[altonwoodsdrphil]

Oh noooo-body knows,the trouble's I've seen! first off, just look at my avatar, thats my real pic! I haven't worked in over a year for more than a week or so, my car was re-posessed a couple of months ago and I'm currently about 4 months behind on my mortgage. (forclosure soon) I can't go back to driving a truck because my former employer told lies about me to the driver advocacy council (D.A.C. who are "paid liars") and now even though they are lies no one will hire me. I live in an extremely remote area where there are no jobs (not even for a clown like me!) I recently spent 10 days in the county jail because I am poor and can't pay my child support for my 20 year old daughter who's in college and never talks to me. My wife is an LPN who cannot hold down a job because of her social anxiety issues,(among other things,there's a can of worms)..well,thats all I can think of right, OH wait, did I mention I'm flat broke and that my pastor had to give me 20.00 for gas money so I could come back to church? Sometimes I'm tempted to feel sorry for myself, or to be depressed,or angry,at times I'm also tempted to feel anxious about running out of gas on the road and being stranded,but you know what? I'm not...when a person has a deep faith in something bigger than themselves or bigger than "the world" a "thing" that you believe has a "positive regard" for you and that cares for you, the circumstances of this world seem very temporary and even can have great signifigance and meaning to us. During times of pain and personal hardship we learn stuff about who we are,who's in charge,and how we should go through life...I'm really thankful, despite my situation, for the relationships which have become much deeper, the life more meaningful, the peace,more prominent...I'm happier today than I've ever been! all I have to do is look in the mirror and laugh!

[altonwoodsdrphil]

sorry,but I forgot to mention my bursitis and bone spurs in my shoulders that have prevented me from getting a decent nights sleep since feburary of 06', bad back too..

[nowheretorun]

hang in there Phil, do you remember the Endurance Expedition of William Shackleton by any chance? Heroic preservation of a group of men stranded in the Antartic Circle.. ship busted apart by ice and blown around in fierce blizzards fighting starvation, mental illness, wild sea leopards and worse...

they made it out...

[altonwoodsdrphil]

also, I looked in the mirror this morning and found a red half circle looking mark on me, my wife say's it looks like ringworm...thanks NWTR, I'm much less concerned with what can cause by bodily death than I am about my spiritual death! or, that my present misfortunes or not fit to be compared with the glory that awaits! thats the point...His grace is sufficient for me. A very wise woman once told me that sometimes God takes everything away from us so that we can see that He's really all that we need! I think she was right.

[nowheretorun]

you speak from a place of self truth and evident care for others...

i think you should call the wise woman friend

[altonwoodsdrphil]

I do care for others, but it's not "my truth" it's THE truth...I didn't just make it up as i go along...My heart aches for suffering people who don't know the truth. It's not even my fight, don't you see? He is my victory,my redeemer and champion...SAVIOR!

[nowheretorun]

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...it's not "my truth" it's THE truth... It's not even my fight, don't you see? He is my victory,my redeemer and champion...SAVIOR!

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what i see is a man who has found a path to light from darkness and the path no doubt serves you well.. it is just not MY truth, it is yours and those others who believe in that path.. i will pray you truth serves you well Phil..

[altonwoodsdrphil]

Thanks NWTR, yes, it is working for me,and it can work for anyone! I noticed in the psych blog that the need for therapy is increasing lately, people are looking for answers! to suggest that truth is somehow "relevant" to each individual is like saying "my gas won't burn in your car"... it's gas isn't it? "but it's not MY gas" it turns "truth" into opinion, which is like trying to herd cats...that doesn't work, because it's ambiguous and uncertain which is the opposite of truth. people have a desperate need for truth, of authority, of guidance, of something that they can hold on to that doesn't change and is bigger than they're problems. consider this, If man was able to save himself...wouldn't he have done it by now? if he had the answers, (of himself) then why are we in the mess we're in? repeating behaviors that did'nt work then,and don't work now! (insanity) it's like saying, if evolution is true why are there still gorilla's? our present worldly situation is a result of the rejection of truth,and mans attempt's to confuse it and "relative-ise" it. that doesn't help people...only truth can do that, only truth can "set you free" from depression,and the other tormenters we all face.

[nowheretorun]

i respect your views Phil and your right to hold them.. i think bullying causes a lot of depression...

[I_WMD]

errrrrrrrmm ... I know I don' t have to see eye to eye with all peeps all the time ,, But if I may share something >> that may or may not help . True Story though :

There is a Picture of the religious variety of a bearded man kneeling at a large stone >> with a ray of golden yellow light shining upon his face ,,,,

One evening ,, in the pitches of the most darkest for my mind and the room I was sitting in .. [ not one iota of light was in that room ]...... That picture shined so bright that the room was lit up in a goldish yellow light ,, and I was able to see all around me at that moment .

I began to laugh and cry and rock ,, all at the same time .

My point is this .... Now whenever a strange calm envelopes me at a time of great stress or anxiousness ....

I KNOW At that Moment >> I not have to do anything ,,

.....................and all will be made right . >>

[Lenny]

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altonwoodsdrphil said:
only truth can do that, only truth can "set you free" from depression,and the other tormenters we all face.

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I'm sorry that you are experiencing these downturns Phil...it seems that sometimes cliche's are built upon the Truth you speak.."when it rains it pours"..

Some of what you share is very complex and Truth is seldom a simple matter.

I think the search for truth is what matters most. Like finding a quarter with a metal detector keeps you walking.

History is one of our greatest teachers and one of it's lessens is that Truth moves with the man who perceives it. On a mountain in Peru 1000 years ago you would have had quite an arguement upon you in trying to convince the Priest that sacraficing the young girl upon the stone was not in the best interest of his society. His passion equaled yours.

It is good sometimes that Truth moves even when so resisted..

IMHO.

Lenny

[fally]

I admire your strength. Knowing that we have some one up there loving and caring for us is what gets me through my depression and life. We know that it is the Truth and not just 'your truth'. Just keep on remembering that your piece and our piece lies with Him. And our prize awaits! Keep strong

[nowheretorun]

can we work with this one? the only Truth is change..

[nowheretorun]

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fally said:
I admire your strength. Knowing that we have some one up there loving and caring for us is what gets me through my depression and life. We know that it is the Truth and not just 'your truth'. Just keep on remembering that your piece and our piece lies with Him. And our prize awaits! Keep strong

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ive heard about this prize.. please tell me more?

[altonwoodsdrphil]

Many faiths talk about a reward in the afterlife. an eternal place of Joy where there is no sickness,death or tears. That sounds great to me! but do you know what sounds better to me? the mere notion that I could in this life be a servant to the one whom will welcome me home one day and say to me "well done my good and faithful servant" that will be my reward, at least at this point thats what I think...but I also think that I'm going to find that there's more than I in all of my obsessive compulsive,manic, fantasies could imagine awaiting me.the real prize is Him! here's the bonus...I don't have to die first, I know Him now,the only barriers between us are the ones I put in the way. I'm not special or different, but i can have something special and different than the rest of the world has...so can you!

[nowheretorun]

have this energy tonight and cant sleep Phil, thanks for keeping me company and the discussion is great!

well, if i think about it then, if i have this right, i believe in Him, and i get a special reward?

i like thinking that all things are sacred, created by a Something Very Powerful, and like you, i think thanks and graciousness and service are very important...

is there any hope for me? i feel pretty happy most days and only get depressed about the mistreatments that myself and others recieve at the hands of bullies... have you had any issues with bullies?

sorry about all the struggles you mentioned above.. if your God is like my God, you will be ok, no worries...

[altonwoodsdrphil]

be careful NWTR...or you may have to change your name from "nowheretorun" to "now here to run" the race set before me!...lol...at any rate, you're a fellow "truth seeker" and I think also a lover of the truth, so I'm sure that you'll find it, don't accept anything less than the truth that transforms you, thats the first law of truth...if it doesn't change you, it's powerless! I have never been bullied, but I do have confrontation issues...I try to avoid them, I'm the sort of person who's "shy" when you meet me....(for about 5 minutes) What has helped me deal with confrontation is understanding that it's only what we believe about ourselves that can be used against us.