TRIG TRIG TRIG

Good morning everybody- It has been a while since I have posted, but I have been reading a little. I am just in one of my quiet modes.
It is official, I now am considered an outcast in my family, at least by some. My sister celebrated her 50th birthday the other day, and her kids planned a big surprise party for her. Everybody in the family was invited, except for the ones that are considered "The Bad" part of the family. The party was a week ago, and I am still waiting for my invitation. You see, I have two siblings that pretty much have decided that they don't want the rest of us as family members. I have two that live far away and we just don't see them very often, so it is hard to even know them anymore. Then there is the child molesting pri**.(hmm can you tell I was one of his victems). I have now joined the ranks. Gee could it be because I have a mental illness...Nah that can't be it, because every one of us is mentally ill. OHHH! It could be because I am the only one that gets treatment, and has been hospitalized. Oh well it is their loss, not mine. I have been fighting this battle with them since the first time I was hospitalized 6 years ago. That is when they told me "If you ever go in that hospital again, you will no longer be part of the family." Well it is about time for them to kick me out, I have been in 13 times now. Is there somewhere on this sight where I can put my entire family up for sale.

I do have one sister that I can lean on sometimes. That is who I heard all this from.

THE REST OF THIS IS A HUGE TRIGGER, SO STOP READING IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO CHILD ABUSE!



I found out some stuff about my a^^ho$# brother that molested everybody in my family. He is the oldest of us all, and the older that I get, the more I find out. I only remember bits and peices about my abuse, and the rest of my family doesn't talk much about it.
I don't even know how we got on the subject, but my sister told me a little bit more about how he used to molest my sisters, and how she would lay awake at n ight to protect the younger ones. Like I said, I only remember bits and peices about it, but it seems like the rest of the girls had it a lot worse than I ever did. I can't imagine, because I know what little bit he did to me, has done to me. I almost feel silly about feeling so upset with my abuse, compared to theirs.
The good thing is, he is out of all of our lives. Shortly after our mother's death, he was confronted about this crap, and nobody has heard from him since. My sister is friends with the PA here, and the PA did some investagating of her own when she learned of my family secret, and apparently where my brother was receiving mail, and his last known address, were vacant lots. It is like we all woke up from a horrible joint nightmare, and he was gone. He doesn't want to come back here, because everybody else will confront him, and trust me, my hubby collects guns, and has taught me how to use them all. Just kidding. I would never allow him to control me that way, and I sure as hell would not go to prision for him.
gosh do I sound like I need anger therapy????"?

Happier note, 10 months from yesterday, I leave to go to MAUII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No matter how messed up a family is there is still a grieving of losing what is supposed to be the greatest bond. Sure, put them up for sale or adoption and choose your now family. These people have their own paths and maybe they will cross yours again. For now, glad you are feeling strong and surviving.

well, you can pick your friends, but you sure can't pick your family seems to be very appropriate here.......i no longer speak to my brother because of his verbal abuse.....so, i understand a teensy bit about where you're at.......you can pick family members from all of the people who post here. may i be the eccentric old aunt who has too many cats and still wears polyester and makes the best and biggest hot rolls you've ever seen?????????////pat\\\\

Having a "family of choice" always sounds so lovely *in theory.* In reality, I find that it is not so easy to come from emotionally damaging experiences and attract the kind of people and relationships one wants, or even to respond appropriately to outstretched hands and hearts.

This relates back to ideas on developing self-esteem threads, rejection sensitivity threads, and others.

I have learned protective behaviors and subdue my emotions in ways that can make me seem distant, unfeeling, and even "intimidating" I've been told to others. Yes, we "can" create families for choice but it is not necessarily easy to find this love and support.

yay Maui! You totally deserve it after all you've been through