I do not belong here anymore.

I realized with a bit of help from my crazy psychologist that my "alters" are just the seeds of my psychosis. I've faked everything to hide the fact of how lonely I am. I created Waidth because I didn't have a father. Created Carolinae because I am unstable in relationships. Created Vladimir because I never have had a friend. Created Evee because I am unstable. Created Annie.. because my hamster died and because I am the worst pet owner. I am sorry that I have lied but along side lying to you I've lied to myself and to my only friend who I have now lost for probably forever. It was nice knowing you but I do not belong here. Therefore this is my goodbye to this forum.

It's ok. We all have one reason or another for being on a particular forum so don't feel bad about it. Take care of yourself. It will work it's self out.

what matters to me isnt that you lied and I'm sorry you feel you need to say good bye to this forum.

what matters to me is that you now have answers. its been a long road for you in trying to figure out what was going on for you, now you have your answers and can move forwards.

btw dont be too hard on yourself. sometimes psychosis does tell us misleading things that can result in things like misdiagnosing one self, jumping to conclusions and trying to fit in where psychosis tells us rather than whats really going on.

I am glad that you and your psychologist now knows whats going on in you so that you can now get the treatment to help you feel better soon.

we'll miss you if you decide not to post here anymore.

eventually it's all up to you- i'm glad you have answers, and if you feel that moving on to another section is better for you, that's okay

but it would be cool if you checked in here now and again

you dont have do disapear, we can help little bit each other...
even if just on another sub forum..

Hey hi, I admire you.

I tried to apply the "I created..." to me and really was hoping. Like, do your creations take over? I mean I've read your posts and like, are they their own persons?

Do you have to fight for control to be?

Do you like have a really bad memory?

Do you like have no control over what you do or say....like just a watcher?

Does time seem to be like full of holes?

I've taken anti-psychotic meds and they don't work cause I'm so allergic to them....do they work for you?

Please help.. THANK YOU.

I think it is just me pretending to be someone else. Depression taught me how to lie and pretend I am okay, so it was easy for me to be someone else.
The only bad memory that I remember would be being bullied and going to self-harm.
Sometimes my words go out before my thoughts but other than that I have full control except the few nervous ticks here and there.
Time is ruined for me. Firstly I do not even remember anything before the 2010. Then I have this thing where the hours pass by super fast, the days slow, weeks slow and months and years go by fast.
I think for now they do not work like they are supposed to, I have been told to give them some time so that is what I am doing. But for now they only work as sleeping pills I didn't think they would knock me out as much and I only drink the half of a 15mg but hopefully I will get used to the side effect and move pass it.
Hope I was of any help.

Through the decades I have met many people who have suffered terribly with depression, and a handful of people with psychosis. 100% of the time a bit of me identified with the people who were depressed. 0% of the time did I identify with the people in psychosis - although I was able to understand their world once they let me in. I identify with your posts here a lot - I would say that most of me identifies with your posts in their entirety probably 72% of the time. Thats a massive hit rate in my world!

Im being treated for many things - SH, Sui I, anxiety etc But right there up there - Im being treated for my Dissociative States. I am not being treated for depression or psychosis. That, along with your post - which sounds a little like you're quoting something someone has told you? To me, and my completely untrained, unqualified brains - we think you absolutely belong here.

To be honest I wrote that while in a psychotic episode. I don't know where I posted about my crazy psychologist that thinks that a person cannot have more than 2 identities and started brainwashing me that they are just people who died and couldn't find another body so they all came in this one.I am kind of regretting posting the whole thing. Be it if I have DID or some kind of a personality disorder, I have something. Because I know through pictures and mother that in the past I acted very very different than now. So weather I am really alone or no, some kind of identity switch had to be there. There were videos of me being camera shy and not being able to perform while now I live on stage. I go to choir, I danced and I acted. I don't know, maybe it is just puberty hitting me but there was a personality changed for sure. And even now with my gender, I identify as gender-queer, past me identified as female (again from pictures and videos, I seemed a lot more comfortable with my body, not like now. I do not know what is going on, but for now I will focus on treating my Bipolar and after that I will move on to someone with whom I can talk about that issue and hopefully they believe in DID and personality disorders. Or maybe when the anti-psychotic starts working and I am psychosis free everything will come to normalization. We will see.

(((SCAR))) you dont have to go!! Even if your alters are not DID related they are still important as a way of describing your feeling and problems. It doesnt matter to us if u have 1 or a million ppl floating around upstairs. You are loved and valued here!

Our identities are created for a reason. I have Bossygirl bc she's like my sister. Lily expresses anger and kicks butt. In a way, I created them, but they are all parts of me. It doesn't mean I'm a liar. I think you need a professional that specializes in trauma and DID. I had one that diagnosed me as schizophrenic and really messed me up and made me feel hopeless and crazy. If you have DID and go to a professional that doesn't believe in it, it's hurtful.