[shatteredmirror]

learning who all i am and having trouble with some not co-operating. how do i tame the rebellous, stuborn teenager to co-operate or the little girl? one keeps me from talking, the other fights by keeping me from remembering anything good i think about myself before i can voice it or write it down. been journeling a while now. but therapy is getting ready to be more intesnse. am scared. want it to work, tired of fighting, but parts of me won't help me out. any ideas PLEASE!!!

[misty]

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how do i tame the rebellous, stuborn teenager to co-operate or the little girl?

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Controlling is not the answer is what I am learning. Learning to work together seems to work the best.

[Zorah]

In my experience it`s too much to hope for them all to co-operate. Some will, some won`t. Sorry, not very helpful. Mine won`t all journal, for instance, &amp; atm none will, not even the one`s that can post.
I`m not saying that it`s always like that, only that it can be. Does your t think of merging you?

[Mahali]

The answer does not lie in controlling or taming. The answer does not lie in there is me and there is them. The answer lies in there is us.

one does not belong to the other.

How do you work with a teenager? You set reasonable limits and treat them with respect. Do you understand?

Skylrks is accurate. Everybody in your system is a human being. Treat them with respect and attempt to make them understand the need to cooperate for the benefit of the whole. All can learn this.

[fairygirl]

Hi,
Well I supposedly am an other so I don't know if this will help because I don't think of everyone as an us, but as a family. I think I have less trouble with things because of that. Pammie is 15 and yes I saw she posted here and I am sure she will be around, she used to be such a brat. I just treated her like I would treat anyone else and she is growing up I guess and acting better, she is still immature but a lot has improved. I do have trouble when I think I feel anger because Raven is anger and she kinda pushes me out of the way. Everyone has problems I know. Well, good luck with your "family" and keep posting

Fi

[shatteredmirror]

not sure what T wants to do, by the end of session, i'm usually not really capable of asking much of anything. i trust him enough though to go whichever way he does. i just want to be able to talk to him and not "forget" how to speak. i think of us as us. how do you set limits when they dont listen and you are not aware when they come out? i don't want any of them to "go away" they all of good qualities, even the rebellon sometimes is good (and fun). thanks

[RhysMadison]

Compromise & talking w/ them. They need to remember it's one body & they're actions affect all within.
Love,
RM

[Mahali]

The choice to "merge" is the systems not the therapists. Please remember this.

Cooperation takes time and patience. You need to continue to write and if possible talk to everybody there with you. Make sure the journal is where all will see it.
Keep reminding how important each person is to the system and how thier actions affect the whole. T should be able to help with everybody understanding this too.

The questions you have could maybe be written down before the session and then T could answer as appropriate.

I cannot stress writting and communication enough. We have written everyday for a very long time. Through this we learned to understand each other better and set rules and limits.

Take care.

place

[(JD)]

Do you think there might be some conflict because they all want their time with the doctor? Can the doctor tell them... collectively if necessary, and you can write in the journal for all to read, that they will be a schedule for each of you to have time to talk with the doctor, if they wish. If they agree, or at least show up, then that will give the doctor some time to impress upon them how important they are to the process, and how safe it can be, and also let them share what they want to.

Others are there for a reason, once they realize that there reason might be different now (not that they aren't needed, mind you) they will feel safer and not act out so much. It's their nature to act out in the effort to protect you, and all the others.

Another thought: if therapy is moving TOO FAST others will put the brakes on any way they can. Try slowing therapy down -this is your doctor's responsibility - and see if things calm down. Often slowing down allows you to cover more ground.

[fgh]

rebellous stubborn teenager golly gee wonder who that might be in our circles huh? have you ever just thought about asking her what she wants and why she's around? guess those in our circles already know why i'm around. they really don't want to hear it more. what are we supposed to cooperate about ?that's what i want to know. noone appreaciates what we do for the rest of you. you think we're here for our health? sorry i'm not feeling so hot myself today. maybe some other day jj drags me here k? nona