. That’s what you have. Just live your life”. I don’t know why but we thought it was funny.

My GP is that way too. No nonsense. “Doc, what am I supposed to do with XYZ?” “Nothing. Just live your life”. Sometimes there is some wisdom in it

I wish there was more I could say. I understand how being alone can depress you. Do you have insurance for IP? If so, you could refer yourself for admission.

That horrid anxiety ended. I'm exhausted. I'll write more when I have the strength.

@divine1966 - your friend has similar interests to me. I had always wished I had gone in to treaching, but I became a nurse instead. I'ld like to try tutoring. I thought of joiningvthe Sierra Club because they go on interesting walks. I need to check out "Meet Ups," and I joined the community center. I just need to go and see what goes on there.

Do keep giving me good ideas. I'm a slow starter, but, once I do, I pick up steam.

Over the years, I've gotten an assortment of diagnoses. The process is far, far from scientific. One pdoc, who ran a partial hospitalization program I went to, developed a dislike of me. She then said my main probkem was Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Another pdoc said I had Bipolar Disorder.

Most, over the years said I had dysthymia. The DSM has dropped that as a disorder. One pdoc said I had Atypical Depression. That actually rang true to me.

I believe that mood disorders are generally driven by some personality disorder.

I no longer want Ativan, as I've come out of that horrid anxiety.

@Discombobulated - I am looking at threads like you describe. Also political/current affairs threads.

I don't nleed to go inpatient. I did that after my boyfrirnd died. It helped a lot because I was really considering suicide. Being around other people made all the difference.

I appreciate you posts. It helps just to feel understood.

I am glad you are feeling better. Better times to come

Yeah a friend of mine is actually retired lawyer and never worked with kids in any capacity. She thought she’d tutor adults and worried how she’d do with kids, but now working with a little boy she enjoys it so much.

Yeah some things are probably harder to diagnose. Especially if something comes and goes and isn’t always there. Yet some disorders are very obvious and symptoms are always there and no matter who’s diagnosing you, you’ll always get the same diagnosis because that’s what you have. It’s likely harder if symptoms come and go and vary.

It’s exciting you want to consider different social things. It’s great! Can’t wait to hear about your adventures

I felt very good yesterday. VERY good. I am on some kind of an upswing. I feel so hopeful that it's wonderful.

This is what happens to me sometimes, after a period of depression. I come out of it ready to take on all my challenges.

My primary is supposedly getting me referred to a pdoc. I'll take the appointment, but I now feel like I don't need it.

Thank you, everyone here. You have seen me through a miserable stretch of feeling so crushed down. How good I felt yesterday was like a miracle. I'm in bed now, waiting for my apartment to warm up. I just turned the furnace on. (I shut it down every night when I go to bed.) I'm deciding what to tackle today. This feels like an energy surge.

I hope you all feel your own energy surges and make whatever progress you need to make today.

@divine1966 - Your friend's story shows how you just never know. Sometimes the thing you feel doubtful of can work out beyond what you ever expected.

Tonight I want to return to that Al Anon meeting that I really liked last week. I have a bad tendency to start things and not follow through.

Hi Rose

How are you? Saw you went to Alanon. Those things you learn there are helpful in so many areas of life.

I really need to get out of the house. We were out on Sunday but I think I am a little anxious about not being able to get out this coming weekend as my spouse starts his job. I need to keep myself in the day I am in; much less anxiety that way. I could arrange transportation to the senior center for Monday. Have lunch and go to meditation group.

@Deejay14 - that sounds like a good plan for Monday. I'm going to try to get to my community center too.

I'm so much better now. Not depressed or anxious. Finally got all Christmas stuff put away. Now starting spring cleaning.

I went to Al-Anon again last evening. It's a small group of nice people. I need to add another activity.