[Albatross2008]

Therapy session in a little over an hour.

I went to the Lab this morning and got my results. All good so far. I think there are still some items that are pending, so I'll get more either by tomorrow or Thursday. I made an appointment to see the dentist tomorrow morning. And there will the dermatologist on Thursday and a check up from my primary on Tuesday. This is such a big change for me with my routine. I prefer the old routine with no doctor appointments. Feeling anxious about the appointments.

[Rose76]

I failed again today to get anything done. I'll go start cleaning up in the kitchen now. Sometimes, just getting some things done turns the tide for me.

[Samicat]

Went for an ultrasound today so I'm glad that is done. I also need to get blood work done but they require an appointment so will have to go another day.


The doctor thinks I may have diverticulitis - which is bad but preferable to a cancer diagnosis so it does lift my spirits a bit.

[Samicat]

A woman from my live depression support group invited me to go for coffee - so I'm going to go. No expectations except for casual acquaintance but it was nice that she asked.

[hiddenaway]

Last night I had a nightmare that makes me not want to go to TPIR.

I dreamed I tried to slip Drew my number and got kicked out with no hope of returning to the show.

...and now my anxiety is making me feel like it would really happen that way if I did go.

Tired today because I didn't get much sleep, feeling like I'm in the Twilight Zone. I was too wound up about going to the Dermatologist today for a full-body skin check up. It all turned out fine and I'm happy. I worry a lot before going to doctors, so that's why I couldn't sleep well last night. Also, I got up at 5 AM to do the laundry, so that I can have it finished before the appointment.

Lately, the only friend I have has been acting a little bit strange and weird. When I talk to him I feel down and depressed.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Samicat

Can you try to suspend judgment of yourself? Nobody deserves to be judged - we are all fallible and have flaws.

good I’ll try

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I failed again today to get anything done. I'll go start cleaning up in the kitchen now. Sometimes, just getting some things done turns the tide for me.

Little by little. 💖💖💖

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Samicat

A woman from my live depression support group invited me to go for coffee - so I'm going to go. No expectations except for casual acquaintance but it was nice that she asked.

I wish you luck with your medical tests and with your appointment with that woman. 👍 Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.

[AzulOscuro]

I feel very well lately. I’m very active, very sure of what I want. I have a great amount of energy. I think this latter is because I follow a good sleep pattern.
I say no when I want to say no and say yes, when I want to say yes.
I control my impulses that can be harmful.
I don’t have any problem if I have to interact with somebody.
I’m not having a lot of problem with my menopause other than a little heats that control with soja.
I feel pretty even when I don’t wear make-up now.
What else can I say? I have it all and I feel gratitude for every single second of it.

My only sad moments are when I recall my little piece of heart (my doggie Miky) who is not gonna be with us this Christmas, for the first time since my angel arrived home.
Somehow, he’s gonna be with us because his ashes are in the best place in the living-roon. On the chimney, next to the Christmas three. On the chimney nearby he likes to lay on, on the carpet. I never forget this picture.

I’d like to share with you all a little of this peace I’m feeling.

[Samicat]

I'm so sick of not being able to sleep through the night. So annoying and distressing.

I hope the coming year resolves my health worries. I'm 55 and have invested a huge amount of time and effort over the years to eating very healthy food and exercising but I've dealt with some major stresses. My family are not long lived and I'm really hoping to avoid serious physical illness anytime soon. My husband is disabled and I am afraid of what would happen to him without me. My younger brother has already had cancer (he is still in treatment but luckily they caught it early).


too many worries....

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Samicat

I'm so sick of not being able to sleep through the night. So annoying and distressing.

I hope the coming year resolves my health worries. I'm 55 and have invested a huge amount of time and effort over the years to eating very healthy food and exercising but I've dealt with some major stresses. My family are not long lived and I'm really hoping to avoid serious physical illness anytime soon. My husband is disabled and I am afraid of what would happen to him without me. My younger brother has already had cancer (he is still in treatment but luckily they caught it early).


too many worries....

I’m sorry a lot. Too much.
Is it pain or stress and worry what don’t let you sleep a little more?

[hiddenaway]

More weird dreams but not about Drew this time, thankfully.

[LadyShadow]

Feeling okay today, but have no idea how my husband would react to me during the day.

[hiddenaway]

That awkward moment when you're part of an amazing discord server but you're considering leaving cause you find the admin's username offensive even though you shouldn't.

(I can't really just mute or block them cause what if I need help?)

[Rose76]

Very tired. I think it's mostly from being depressed. I got a call from a nearby hospital. They said my brother was there and in rough shape. I hadn't heard from him in years. So I went to the hospital. When I went into his room, he told me to "Go away." So I turned around and left. He wants nothing to do with me. Now I'm so tired. I think I feel exhausted emotionally.

[speckofdust]

I've been fortunate recently that depression has loosened its grip quite a bit. I don't know how long I'll feel "better," but I made a blog as a way to keep my metaphorical fire going. Maybe it will resonate with someone here. https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite

Originally Posted by Rose76

Very tired. I think it's mostly from being depressed. I got a call from a nearby hospital. They said my brother was there and in rough shape. I hadn't heard from him in years. So I went to the hospital. When I went into his room, he told me to "Go away." So I turned around and left. He wants nothing to do with me. Now I'm so tired. I think I feel exhausted emotionally.

I'm sorry to hear this. That's terrible with the way your brother was towards you. You seem like a nice, caring person; especially to go visit at a bad time for him. There goes your proof that family members are special.

It's early in the day, yet, so we'll see how this day unfolds. I got little things to do later on. I'm feeling like I'm in a funk because of hell week. It started last Wednesday and hopefully it should end by Tuesday. Last Wednesday I saw the dentist and it worked out OK. Thursday I saw the dermatologist and that went OK also. So now I have an annual physical exam on Tuesday. I'm always nervous and thinking the worst every time I have an appointment. So now it's two down and one to go for hell week.

Other than that, I recently complained to my apartment manager that some people are smoking close to the main entrance to the apartments. I hate to complain and I always feel guilty about doing it. I got a reply back saying that it's an area that's hard to enforce but she'll send notices out. She also told me that she can smell the cigarettes at her unit and doesn't like it. The manager had sent us notices about smoking and it's prohibited near the complex.

[LadyShadow]

On a really good feeling today. My husband is in a really good mood, which helps me feel good too. We made plans to go to a meeting tonight so that should be good too.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Very tired. I think it's mostly from being depressed. I got a call from a nearby hospital. They said my brother was there and in rough shape. I hadn't heard from him in years. So I went to the hospital. When I went into his room, he told me to "Go away." So I turned around and left. He wants nothing to do with me. Now I'm so tired. I think I feel exhausted emotionally.

It’s incredible that this may happen to you. After going to visit him. My god! What a horrible event!
It made me recall when I was taking care of my grandmother at the hospital and she was all the time yelling at me because according to her I wasn’t be of any help. Nurses even look at me as saying, how our patient could be yelling at her.
When my uncle arrived to stay with her I came back home crying and I took a long bath while crying because I didn’t want anyone at home to see me cry.

Then, when I became a patient, I saw my grandmother in myself and I understood that I’m also a bad patient. It could be also what is happening with your brother.
How is he going? Do you know it? Is it very serious?

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by will19

I'm sorry to hear this. That's terrible with the way your brother was towards you. You seem like a nice, caring person; especially to go visit at a bad time for him. There goes your proof that family members are special.

Thank you. It helps a lot to hear some kind words.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

It’s incredible that this may happen to you. After going to visit him. My god! What a horrible event!
It made me recall when I was taking care of my grandmother at the hospital and she was all the time yelling at me because according to her I wasn’t be of any help. Nurses even look at me as saying, how our patient could be yelling at her.
When my uncle arrived to stay with her I came back home crying and I took a long bath while crying because I didn’t want anyone at home to see me cry.

Then, when I became a patient, I saw my grandmother in myself and I understood that I’m also a bad patient. It could be also what is happening with your brother.
How is he going? Do you know it? Is it very serious?

He is recovering and should be okay. It wasn't a big shock for him to act as he did. I felt I had to make an attempt, but he's been like that toward me in the past. I won't try to see him again. He'll just get very angry. He's also given the staff a hard time. He's very hard to deal with . . . always mad at everyone.

[Rose76]

No energy. No interest. I don't think I'm going to put my Xmas tree up. It's big and takes a lot of work.