[Violetta75]

I slept in without taking an extra antidepressant. Maybe getting out my anger yelling in my car yesterday helped. At least I didn't do that in town. I feel like I'm wasting the day in bed, and I am. I'm waiting for my younger to get up to bring him a lock for his door. I think I'll just forgive myself today, I have a headache anyways.

[hiddenaway]

Feeling numb from yesterday's events but mostly okay.

I can't be mad at Drew, though, cause I love him far too much to leave him, so to speak. Plus I saw him's smile and forgot why I was unhappy.

[3rd rock]

Okay, so things are looking up. I got my nursing practitioner to fill out the required forms; she filled them out right in front of me, at times asking what I wanted her to write. And she even waived the fees they normally charge for paperwork! The next day, I met with the doctor at the local rapid access clinic. He was a very nice man who made the requested referrals. So I should be able to get into detox soon, perhaps in as little as a few days, depending on how long the waitlist is.

[Violetta75]

I cant sleep it's 1 am. So I'm here going to check through the forums. I cleaned today, didn't look for credit but mentioned it to the landlord, asked if he minded, i said I only did a bit. I did the downstairs. He just said ''i think i'll hire someone''... okkk......why pay, he was fine with me doing it before and said he liked how i cleaned. He kicked out the gf of over 5 months and i did figure he'd still be busy rooting her things out, that's why i didn't do a thorough cleaning.

I have no idea why I'm wide awake. I stopped ozempic for maybe 2 months idk, took it yesterday and i think it effects my medications.... it's taking longer for them to digest. My stomach is cramping. done whining

[salterfen]

Dunno where else I can put this.

Honestly I regret ever being born. I want to put everything I own, everything I have ever loved, on one big bonfire and watch it burn forever

[CANDC]

@salterfen welcome to MSF. I am sorry that you feel so low.

I once destroyed some things but it did not make the pain I felt go away.

Hope you get the support you are looking for.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

[AvidReader]

Things get worse and worse. My monthly insurance premium went up $400, and today I found out my rent will increase by $200. I'll be paying more than $1,000/month for a studio apartment in a small city in a Great Plains state! I can't downgrade any more. Life just does not seem worth it sometimes. Everything always seems to be such a struggle.

[AvidReader]

I'm not sure why someone reported my post. I did not express suicidal ideation.

Thanks so much for the "support." Now I know why I took such a long break.

BYE.

I cleaned this morning like I always do on Saturday mornings. Felt good cleaning but after lunch, utter dullness. I didn't go out because of a rainstorm. I think the storm didn't turn out as bad as forecasted which was good. It's drying up now.

[Rose76]

I'm doing better, since seeing the psychologist and a therapist. I started going to a yoga class. I have a sense of hope now.

[Buffy01]

I’ve been fighting my grief all weekend long.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm doing better, since seeing the psychologist and a therapist. I started going to a yoga class. I have a sense of hope now.

Great! 😀

[Buffy01]

I been journaling and and writing letters to those who have hurt me.

[Rose76]

I'm still doing pretty good. Depression hasn't returned. I easily get very short of breath. Today I went for lung function tests. I blamed my lack of energy on depression, but something physical may also be going on. It may be that diminished lung capacity has lowered my activity tolerance. Or . . . it may be that inactivity has lessened my respiratory capacity. It's like: Which came first - the egg or the chicken?

[3rd rock]

I have learned it will be 2-4 weeks before I can enter detox. This is extremely depressing as I'm having such a rough go of it that I feel like 2-4 weeks may as well be 2-4 years.

[AzulOscuro]

I’m now doing better. I’ve been out of here for a time because my other doggie also passed away.
You all can guess how hard it was all. Only five months between one passing and the other.
I have my heart broken But, little by little, I’m accepting the loss of the two more precious creatures on Earth.
You can see them on my avatar. They will live in my head and heart until I give my last breath.

[3rd rock]

On Wednesday I went to the rapid access clinic so I could avoid going to the emergency room, but the doctor at the rapid access clinic wound up sending me to the emergency room anyways. At least the doctor at the emergency room sent me home with some medication after treating me with a round of intravenous fluids.

[Rose76]

I'm kind of depressed today. Still in pajamas. The vacuum cleaner has been sitting in the middle of the living room for weeks. I don't know why I don't just turn it on and go over the carpeting. I have little motivation. I do get out of breath easily. My doctor thinks I may have a loss of lung capacity. I'm going for tests to see if that's true.

[LadyShadow]

Kind of an up and down day. Had a huge meltdown at work and broke down and called my husband, but it made me feel really good and I needed to hear his voice and let me know that everything would be okay. But, I feel really good right now talking to a friend and staying up way past my bedtime.

[Rose76]

Slipped into depression yesterday. Part of me wants to give up. Still in pajamas. Still in bed.

[Deejay14]

Do not give up Rose!!! Set a goal for tomorrow...maybe a small goal of just doing one minute of vaccing and putting it away so you don't trip

My laptop is not working and it's got me depressed. There are times when it works but only briefly after I turn it off and on a few times. It gives me false hopes at times. I plan on getting another one.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Do not give up Rose!!! Set a goal for tomorrow...maybe a small goal of just doing one minute of vaccing and putting it away so you don't trip

Thank you for the encouragement. I should try what you suggest.

[Rose76]

Sunday and Monday have been good days. I got stuff done. Large amount of laundry done. I'm back in the groove. Tomorrow morning will challenge me. All mornings do. I find it hard to get out of bed.

[LadyShadow]

Congratulations @Rose76 - remember to celebrate your victories when they come, doing a lot of laundry is a big one

I am definitely "Up" today even though I wonder where my husband is. I am starting to get over things slowly, but the heartbreak is a real thing. I am trying not to fall into the "If only" way of thinking.