Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I spoke with T. He said I have a problem with All-or-Nothing thinking. Because I was being triggered and causing total confusion and panic, I thought it would be best to leave PC for awhile. It has been so totally confusing and horrible anxiety to the point of not being able to function these last few days. I can't see that it's mostly safe, when I'm triggered, nothing is safe - it's all bad. So, I need to learn how to find the gray area within things. So, I need to try and see the whole picture.

I don't want to leave here, even for a little while because you have all been so supportive and wonderful and caring. But, it's been so bad for me and I've had such bad thoughts. I think I was trying to move to fast and go into another forum that I wasn't ready for. I don't want to take away the littles means of expression. They were really starting to get comfortable.

I am going to try and ask that people be more judicial with the trigger icon - please. Everyone has been pretty good and I don't mean for everyone to change things for me - I'm nobody. But all of you are somebody and have been so caring - I'm not used to that. My childhood was really, really bad and things in my adulthood - well, just a continuation because I didn't know any different.

Please understand. I don't know how else to say this and I am really trying. I hope I have not offended anybody, I wasn't trying to. I'm just a dummy and I don't know, I just don't know. I just know that I don't want to leave but don't know how else to take care of myself. Good God, I need a pill.



Songbird and Daisy

Dearheart you are not alone with your confustion, we meaning everyone on the forum have experienced the fear and confustion that you are going through, as one with alters I understand, I'am asking you not to leave for ever if you need a break take it, you need to take care of you
Please return to us though
Angie

Of course you should stay! CBT helps greatly with those things, song... black and white thinking, catastrophizing etc. You'll find a sticky of Cognitive Distortions I think in the Psychotherapy forum. It takes hard work. Therapy is hard work. Don't leave PC just because you're having a hard time, it's just what you need for that!

I cast my vote. Stay.

To All The PC Family

Your comments and good wishes have touched my heart! As I wrote earlier, T wishes that I continue with PC because it has been good for me. I have great difficulties with All-or-Nothing Thinking - it's almost beyond my paradigm. But, I'm working on it. Anyway, I'm going to be more patient with myself, at least try. So, you might not get words, but you'll get hearts.

Thank you all for your love and support! This has been such a difficult time and I know it's not catastrophic, but sometimes it sure seems that way - know what I mean? I hope you all do.

Someone PM'ed me and suggested that this was a ploy for attention. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO - I would never do that. It was a true cry for help and you all came to my rescue and for that I can't thank you enough. That PMer really destabalized an already brittle system and I put them on ignore, but the damage has already been done. I just hope all of you understand where I was coming from.

I am hurting, it's starting to ease a little, just a little but at least that is something. I see T tonight and that is good. I can't "talk" anymore. Just know where I'm coming from and that all of you "saved my existence"



Songbird and Daisy and All The Seedling and the Little Butterfly with no name

((((((((((((((((SongBirdandDaisy)))))))))))))))))

I vote for you to stay....I think this forum is very supportive..
Lilith

Someone PM'ed me and suggested that this was a ploy for attention. That PMer really destabalized an already brittle system and I put them on ignore, but the damage has already been done.

Ouch. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Just when you needed support the most.

Don't let that chase you away, ok?

Petunia

I just got on this forum so you can't leave!
I think the support here is wonderful and I think you should stay. And YOU are somebody hon.
HUGS
Cher

((((((((((((((((((SongBirdandDaisy))))))))))))))))))

Stay. Don't let one rotten apple spoil the whole bunch!

Sweetie if we listen to all the negative stuff ppl pm there wouldn't be anyone here, PLEASE ignore them, Stay, Stay, Stay

Oh dear, I hope you take care of yourself AND I hope you stay. I take little breaks too. Get real selective, sorta triage my time here. Then, make myself leave before I fry. Good practice setting and keeping boundaries for myself. Keep breathing kiddo, come when you can.

[image]http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h133/iamanne/balloons.gif[/image] Hi Hillbunnyb It's great to see you again. [image]http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h133/iamanne/jumpingbird.gif[/image]
I'm still trying to figure out why it is that someone like me deserves to have boundaries. My T gave me a list of Assertive Rights and that says that I do have the right, but I'm still trying to figure out why it pertains to me. But, I did realize that I need to go slower and not let curiosity of a thread or post get the better of me.

I still have problems with knowing that I don't have to accept all that I read - no matter what the source. It's a conscious effort and progress is slow because it seems to be beyond my paradigm right now. But, I'm trying to set up a new belief system - it's just a process and I guess if I can accept that, then, some day, I will be okay.

PA Hugs to CA
Songbird and Daisy