[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I hear you. It’s very hard. I know it. Hope tomorrow you feel a little better.

Great Advice

It was a pretty busy day. That helps my depression. Other than that, nothing much else.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

Great Advice

Sorry. My apologises. I didn’t express myself well. It wasn’t a piece of advise. It was only a wish.
I know it’s hard. No way I was going to tell you that next day would be better. It was only a wish.
Kind of encouragement but I’m aware there’s no word that make you feel better. I know it.

[3rd rock]

I hate myself. I want to end my own life.

[3rd rock]

The only reason I haven't killed myself is my hope to avoid hurting my mother. As soon as she is dead. I will have no reason to avoid taking my own life. I estimate 30 years.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

The only reason I haven't killed myself is my hope to avoid hurting my mother. As soon as she is dead. I will have no reason to avoid taking my own life. I estimate 30 years.

Don’t do it. There’s always hope. As much as the things are going bad. I exactly thought the same a little more than half a year. Have hope. Talk to somebody when you have a little of energy.
Don’t lose faith. Little by little.
Give me a time because now I’m grieving and if you want we can chat a little via pm.
It must be very strong whatever you are going through. I’m sure and you are hopeless. Maybe another more try through meds, therapy, as I told you, talking to somebody. I know it’s not easy. It’s f@cking hard, folk. I know you now only see black clouds.

[unaluna]

In my case, the reason to off myself disappears after my mother died. Funny how that works.

[AzulOscuro]

This morning a lost a big piece of Heaven. The most beautiful piece of Heaven. He has a good and long life with us.
The most precious creature on Earth.
I only can say that I’m very sad and that I’m allowing myself to be that way the time I need. I try to take im little by little. Being very mindful as my psychologist taught me.

Te quiero mi amor.

[hiddenaway]

I cried yesterday. Today, I feel a bit better, although kinda numb.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

The only reason I haven't killed myself is my hope to avoid hurting my mother. As soon as she is dead. I will have no reason to avoid taking my own life. I estimate 30 years.

You have value. The universe required that you exist, and you are meant to be here. You have a right to be here. Most likely you've been dealt a bad hand, which does happen . . . and it's unfair. I hope you can find a way to alter your circumstances, so you can have some measure of satisfaction. Without that, life truly can seem like a burden not worth carrying. Some of history's finest persons have felt what you are expressing. On the other hand, really dreadful, horrible people seldom hate themselves.

[Rose76]

I'm still doing real well. I was just outside filling my bird feeders and watering my plants. I guess I it took a while for me to recover from my feelings being hurt by a family situation back in May. I didn't think I would recover . . . but I did. I always do, eventually. I must remember that the next time I feel wounded by something. I'm lucky. The lows are are dismal to go thru, but they don't last for a long time, though it can feel like they do.

[Albatross2008]

Sometimes I feel like the whole world has me on Ignore.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Arbie

Sometimes I feel like the whole world has me on Ignore.

Honestly, i didnt know how to take your posts about how to start a fight. They kinda put me off. But now you are starting to share more, and i am understanding and hearing you more.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

Sorry. My apologises. I didn’t express myself well. It wasn’t a piece of advise. It was only a wish.
I know it’s hard. No way I was going to tell you that next day would be better. It was only a wish.
Kind of encouragement but I’m aware there’s no word that make you feel better. I know it.

It was encouragement to me

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

The only reason I haven't killed myself is my hope to avoid hurting my mother. As soon as she is dead. I will have no reason to avoid taking my own life. I estimate 30 years.

I completely understand because I’ve been there myself. I lost my brother in law to suicide and watched two of my brothers attempt. It will matter if you aren’t here anymore.

[Rose76]

I'm still doing well. I almost took a nose dive earlier, but I pulled out of it. I've been cooking good meals and keeping my place neat and tidy. That's half the battle.

[hiddenaway]

Today I’m doing okay but yesterday I unintentionally saw something that triggered my tokophobia (fear of pregnancy/childbirth) and now I’m really, really wishing that fb had a filtering system so there’d be less chance of it happening again.

[emily1890]

struggling to find anything good about today, honestly

it's not even because I've had no sleep, but it's because once again, for the 50th million day in a row, I am doing absolutely nothing with my life

I feel like I'm stuck in the movie groundhog day and it's not a very nice version of it

[iscreamparty]

I just got out of the hospital and it's confirmed I have depression and a personality disorder. I'm just happy to have a name to put to my struggles. They put me on medication and it's helping some. But I feel weird being home now. Have to feed myself, remember to take my meds on my own, structure my days by myself, so on and so forth. And there's no magic lorazepam injection if I have a meltdown. They didn't even give me the pills because they don't trust me with benzodiazepines. I'm "as safe as I'll ever be" (as the doctor put it, she thinks I will always and forever be a risk to myself and others so it'd be pointless to keep me in the hospital until I'm "safe").I still feel like a turd. I know it's going to take a lot more than one hospitalization to fix depression and BPD, but at least I'm starting to get real help.

[Jedi67]

Started the day early. Took a shower! Came downstairs and took my psych meds and put some topical pain cream on my knee. Having a Gatorade now then some java and breakfast later. Going to listen to some spotify and read a while. My mood is okay but I'm a little agitated from my pain. I'll be using some coping techniques to deal. Not feeling terribly depressed or hypomanic.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm still doing well. I almost took a nose dive earlier, but I pulled out of it. I've been cooking good meals and keeping my place neat and tidy. That's half the battle.

So good, Rose. 😀 I’m happy for you. You DO it, you especially DO it possible. 👏👏👏

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by emily1890

struggling to find anything good about today, honestly

it's not even because I've had no sleep, but it's because once again, for the 50th million day in a row, I am doing absolutely nothing with my life

I feel like I'm stuck in the movie groundhog day and it's not a very nice version of it

Maybe you need that time. Another different thing is if you can afford it but definitely you need it to take strength to give steps forward. Do you see it as I do, as well?

[Jedi67]

I've had entire weeks go by like "Groundhog Day" I can relate. I try to break up my routine a bit after doing my morning basics. I'll listen to music, read, color, avoid news or anything that will affect my mood. I avoid social media also. I read affirmations too. It's hard but a little at a time. Hope you feel better. All the best!

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by iscreamparty

I just got out of the hospital and it's confirmed I have depression and a personality disorder. I'm just happy to have a name to put to my struggles. They put me on medication and it's helping some. But I feel weird being home now. Have to feed myself, remember to take my meds on my own, structure my days by myself, so on and so forth. And there's no magic lorazepam injection if I have a meltdown. They didn't even give me the pills because they don't trust me with benzodiazepines. I'm "as safe as I'll ever be" (as the doctor put it, she thinks I will always and forever be a risk to myself and others so it'd be pointless to keep me in the hospital until I'm "safe").I still feel like a turd. I know it's going to take a lot more than one hospitalization to fix depression and BPD, but at least I'm starting to get real help.

And what about therapy to fight your BDP disorder? Do they have a plan? I agree with you. It’s not relevant if I’m agree or not, but it’s a relief for many people to have a proper diagnosis.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Jedi67

I've had entire weeks go by like "Groundhog Day" I can relate. I try to break up my routine a bit after doing my morning basics. I'll listen to music, read, color, avoid news or anything that will affect my mood. I avoid social media also. I read affirmations too. It's hard but a little at a time. Hope you feel better. All the best!

Avoid news is sane and smart. 👍