[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Samicat

I'm not working right now (55 and between jobs) so I usually try to go back to bed and sleep some more. Like last night I was up from 5-7 but was able to sleep again from 7-10. I'm not always able to do that though, because sometimes I wake in the early morning and can't get back to sleep.

I don't find naps in the daytime helpful unfortunately

No, no. Of course naps aren’t helpful. This is why I asked you because I used to take naps and at night I couldn’t sleep. Now, I don’t take them. I was only trying to figure out why you couldn’t sleep at night.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Samicat

Can you try to suspend judgment of yourself? Nobody deserves to be judged - we are all fallible and have flaws.

It’s hard to break that circle. Very unfair but difficult.
One thing my psychologist told me turned a light for me.
“What are you getting from punishing yourself?” She wanted to mean what the deep down reason was to do this to myself. It helped.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I feel like I'm finally starting to make progress on my novel. I hope to finish the current chapter by the weekend, working on it after work every day. I booked the first week off in January, so over the holidays I will only have to work 2 out of 17 days, and I'm hopeful this may prove very productive if I focus on my writing throughout that time. Otherwise, every week is just a struggle to get to the weekend. When I successfully make it through the week I feel exhausted and I'm amazed I was able to make it to work every day without calling in sick.

What an interesting thing, create a novel? I admire people like you. YOU ROCK, GUY!!!!

[Samicat]

Sooooo sick of delays in getting me my money from former employer. 13 weeks and counting.


No, take your time - it's not like I have bills to pay. It's not like I have daily interest accumulating on my debt.

[hiddenaway]

Had some really weird dreams last night. Not bad ones; just weird.

[Rose76]

I feel so down. Kind of sad. Overcast, drizzly, gloomy day. I miss the warmer weather.

[hiddenaway]

I woke up from the dreams feeling dizzy and that feeling hasn't gone away.

[Samicat]

Playing telephone tag with my disability adjuster - it seems like he has not removed the hold on my payments even though I sent in the documentation he asked for -- and he may ask for more medical information. My psychiatrist retired so I no longer have an advocate. I am very intimidated to try and ask my GP to verify that I can't work right now due to mental and physical health issues. But I will jump through the hoops and try, at least, because otherwise I will have to use up my savings to live. Because I can't work right now. I have a mysterious lump/polyp that needs further investigation, and my mood has plunged since my physical symptoms have grown worse. My younger brother is fighting cancer and I'm scared I have it too.

[hiddenaway]

Not dizzy now, thankfully.

[Albatross2008]

Still having problems with my wrist, appointment later this morning.

[Rose76]

I'm getting scared that I'm not managing to pull out of this depressed mood. Something inside me doesn't care about anything. Maybe if I get out of the house. Maybe I can shake this or loosen the grip of this bad thing that has me ensnared.

I'm feeling a bit depressed and anxious. I have two check-ups coming up in the next couple of weeks - one for next Thursday and one for the following Tuesday. The one next Thursday is for the dermatologist and an annual physical exam from my primary the following Tuesday. I'll probably go to the Lab next Thursday after my dermatologist appointment for the annual exam on the following Tuesday. Having those things coming up are putting a damper in my spirits. I always worry about what could happen.

[3rd rock]

I had a good week, by my standards. I made it into work every day. On Thursday, I had a meeting to discuss disciplinary issues regarding the conduct of one of my union members. I'm a shop steward for our union and I often have such meetings. Usually I have to deal with an HR official who's extremely hostile and confrontational. It always makes me extremely anxious, although I'm usually able to work through it. This time, however, a new HR official was involved with the meeting, and the new official was very easygoing and friendly, a very nice guy who takes nothing personally and avoids confrontation wherever possible. I hope to have to deal with him again in the future, rather than the other official.

Recently I've been prescribed medication to reduce my blood pressure, which has been persistently high for some time now. It lowered my blood pressure, although not to within a healthy range. I've run out of the medication and I have an appointment to get some more next Thursday.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I feel so down. Kind of sad. Overcast, drizzly, gloomy day. I miss the warmer weather.

It happens to me the same. Weather changing for cooler affect me every single year.

[Albatross2008]

I got a lot done yesterday, along with my husband. I always feel somewhat better after accomplishing things. My wrist is still injured enough that I'm signed off work another two weeks, but the limit I can lift has gone up to 10 pounds. Still not enough at my job.

I got an early start, this morning, on my cleaning. I'm feeling down now because I was expecting a friend to come over for a visit and he cancelled. Nothing much will happen for the rest of the day that has any hint of excitement.

[Rose76]

I'm desperate to get out of this pit I wound up in. I have to stop giving up.

[Samicat]

Originally Posted by will19

I got an early start, this morning, on my cleaning. I'm feeling down now because I was expecting a friend to come over for a visit and he cancelled. Nothing much will happen for the rest of the day that has any hint of excitement.

I feel this. I have recently moved to an outlying community and lost a lot of social connection (was financially necessary though). When people cancel, it's a let down. I hope your day goes okay. Maybe you could treat yourself in some way.

A pretty busy day today. I made my spaghetti sauce this morning, like I always do every four weeks, and did some light stuff. In the afternoon my friend came to visit me. We had a pretty good time together. If my friend hadn't cancelled yesterday, I would have had him at my place yesterday and today; two days in a row, which is rare. All and all, it turned out to be a nice day for me.

[Rose76]

I feel bad.

[AzulOscuro]

I’m sorry, Rose. Wish I could say something to help you. I have ears if you want to talk, ok?

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I feel bad.

And now, Christmas is coming although there, in the States, it already began, didn’t it, guys?
This time is really complicate for many people for different reasons.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I’m sorry, Rose. Wish I could say something to help you. I have ears if you want to talk, ok?

Thank you. Right now all I can do is cry. Later I'll try to talk.

I went to the Lab early this morning so that I can have my results for the upcoming annual physical exam next week. It ended up not being done because I went to the receptionist and stated that my doctor made the order. The receptionist could not find my doctor's name for the order. Later on, the doctor's assistant told me that another doctor had made the order for me. The receptionist had told me that doctor's name, who made the order, but I didn't know who it was. So I'll go back there again to have it done.

Also I'm having a problem with a tooth. It's loose, so I may see the dentist tomorrow. It just happened recently.

It seemed like this year was a bumpy ride for me with a lot of setbacks and takeaways; and now, so far, it looks like this month is going to be a bang. I hope next year will be better.

[Samicat]

I turned 55 yesterday, which was hard. I did go out with my husband and some family, and will see a few friends later this week. But overall I was pretty depressed about getting old. I had hoped to retire early by this age, but to be financially comfortable I will need to work again. But right now I have health issues that need investigating first, so I'm in a weird kind of limbo and semi-retired. I do feel glad that I don't have to be working right now just to survive.

My birthday gift to myself was attending a local new-and-used bookstore and buying myself some books. I had donated many of my books away thinking we wouldn't have space for them in our new apartment, but we ended up having space and I miss having them (I have tons of e-books but it's just not the same as physical books that you can hold and display and lend out). So I ended up getting myself 5 books - 3 are used but in great condition. 4 are fiction and 1 is a copy of Marcus Aurelius' _Meditations_.