My t wants to do play therapy

My t has asked me a few times if I will let the girls play. The mere mention of play engages me. Sometimes I feel like exploding. It is a feeling that comes on very fast. Sometimes I just snap at my t and say no. When my t asks me for an explanation I just feel angrier. Just now while home alone I started to ask about play therapy. The girls want to, but immediately my anger rushed in and said no. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I tried to talk to my anger but he ignores me. Right now he is mad that I am asking this.

exactly what is play therapy?

It is where the child alters get to chose a toy or play with toys during the therapy session. It is supposed to make them feel comfortable and ease the experience they will have in therapy. It makes sense and the girls want to but one of my angry alters absolutely says NO. So the girls don't come out during therapy. I think it would help them and us if they could talk with our t. Even if I wasn't there. There is so much stuff inside and it feels stuck. I feel stuck.

here in NY USA play therapy is a therapy technique where clients (adults and children) work out their problems through manipulating toys/roll playing/ manipulating sand, water in trays...stuffed animals, punching bags, puzzles, games...

example I had a problem where it involved my therapist roll playing the situation where she took the part of a friend of mine I was having the problem with and I took the part of being me. then we acted out the situation and possible solutions until I felt comfortable and ready to bring the issue up with the friend.

another example of play therapy sometimes I am so emotional about something to the point where I cant find the words and Im so charged with bottled up energy I need to do something to get rid of those emotions and energy. my therapist pulls out the punching clown (blow up clown that is weighted, you can punch kick hit this thing and it keep bouncing right back to upright position) then she has me show her whats going on with me with miniature toys, stuffed animals and other toys around her room,

Another example of play therapy with my therapist, sometimes I will be talking and need to do something with my hands. so I will walk over to the easel and start coloring /drawing or painting what Im talking about.

Sometimes my therapist will pull out her box of stuff and ask me a random question... where do you see yourself in 50 yrs.. or other topics like love, happiness, fantasies, dreams, what ever.

sometimes, my wife and I also use play therapy ie roll playing in our intimate times together

play therapy is just another way adults and children can use to express their self and what goes on in their minds.

if you google the words "play therapy for adults" you will have many many more examples of how adults use play to work out their problems, wishes, dreams, fantasies.

Would your angry alter listen to your therapist if she explained about the play therapy? Perhaps you could make an agreement that if trying play therapy starts to overwhelm anybody, you'll stop and talk about why it's becoming unpleasant and how you can fix the problem.

Our t does play therapy with us a lot. Of course, we play a lot just at home anyway. But with our t it has been sooooo helpful (& fun).

This anger one has been at therapy in the past. He does not have conversations. He says NO loud in my head and if that don't work he will say NO loud and short to my therapist. He is angry and can be aggressive. Most times if he starts to boil over I will get up and go into the bathroom and let him calm down. Or I will end the session because I don't think I can calm him down. He doesn't talk much, but he is filled with feelings of anger. He has expressed himself in the past (out side of therapy)by smashing things, punching things. I am just not sure how far he could go in therapy.

I we don't play children's games. I do have someone who is young and likes to catch frogs and turtles, She just loves the outdoors. But even she doesn't play with toys or games. It is just something she has never asked to do.

I want to play so bad...

Play !!! It's fun

I don't think so.

Sorry...about this post. I don't usually do stuff like this.

Don't mind him he doesn't like to play. I am glade you like to play.

Yeah!!!!

the angry one sounds like my mom. she is always mad, at least with me. I see her be nice with other kids, like grandkids, and it always surprises me, because she could never be nice and play with me, and I could never play around her. that's what this sounds like to me. I always had to be a grown-up around her. even now, if I act like a kid or playful, she gets mad and thinks I am "slow". she's just mad all the time, period. i'm a comedian, btw. thanks for this post.

Play therapy will certainly help the youngsters in you, maybe an internal meeting with the angry one and littles (or a littles rep if they are too scared to confront angry one) where things can be thrashed out as to why angry doesn't want it and why the littles do, maybe giving angry the option to opt out whilst the littles play. perhapse you could ask the therapist what kind of toys the littles would be playing with, then get a few for home and gently introduce them so angry sees them as less of a threat.
not sure if that helps but it is what i would do if i had such conflict going on.

This sounds like a good idea I will mention it to my t. The angry one is afraid for some reason when the thought of playing is brought up. He knows he will not be playing but he absolutely doesn't want anyone else playing. I don't know why. I have asked him but he does not have a conversation with me. He says what he wants and doesn't explain why. It might be because it is me that is asking. I don't know but usually I am the one at therapy when the issue of playing is brought up. I don't know if he would explain his objection to another. I will try to work this out in my head. Thanks

I am mostly scared to play...but some parts love to play. I could not 'play' as a child because of the need to be hyper vigilant.

[quote=healinghearts;2685749]I am mostly scared to play...but some parts love to play. I could not 'play' as a child because of the need to be hyper vigilant.[/quote
I was able to play but mostly outside the house. I remember some playing but not a lot. But outside I was able to climb trees, play with other kids, be alone if I wanted. I always felt safe outside. Inside was dangerious.

Me too! I played in my treehouse and outside a lot . From my tree house I could observe what was happening inside and decide if it was safe or not.

you may find you don't remember playing indoors much because something you have burried deeply inside you happened when you were playing inside and angry one is the only one who remembers/still fears it. it scares him so much or he doesn't want to scare the resy of you that he can not explain why playing is a definite no, it just is. maybe let him come out and talk to your T where she can ask him about it, he may or may not feel ok telling her but it's worth a try.
it could also be as simple as you never were allowed to play much indoors or simply that angry one is a grown up and believes playing is for kids not grown ups, he may be scared it will take him back to childhood and bad memories or even that by playing he is giving permission to be dominated like a parent does with a child... who knows, but a few things to think about.

He is scared and has told our t that he will not go back there. And he is very very serious.

Sorry he is so scared. We understand. We will sit and wait. It is ok.

Hugs to angry one,

Claritytoo, take time on a daily basis to internally converse and reassure angry one, it seems to me he appears angry because he is scared and the only way he knows to express his fears are to angrily say no, he needs your support and mega amounts of love and reassurance that he is safe and that you will not let anything bad ever happen to him. Ask him if there is anything that will reassure him or give him more confidence, if he lets you know anything then run with it to reassure him that you are listening and want the very best for him, once he realises this he should possibly be more at ease and receptiive to allowing the littles to play

he is scared of what will come out if he goes back to your t, reliving a bad memory and all the emotions that go with it is a very scary thought much more so if the bad memory was the worst of your life. he needs reassuring that it is ok if he doesn't want to go back to t, he can stay safely inside, but the littles / other alters do want to go back, and when you do go back they will not make him come out and that t is a safe place where no one can hurt him if ever he does decide for himself to appear.

good luck and be kind to Angry one

another way of tackling this could be by setting time aside each evening, say half an hour when it is ok/safe for angry one to come out and thump hxxl out of a pillow or throw stones in the river .... or whatever you set as ok ways of expressing his anger. make sure he understands the boundries and that his 'special' time will not happen if he does not stick to your ground rules. it could be and probably is something he needs to work through and calming him down with no set time to release the anger is like caging a wild animal.. it is wilder when eventually released! you may find it is hard at first but as he releases it the sessions will get easier and eventually even may not be needed.