Noone should listen to me

I'm crying, I'm cold, I'm SO lonely!
Why am I here? Why am I here!!?

(((((((((((((( molly )))))))))))))))))
All I have to offer is many hugs at this time, Please know that we all care very much for you.

To bring joy to others. To help others. To allow others to help you. To grow. To feel pain. To feel joy. To learn. To teach. To experience. To lead. To follow. To give your heart away. To have your heart broken. To walk a hard path. To find true love. To have pure joy. Remember: It'll be ok in the end...if it's not ok, it's not the end. I believe someone here has their signature as the same thing I have for my personal email: If you want to see the rainbow, you have to live through the rain.

You are here for all those reason listed above and more. When you are feeling so bad, list all of the positives that you've experienced in the past three months. Yep, I know, the past three months have been bad--really bad. But not all bad. I can list 5 --for you-- and I don't live your life.

One of things that people will terminal illness will tell you is that acceptance and true living in the face of death cannot happen until you stop asking why. If it can happen for people facing death, then the same is true for the rest of facing adversity and illness. You can be happy, you can move forward, you can put J's memory where it belongs--in a special place in your heart where you can pull it out and laugh and cry at some point--but only once you decide to use the tools that have been given to you (both physical, such as your medication, and emotional such as your inner strength and determination). Maybe the only answer to why is because these heartaches are shaping you for who you will be at the end of your life. Live it now, experience it and don't waste time wondering why.

csc, that was a very nice post. I do agree that life has its ups and downs, and that the downs must be there for a reason. I'm not religious (I'm not anti-religious, either), but I believe that the world is rational in one way or another, even though it may not seem like it.

silver_moon, it will be okay. It really will. I've had some rough times lately...not as rough as you by any stretch, but rough nonetheless. But when we don't know what to do, sometimes the best thing to do is to just keep on going. Things will turn around. You have many friends here happy to support you. It will get better. You'll see.

((((((((((silver_moon)))))))))))))))
you are here coz you are a very caring person giving help to others , even when you are strugling

you sound as you are in need of a warm fleecey blanket,



got to be a colour you like

your hugs are always appreciated gimme
marci... thank you I'm just stuck down that hole again and can't seem to drag myself out. To be honest, I wasn't thinking about J when I wrote that post either... I'm beginning to accept what's happened... not hurting any less, just accepting. Trying to keep reminding myself that I wouldn't be happy being with him in the long run (because of issues with his family, trying to think of other reasons too) now I am thinking about him. As much as it hurts I just need to block him out of my life.
Thank you digdug
Anyways, it's the being lonely that's hurting me most now... big part of depression in anyone I guess? I just miss having friends, miss having people to talk to, share things with, laugh with. I just don't understand. The hurt never goes away...

I'm so thankful for my friends on here... really would be struggling A LOT if I didn't have you guys.

thanks katheryn the deep red one on the bottom left looks cosy

Oh sweety, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to start you thinking about him. Please forgive me?

No it's ok, I think about him nearly all day every day
The loosing my boyfriend bit, I'm beginning to accept, I ddon't ant to be with someone who doesn't appreciate me anyway... but, loosing my best friend, that's the hardest bit because I'm never going to have a friend like him again.
Hiding all the photos etc is helping, but there are reminders I can never get rid of... music, films, places, times of year

*big deep breath* I'm trying so hard on trying to build new relationships (friendships).
I'm trying hard to get on with my life... like you said, I've had a lot of positive things lately. But, the depression never seems to get better, if anything worse because now I'm up and down like a yo yo.

((((((((((((((((((( everyone at pc ))))))))))))))))))))

Lots of hugs to get you through the day.

just had ANOTHER big blow... why does everything always have to get worse at the wrong times
I wish I could be sedated... put to sleep and never wake up the world is awful to me (well, at least the people in my IRL)
I want my cloud.....

Rest, sweety. I'll sit with you.

That's given me inspiration for a drawing.
I'm gonna sit in my cloud and draw now... if the tears go away.

nope can't do this too hard too hard too hard!!!

I thought I was coping with this J thing but I'm not



He was my best friend... I can't talk to anyone anymore! I've got noone to talk to even, nevermind talk to about the things I told him... I told him everything, there were no secrets, nothing... we didn't judge each other... he held me, and that time where I asked him to meet me to explain why hed broken up with me... he held me then, he said he loved me and I was his best friend and he still wanted that, We cuddled and held hands......
why did I ever go out with him why do I let myself care for other people so much

I can't breath the pain is too much.....

Molly...you met with him and he said he loved you and you're his best friend after he broke up with you?? I know it felt good to hear and it felt good to be held, but honesty honey, that is so manipulative on his part. Please don't mad at reading this, and if you are then please forgive me, but it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to date other people while he's away but he wants you standing by, too. Because he knows how much you love him, how vulnerable you are. How caring and loving and forgiving you are. If he still loves you and you still love him, why aren't you together?

((((((((((((((((( molly ))))))))))))))))))

i am so sorry its hurting, but its not true you have all of us that you can talk to , i am even in the same country as you,
feel fre to unload it all on us , but i am sorry as well staying friends with an ex doesnt allways turn out for the best, i promise you i know this from experiance, canstopcrying is write i am afraid

It hurts, but I needed to hear that. I know that but at times it just 'doesn't matter' because that's not the j i knew and none of it makes sense.

oh well..... todays another day, already woken up feeling horrendous again and I have to go to that course in 2 and a half hours and I really don't want to get up.
I'm so depressed.

((((((((furry paws))))))))

thank you katheryn, I do have you guys and I'm so grateful for that. I just feel bad sometimes about writing loads of gobble-de-gook that noone cares about. It's not the same as having someone irl either.

*big deep breath* better get on with 'today' then. That's another thing. I'm fed up of just 'coping' and trying to just 'get through' every day, I want to live.

maybe you could find some outdoor activities?