[MoxieDoxie]

I have a serious problem being alone with nothing to do because I get flooded with thoughts (I am not saying voices because that is not what I hear) like for me to eat and throw up, like I want to be dead, like I want to be loved and held. I feel each thought belongs to a different personality. I can definitely feel a child part. I can even sit down and watch a TV or a movie because they are like whispers driving me mad. I have problems concentrating enough to study. I have to keep trying to distract by coming here or googling stuff.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

I have a serious problem being alone with nothing to do because I get flooded with thoughts (I am not saying voices because that is not what I hear) like for me to eat and throw up, like I want to be dead, like I want to be loved and held. I feel each thought belongs to a different personality. I can definitely feel a child part. I can even sit down and watch a TV or a movie because they are like whispers driving me mad. I have problems concentrating enough to study. I have to keep trying to distract by coming here or googling stuff.

Your title question is this the other parts thoughts I hear.... only you and your alters or you and your treatment providers can answer that...

before I was integrated what I would do was look at my wording. if I was thinking in "I" statements rather than thinking "Rainy wants..." "Thelma is thinking..." then I knew it was just normal or non DID/ Dissociative thoughts.

I call it telepathy myself...like reading the thoughts of others so to speak. I myself have many head voices of different tones, talks, wording.... I never hear in my ears

If I did, I’d call me psychotic.

I’m never alone...and we can sit on an empty room and be quite content because we talk and joke to each other.

We talk to each other in head...I figure that if I can hear them...they can hear me. I started with a simple “hello”....then Susie said hello back, I’m Susie...

That started my recognition of the Others and our communications.

It was like talking to a stranger. Sorry can’t be much more of a help. .

[TrailRunner14]

I’m not sure if this would be helpful but it’s what I do when I hear too much at one time.

I journal and it helps those parts to be heard. It’s something about actually writing on paper what they want know and how they are feeling.

I don’t try to edit it in any way. I just wrote what comes to me.

[MoxieDoxie]

How do I know if they are actual parts I am feeling or hearing? yes it does feel like telepathy.

What if it is just crazy negative thoughts as I always thought. I have one part saying lets eat everything and throw it up. One part saying lets send an email to T to get attention, one part yelling at me that I should be getting out of the house, one saying take a shower, one saying you are a fake a failure, one saying to gather what you need to end your life in the future. I can't shut the noise off.

I am not like Alwayschanging sitting joking with parts. I do however talk out issues with "them". Sometimes I forget and I am walking to my car talking like someone is standing next to me. Thank goodness for bluetooth as people just think I am talking to someone on the phone even though I do not have a bluetooth piece.

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

How do I know if they are actual parts I am feeling or hearing? yes it does feel like telepathy.

What if it is just crazy negative thoughts as I always thought. I have one part saying lets eat everything and throw it up. One part saying lets send an email to T to get attention, one part yelling at me that I should be getting out of the house, one saying take a shower, one saying you are a fake a failure, one saying to gather what you need to end your life in the future. I can't shut the noise off.

I am not like Alwayschanging sitting joking with parts. I do however talk out issues with "them". Sometimes I forget and I am walking to my car talking like someone is standing next to me. Thank goodness for bluetooth as people just think I am talking to someone on the phone even though I do not have a bluetooth piece.

It took awhile for us to embrace ourselves as a unit....everyone in you is just as upset as you are....which in it’s own right an OMG thing, but we talked and became somewhat friends because we all have exactly one thing in common regardless of the extreme differences- this body.

You must love yourselves, even the worse because they are your parts and needs hugs, to. Usually the worst parts quiets down and not react as bad when triggered...

Lol on the Bluetooth. Need to get an ear piece. I always finding myself doing a quick look around.

I figured since when I was a wee eons ago...other then psychosis, fever, or drug use...this is the only other way to hear voices that I know of. Studies are finding though that schizophrenics voices are turning to be that they are hearing their own voice on a low level by throat studies.

Acceptance is hard at first...but since you talk to them...then you know.

Our biggest issue is exposing our system like on the World Wide Web which works better than friends and family. Online we are like kindred...but at home we are just weird.

It’s always very unsettling to lay bare your soul because your world is geared to be hidden...like worse than exposing a raw nerve.

I figure that if I was a singleton, the only head voice that I would here is just my own.

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Your title question is this the other parts thoughts I hear.... only you and your alters or you and your treatment providers can answer that...

before I was integrated what I would do was look at my wording. if I was thinking in "I" statements rather than thinking "Rainy wants..." "Thelma is thinking..." then I knew it was just normal or non DID/ Dissociative thoughts.

Ok good. My parts do not have names. They have personalities and wants. So I do not say so and so wants this. I usually say "everyone stay in your damn corners while I see this client....please."

Then T has it wrong. I do not have OSDID. It is just normal stuff.

[MoxieDoxie]

This fits me better:
Type 1b DDNOS is people who do not quite meet the diagnostic criteria for DID — usually because they do not have amnesia between alters, or their alters/parts are not quite ‘separate’ enough to be classified as different identity states.

[MoxieDoxie]

https://information.pods-online.org....oes-it-matter/

This is a good website. Helps me feel like I am not so confused.

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

This fits me better:
Type 1b DDNOS is people who do not quite meet the diagnostic criteria for DID — usually because they do not have amnesia between alters, or their alters/parts are not quite ‘separate’ enough to be classified as different identity states.

Then, do you know what your other parts are thinking or feeling, like what makes them them? Most of my parts don’t have names because of our previous vow of silence...we got so many that we call most by the job they do like Angry One, Mechanic (cussing foo), Racer,....

They are separate like a stranger, can’t feel how they feel, no memories of what they say or do...

Here in the US...DDNOS is now OSDD...

Basically DID has 2 or more states of consciousness that controls the body and lives the day to day functions, sometimes bliss of the others.

OSDD has one state of consciousness but many emotional parts that have limited control and can present as pressure, body ache,...temp body control...

Only your T can diagnose you...

I like pods too

[MoxieDoxie]

I am in the US. My T says it does not matter what the diagnosis is he is treating the person in front of him. I call ******** because we were starting to do EMDR and he had to stop that and change it to mapping parts and integration. That style wont work unless I have a dissociative disorder.

Your T knows you better than I do. Maybe he can see what you can’t? I get accused of doing things that I don’t remember doing...so an outside observer is best.

And you are right, forget the diagnosis...and treat the illness. Just see where this goes...they might change their minds soon.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

How do I know if they are actual parts I am feeling or hearing? yes it does feel like telepathy.


What if it is just crazy negative thoughts as I always thought. I have one part saying lets eat everything and throw it up. One part saying lets send an email to T to get attention, one part yelling at me that I should be getting out of the house, one saying take a shower, one saying you are a fake a failure, one saying to gather what you need to end your life in the future. I can't shut the noise off.


I am not like Alwayschanging sitting joking with parts. I do however talk out issues with "them". Sometimes I forget and I am walking to my car talking like someone is standing next to me. Thank goodness for bluetooth as people just think I am talking to someone on the phone even though I do not have a bluetooth piece.

What you are describing is familiar in a way to me.

When I get in a tough place, it feels like all my parts have an opinion or want to try and calm the situation in their own way.

I have an analytical part that is truly scary to all the little parts of me. It wants to try and figure out how to sort everything out and make it right. That part of me is unrelenting in its search for an answer and peace. It disrupts my internal system until I can figure some way to calm it.

I just wanted to let you know that what you are describing is understandable to me. It’s distressing to me when I get in those places and I wish I could share with you a way to calm it that would work for you, that has worked for me.

Journaling has been very helpful for me. It’s not something that helps others, but my parts feel heard and validated when it’s written and there is weight and value to it.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

This fits me better:
Type 1b DDNOS is people who do not quite meet the diagnostic criteria for DID — usually because they do not have amnesia between alters, or their alters/parts are not quite ‘separate’ enough to be classified as different identity states.

your profile says you are in the USA.... just something I noticed in rereading this post....type 1b DDNOS is not something we have here in the USA.

converting this UK diagnosis to american .... DDNOS is called UDD (Unspecified Dissociative Disorder) here.

if you look in the american diagnostics you will find that this is...

as many are aware the Diagnostic label DDNOS has been eliminated from the DSM. DDNOS is now called ...

Unspecified Dissociative Disorder 300.15 (F44.9)

under this diagnostic label the DSM 5 states....

this category applies to presentations in which symptoms characteristic of dissociative disorder that cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning predominate but do not meet the full criteria for any of the disorders in the dissociative disorders diagnostic class. the Unspecified dissociative disorder category is used in situations in which the clinician chooses not to specify the reason that the criteria are not met for a specific dissociative disorder, and includes presentations for which there is insignificant information to make a more specific diagnosis (e.g. in emergency room settings)

like I said in another thread you might want to take into consideration your location when you are trying to diagnose what your problems are, other wise you may end up diagnosing your self with either a no longer existing mental disorder or the wrong one.

example if you went to your treatment provider and said I think I have DDNOS they would kind of look at you and ask when did you go to the ER since the last time you saw them and what did the ER people tell you. or they would ask you for the name of the treatment provider that diagnosed you with DDNOS to find out why they are not disclosing to you that you have something other than a dissociative disorder because of the change over to the new system in 2013.

please, please be careful in this trying to figure out where you fit in on diagnosis labels and things.

dont worry so much about what things are called and keep working on your integration process that your treatment provider is trying to do for and with you. thats what matters,

but if you feel you must continue to research please keep your location in mind so that you dont cause yourself more harm then good.

[Laurel1562]

I can't speak to what may be going on in your head, but for myself I keep my mind active, always. I feel intense anxiety if I do not. My therapist tried to teach me some mindfulness techniques, but I cannot tolerate sitting there with the mind unoccupied, just focusing on breathing (which actually makes me feel breathless). I kept my mind busy counting down from 100 to 0 over and over again. I became angry. I finally told him (at a later appointment) and he stopped trying to get me to do that stuff.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

How do I know if they are actual parts I am feeling or hearing? yes it does feel like telepathy.

What if it is just crazy negative thoughts as I always thought. I have one part saying lets eat everything and throw it up. One part saying lets send an email to T to get attention, one part yelling at me that I should be getting out of the house, one saying take a shower, one saying you are a fake a failure, one saying to gather what you need to end your life in the future. I can't shut the noise off.

I am not like Alwayschanging sitting joking with parts. I do however talk out issues with "them". Sometimes I forget and I am walking to my car talking like someone is standing next to me. Thank goodness for bluetooth as people just think I am talking to someone on the phone even though I do not have a bluetooth piece.

When my others talk to me it is just like a normal conversation with people except in my head. They always refer to themselves as "I", never in the third person or by naming themselves and they talk to me as "you". They might use a name to talk about a third party alter though.

There is arguing, like I might think to myself I need to make some dinner and a bunch of others might pipe up and argue about what they want instead.

Or I might be thinking about what to talk about at my therapy session and another will jump in and insist she doesn't want to go to therapy and thinks I am wasting my time by going too.

But they talk about themselves as "I" and in conversation with me refer to me as "you". A couple have told me their names but most don't. But generally its just like any normal conversation with outside people for me. I am me and they are them. We don't get confused about that!

[MoxieDoxie]

I always hear "we"...we need to make our plan if "we" need to kill ourselves. "We" are fat and ugly and do not deserve to be loved.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

I always hear "we"...we need to make our plan if "we" need to kill ourselves. "We" are fat and ugly and do not deserve to be loved.

Ahhh, yes, of course. We (me they us) also say "we" and refer to ourselves and our group or some subsection of it as "we". I was wrong in saying they "always" use "I".

Do your others also you "I" in relation to themselves? (Not that it means anything or a positive or negative answer will have any relevance, just curious).

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Ahhh, yes, of course. We (me they us) also say "we" and refer to ourselves and our group or some subsection of it as "we". I was wrong in saying they "always" use "I".

Do your others also you "I" in relation to themselves? (Not that it means anything or a positive or negative answer will have any relevance, just curious).

I have a few times in therapy said "we" instead of I. He did not even bat an eye over it.