[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Very tired. I think it's mostly from being depressed. I got a call from a nearby hospital. They said my brother was there and in rough shape. I hadn't heard from him in years. So I went to the hospital. When I went into his room, he told me to "Go away." So I turned around and left. He wants nothing to do with me. Now I'm so tired. I think I feel exhausted emotionally.

I’m very you didn’t deserve to be treated this way

I'm feeling depressed and anxious now. I got my results late yesterday from the urine sample I took last week. It's mostly good, except there's one item that's concerning. I just sent a message to the Urologist. I have a Primary Care visit tomorrow and I'm feeling anxious about that also. I hope it will be alright. Between the doctor visits and the holidays, this is too much for me.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Rose76

No energy. No interest. I don't think I'm going to put my Xmas tree up. It's big and takes a lot of work.

It’s ok. You don’t have to put the big Christmas tree. You can always put a more little decoration this time, such as a glass bowl with glass balls.

[AzulOscuro]

I don’t have a lot of energy today and I don’t know why. Maybe, it’s this chilly weather and the cloudy ski.

Feel like going into my bed soon with my book to read.

[Buffy01]

I wish that I knew what is causing my depression

[Rose76]

I'm still not back to my normal self. I wonder if I ever will be.

[speckofdust]

Downs: Dealing with Insurance Company and friends not replying.

Ups: Did creative things, including working on my blog! https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite/blog

A pretty good day today so far. I went for a physical check up early this morning and was told I'm fine. So now, it's three down and no more to go for "Hell Week". I feel free and liberated now.

However, last night, I got a message from my brother-in-law saying my sister is in hospital because she had a fall and fractured her shoulder. I had called my sister late yesterday afternoon because she sent me Christmas presents and I wanted to let her know that I received it. When I her called at that time, I just left a message and didn't get a call back from her which I thought was strange. I don't know what's going to happen for her in the future because it seems like she's been having falls and breaking bone. She's up there in age and 3000 miles away from me.

[hiddenaway]

I think the reason I find that person's username offensive is that part of it is an autism joke and I don't find those jokes funny.

I wish there was a way I could tell them, 'Look, I really love this server, but I don't find the autism joke in your username funny. Please change it so I can have some peace of mind and not have to leave,' without sounding like a complete jerk.

I have been feeling alright today. However, I feel a little bit down that I haven't heard anything from my sister. I sent her a Christmas present, and last week when I spoke to her on the phone, she agreed to call me when she receives the package. I just looked at the tracking number and it got to her house on Monday (the same day I got my package from her). Like I stated earlier, I called her on Monday but she didn't answer and then it turned out that she got admitted to a hospital. So that's why she couldn't call me about my package to her. This puts a damper on me. I haven't called to inquire to what's going on but I don't want to be intrusive. It sucks when something like this happens and I get no update.

[hiddenaway]

I'm hormonal so pretty much everything is making me rage today.

[rjdb]

I have a noctornal work meeting now, will be up late. Work stresses me out so much.

[speckofdust]

Ups: It was a bright, sunshiny day. I got a lot accomplished, a neighbor was kind to me. Downs: Humans disappointed me, I had to spend money on more medical related items, I didn't get to do much that was joyful and creative.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by will19

I have been feeling alright today. However, I feel a little bit down that I haven't heard anything from my sister. I sent her a Christmas present, and last week when I spoke to her on the phone, she agreed to call me when she receives the package. I just looked at the tracking number and it got to her house on Monday (the same day I got my package from her). Like I stated earlier, I called her on Monday but she didn't answer and then it turned out that she got admitted to a hospital. So that's why she couldn't call me about my package to her. This puts a damper on me. I haven't called to inquire to what's going on but I don't want to be intrusive. It sucks when something like this happens and I get no update.

I hope your sister is recovering and will contact you soon. I don't think it would be intrusive for you to call her family to express your concern. But I understand that connecting with relatives can feel awkward when the relationship is not real close. I go thru that myself.

[Rose76]

Yesterday I got some things done, which eased my depression somewhat.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

It’s ok. You don’t have to put the big Christmas tree. You can always put a more little decoration this time, such as a glass bowl with glass balls.

That’s a great idea

[Rose76]

I improved yesterday, but not doing as good today. It feels like an uphill slog to get from one hour to the next. Keep wanting to rest.

It's early in the day here and pretty soon I'll start cleaning. Yesterday was a pretty bad day. I called my sister on Thursday; since she had a fall on Monday and broke her arm. She didn't sound good and she said she'd call me on Friday. She still hasn't called. That sucked.

And then last night, I got into an argument with my only friend; and he hung up on me. I got mad and sent him an email saying that I don't want to be friends with him anymore. He and I have been arguing a whole lot and he's hardly ever on my side on anything. I feel like a fool for hanging on to him. I've split up with many times before but then I ended up taking him back because something happened to make me feel sorry for him.

After that I couldn't sleep because there was a party at an apartment complex next door. There was a lot of yelling and screaming and it went on until midnight. Was all that yelling and screaming necessary? I was surprised that on one called the police.

[Buffy01]

I started feeling really awful yesterday

[Rose76]

I'm improving, but it's very slow. Not my better self yet.

[3rd rock]

I'm making slow but steady progress on my novel. I hope to have a first draft finished sometime before the summer of 2024. This may be unrealistic, but I'm hopeful nevertheless.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm improving, but it's very slow. Not my better self yet.

I understand you Rose. At least, you have the strength to post here when you feel down. It requires braveness. I do just the opposite. I only write here when there’s a period when I’m feeling stable and I feel strength to participate.

You, without even knowing, have being an inspiration for me. I also want to have the strength to write here when I’m struggling. I think it’s a way to show myself more genuine and show on a public board the whole of myself.
I tend to run away from people when I feel bad. I didn’t want to talk to people, I don’t reply to anybody.
Thank you, Rose.

[AzulOscuro]

One day I have the energy to follow a normal life, with my routines, doing or programming special things and the other day or a couple of days after, I don’t feel this energy and I only want to go into my bed.
I feel very guilty when I’m like this especially with my partner and my doggie Perla.

I have just said it to my partner and he asked me for not worrying and for going to bed if I needed it. He also told me that if I wanted to go there with him to living room is fine.

[Rose76]

I put up the xmas tree last evening. I have zero interest in decorating it. I'ld like to go back to bed and watch videos. I think something inside me broke.

[Buffy01]

I thought that working on my hidden anger might help with my depression