[such is life...]

I get so mad when I loose time and I have to figure out what I have done, said,went,bought....I hate this stupid d.i.d!!!!! I hate all you wicked people that have done things to us that made us this way...I hate you all!!! You guys do stuff and no one polices you....If I did the things you have done I would be in jail.....I hate you people that have done this to us...to others I have met here in pc....We hate you!!!

[likewater]

Good job feeling your anger!! I'm mad that you were hurt so badly and have to deal with a condition that is not your fault. I understand exactly what you mean. I even got arrested with my disorder. It's hard and stigmatizing at times. Just hard as far as day
to day functioning , being disoriented, always a step behind. I feel like those that caused this should be at least paying for our treatment. But in my case there are statutes of limitations besides my main abuser is dirt poor. Dont even know what happened to
most the others. It certainly isnt fair. It doesnt even seem possible. The cruelty that people are capable of. Especially with children. One therapist told me about "radical acceptance." You take the impossible situation and just accept it - radically. I try to do that. But i still find it unbelievable, unacceptable and i'm angry too. Hugs.

[such is life...]

Originally Posted by likewater

Good job feeling your anger!! I'm mad that you were hurt so badly and have to deal with a condition that is not your fault. I understand exactly what you mean. I even got arrested with my disorder. It's hard and stigmatizing at times. Just hard as far as day
to day functioning , being disoriented, always a step behind. I feel like those that caused this should be at least paying for our treatment. But in my case there are statutes of limitations besides my main abuser is dirt poor. Dont even know what happened to
most the others. It certainly isnt fair. It doesnt even seem possible. The cruelty that people are capable of. Especially with children. One therapist told me about "radical acceptance." You take the impossible situation and just accept it - radically. I try to do that. But i still find it unbelievable, unacceptable and i'm angry too. Hugs.

((( likewater)))) thanks I am just now starting to" feel"feelings...we used to call them the "F" words,I am starting to remember stuff and it makes me so mad that these people have got away with what they did to us!!! I would like to get the biggest gun I can find and start blowing off heads ...but my t said that would be sinking to thier level she said the best revenge is a life well lived...and for the most part I am a very happy person. Yesterday at wk. I lost time and felt "called out" like every one I wk. with thinks I am the dittsyiest blonde ever...I would rather let them think that then to let them know that I dissociate at wk. Thanks again

[ImMentallyILL]

Dissociation is hell and ruined my life so I know why you have anger. I said things I didn't mean while dissociating that made people avoid me and want nothing to do with me. My dissociation has gotten so bad that days go by and I don't know what happened. People have to tell me things I did and I react in shock.

The people who caused our dissiocation are living their happy lives and get away with ruining our lives. I wish I could put the people responsible for this in my own version of saw like the movie, but no one survives and they all die slow painful deaths while I watch.

[likewater]

((((Such is life))) ((((i'm mentally ill))) i've imagined ripping their heads off. I have VERY violent fantasies. I could release all that rage and defend myself now the way i couldn't then. Usually there is no gun, no weapon. I want the satisfaction of killing them with my
bare hands. But sadly i do know this, they AREN'T living happy comfortable lives. They preyed on us because they are sick. It's not an excuse , but i KNOW their minds and souls and spririts arent happy, joyful and at peace. In my mom's case , she is severely sick. She is a special case. She has paranoid schizophenia. My pdoc says people with this dx are rarely homicidal or violent. My mom is just one of the few. For her i have a lot of pity mixed with the rage. She held me while her bfriend sa' d me and she also commited sa. Her creepy bfriends i have less pity for, but in my mind, i know their minds had to have been broken as well. Hugs to you both.

[such is life...]

[quote=ImMentallyILL;2350019]Dissociation is hell and ruined my life so I know why you have anger. I said things I didn't mean while dissociating that made people avoid me and want nothing to do with me. My dissociation has gotten so bad that days go by and I don't know what happened. People have to tell me things I did and I react in shock.

The people who caused our dissociation are living their happy lives and get away with ruining our lives. I wish I could put the people responsible for this in my own version of saw like the movie, but no one survives and they all die Thanks I'm glad I'm not the only one that wants to rip off their faces with my bare hands...I also wonder how their lives are while we are in therapy and my d.i.d was deliberately caused by the cult people....so I would not ever remember...they used programming on me....it makes me so pissed off but you know what I am starting to remember and I am talking about it...I AM HEALING....so in your face you stupid cult people!!!!

[such is life...]

Originally Posted by likewater

((((Such is life))) ((((i'm mentally ill))) i've imagined ripping their heads off. I have VERY violent fantasies. I could release all that rage and defend myself now the way i couldn't then. Usually there is no gun, no weapon. I want the satisfaction of killing them with my
bare hands. But sadly i do know this, they AREN'T living happy comfortable lives. They preyed on us because they are sick. It's not an excuse , but i KNOW their minds and souls and spririts arent happy, joyful and at peace. In my mom's case , she is severely sick. She is a special case. She has paranoid schizophenia. My pdoc says people with this dx are rarely homicidal or violent. My mom is just one of the few. For her i have a lot of pity mixed with the rage. She held me while her bfriend sa' d me and she also commited sa. Her creepy bfriends i have less pity for, but in my mind, i know their minds had to have been broken as well. Hugs to you (

((((likewater))))))and ((((i'm mentaly ill)))) I am sorry that you guys were hurt by creeps and sick twisted sicko's ; The more I am remembering the madder I get ....the sick twisted things they did and made me do...and the deliberate cause of my d.i.d and they used and are enforcing programming.....come on really????? Well like I told "i'm mentaly ill"... I am remembering and to hell with them I am talking and telling a trained t what was done..... hahahahah to you ***** holes I do feel better getting this anger out now because when we were little we could not express this anger... we could not fight back, no one was there to protect us I think maybe I am getting healthy because I can state and share my anger here where it and I am safe where I am understood, believed,validated, and listened too...Thank you likewater,and i'm mentaly ill.. thank you for letting me vent to scream out loud to get really angry....I needed this release Okay you guys have a great Friday hugs and thanks for listening to me Kim et all

[Crew]

Hey (((likewater))))

Since that is happening to you, get a composition book they are cheap and hard to tear out pages. Write down the things and appointments you have to do tomorrow and the times in which they need to be done. keep a pen around your neck or somewhere it won't be lost.

That USED to happen to me. It is very difficult I so get. After years of healing I still do this. Good luck and write it down.
Peace, Crew

[Bmee2]

Wish to write something but...thinking about anger...not want to be like those who did this yet...how did they get the way they are? Glad now that adaption to that lifestyle was impossible for us. Struggle still we do but...while terrified often, now we have a T that helps us be less scared. We even feel some....maybe love towards T...not sure...but something warm and comforting. Before it was all misery that changed all the time...physically, mentally, emotionally and over and over. Now there are some warm times.
Even some funny times.
Sorry this helps no one. Not sure what to say. Not sure what is trying to be said.

[such is life...]

Originally Posted by Bmee2

Wish to write something but...thinking about anger...not want to be like those who did this yet...how did they get the way they are? Glad now that adaption to that lifestyle was impossible for us. Struggle still we do but...while terrified often, now we have a T that helps us be less scared. We even feel some....maybe love towards T...not sure...but something warm and comforting. Before it was all misery that changed all the time...physically, mentally, emotionally and over and over. Now there are some warm times.
Even some funny times.
Sorry this helps no one. Not sure what to say. Not sure what is trying to be said.

Your okay I like when you write..you write what ever you want to write your doing good .Keep it up we are here for you. You are not alone Hugs