... don't know what to do.

I hate this.

I hate the fact that I KNOW I will keep going through this and I can't see what more I can do to change things. Feels like those who might be able to help don't want to help me. Losing confidence, losing everything. Maybe I'm just not worth helping? Maybe the length of psychotherapy I would need is just not worth it? I can't see where to turn and I am not sure I can keep going, knowing that if I every get out of this episode, the depression will keep returning.



I've tried (to the best of my ability) everything I can think of, everything which has been suggested.

Don't know what to do.

Caroline

(((((Caroline))))))
we understand and all we can offer is listening
Crystal, w_i and all

[tamzinrose]

I can listen too. I care. You're worth helping. I promise.

[Gemstone]

{{{{caroline}}}}}

[Fuzzybear]

I really am sorry you are getting so little "help" from those who are supposed and paid to help. I hope things get better soon
The health "service" over here is often like a sick joke and I am not laughing
(((((((((((((((((C)))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for listening.

I'm so tired of all this. So tired of feeling this way, so tired of fighting to sort myself out. Really doubting whether I ever will, and if not, why bother...?

Thank you tamzin. You are such an encouragement.

C

(((((((((Gem)))))))) thank you.

Caroline or whoever - don't know any more.

Thanks, fuzzy. I know you understand. I'm just so tired of fighting, and losing hope that things will ever change. I'm not sure I can keep fighting much longer.

C

[tamzinrose]

Well all I can do is encourage. I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough patch. *Superhugs* and *Fingers crossed* it'll be a little easier soon.

[LILITH]

I bet at any given time we all feel hopeless and helpless. I do a lot of the time. Some days I don't reconize the person in the mirror. I look down and don't see my own hands those are the days I feel it the most "I" think... I need more help than I can imagine.

[Mahali]

We continue to "bother" because we are wired to survive. If we were not then we would not be where we are. Alive and here.

It gets easier with time. It really does. There are still problems and struggles, sometimes it is hard. When I think back to how hard it used to be I can be thankfull for now.

I wish I could be clearer and more precise but I guess all I am trying to say is that you just can't base tomorrow on how you feel today. It is not an accurate predictor.

Take care and stay safe.

place

thank you lilith

Thank you, place.

I've been struggling with the depression for over 20 years now. It's hard to see a way out of the constant cycle. I need help, but when I say that I get asked "What do you want us to do?" Heck, if I knew that I could do it myself.



I understand what you say about it getting easier with time. To some extent taht is true - I do now recognise the signs earlier. But what gets harder is KNOWING that this will return again. It's like a life sentence, and that is hard to deal with. Hard for me to deal with, and harder to deal with the effect MY weakness has on those I love. That has got worse with time, not better. How do I hide how I am from my daughters? How do I help them to cope with the possibility of being like this? How do I help them so it doesn't happen to them? That just gets harder and much much worse with time. I can't help myself to not go through this - how on earth can I help them?

Sometimes I just feel they'd be better off without me.

C

[tamzinrose]

NOOO. They WOULD NOT be better off without you. They love you and you love them. You need each other.

[wisewoman]

Caroline, I am with Parker in that it gets better with time. I have a thought that I am not yet clear on but want to share anyway. What of changing ourselves? Re-invent who we are? Go deep to where your curious mind is and ask, what would I like to learn do, see? Maybe by doing so we can capture that feeling of wonder we once had buried somewhere. I am questioning too.

Thanks tamzin.

I'm not at the stage of being in danger of doing anything. Just need to acknowledge that the thought is there sometimes.

Caroline

Hi wisewoman

I think I know where you are coming from. Just not sure I am able to do this right now. The present is too present and places too many constraints. The thought is a good one and one which is familiar to me from life coaching but I'm not really where I can do anythign with it. Just getting by is enough for now. Thank you, though.

Caroline

[Fuzzybear]

thanks for that post ((((((((((((((((ww))))))))))))))))

[Lou_Pilder]

Caroline,
You wrote,[...don't know what to do...hate this...can't see what more I can do to change this...those who might..don't want....Loosing confidence..evrything...I'm..not worth...the length of psychotherapy..not worth it?...can't see where to turn...not sure...the depression will..return---...I've tried...don't know what to do...].
I could offer you support by PM if you would like or open to the forum at large. My perespective of depressison has some similar aspects as you describe here.
Lou

Thanks, Lou. I'm open to input, as ever. I'd be interested in hearing your experiences.

Talking things through with my pastor this afternoon helped a lot. I think it is important taht I am able to do that - it relieves the pressure, and he and his wife are excellent at encouraging me.

Caroline

[Lou_Pilder]

Caroline,
You wrote,[...Thanks, Lou...I'm open...interested in hearing...Talking..helped...relieves..pressure...encouraging...].
It is not often that one thanks me in a mental -health community, so thanks for the thanks.
There is a way to come out from the depression that you describe. I have experianced the depths of depression. But is it not darkest before the dawn?
Lou

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
is it not darkest before the dawn?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

So people say.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
There is a way to come out from the depression that you describe

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

And what is that?

C

[tamzinrose]

I'm glad you wouldn't do anything at this stage.

ty tamzin
I am too - I think! Yes, I am, most of the time. and when I am not it is as much a reflection of my emotional state.