yesterday we had a form to fill in.

sadly none of us actually wanted to fill it in, but 1 of us eventually decided she would and put all the relevant information in the right places.

it's stuff none of us others will even talk about, so we can forget writing it

but she ultimately did us a favor by being honest and open

feeling pretty isolated and invisible. sort of sucks

we were meant to try a new takeout place yesterday, but we couldn't decide on what to order so we just didn't bother

stacy decided now we should have 1 of the smaller meal deals so we'll try it tonight.

[woods girl]

Having a few calm days. Switching as usual but no major drama. A nice change!

didn't order from the takeout place again, (this time because we just thought how wrong it was to order chicken on pizza night), and so, what we did, is, well, order pizza. lol. next best thing

had a calm/quiet evening, and we are still in that frame of mind (we actually spent 3 hours today watching the grand with no interuptions. that's rare!)

woods girl, glad things are going well for you

[magicalprince]

I think my dissociative barriers have come down to fast. My body is falling apart lately from stress and idk what to do

had a bit of a tummy ache today (I don't suppose we should be complaining, we did binge a lot yesterday)

but it's going away now and we are feeling better

random observation of the day: isn't it weird when you have a tummy ache (or a head ache), or any kind of ache- you can't be bothered to do anything- even if the part of your body required to do the task is fine?

we also overcame our shyness about a question and posted on the forum, " what is it like to be hugged?"

we've just always wanted to know and thankfully people are being nice about it

[Luce]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

we also overcame our shyness about a question and posted on the forum, " what is it like to be hugged?"

we've just always wanted to know and thankfully people are being nice about it

I 'm sorry you don't know what it is like. Our t used to hug me and some friends did too but it was always much better from t. One day you will know what it is like.

calm, but suicidal

I think i said it yesterday somewhere.. being at a dead end in life sucks

[-Astral-]

what or who am i ?
am i dead ?
Angel talks to me
black cat

WHAT AM I ?

Wore down, haunted, wanna/can't quit...alone....counting the minutes as they pass....time jump....slow down...

how we are in 3 words:

sick of life

I wish something good, or normal, would happen to us that does not cause stress or anger, or time loss, or something like that

[Luce]

I am grumpy.

[lucidity11]

"A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number."

I didn't read the entire number. lol

Originally Posted by Luce

I 'm sorry you don't know what it is like. Our t used to hug me and some friends did too but it was always much better from t. One day you will know what it is like.

1 day, luce, we will all know what peace and joy is like.

yes, 1 day...

difficult night yesterday.

lots of helusinations and stuff (it was horrible!)

we are glad it's over

and yes, still suicidal

[lucidity11]

The last time I was truly suicidal was several years ago. I was working and during work I was having severe panic attacks. Over and over again. At the time I didn't know they were panic attacks. I just thought I was losing my mind. Sitting in my car curled up in a ball listening to a train passing I asked god to save me from myself. I ended up seeing a psychologist who told me I was having panic attacks and not losing my mind. I started anxiety and antidepressant meds which helped a little. But I was still having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. I just couldn't figure out the point of my existence. I kept thinking I needed to get somewhere. After spending sometime reading philosophy, in particular Camus, and taking with my psychologist I realized I didn't need to get anywhere. That the point to my existence was to learn. That's it. To learn, to live and to be grateful for the opportunity while I have it. So even through the discovery of being DID and hardship in my life I keep moving. Right now I am grateful for my life and the good things about living. so far, have accepted the hardships as part of my life, but they do not define my life. I am more than my hardships.

not sure...

good, but bad.

we're not upset or anything, but most of the time today we don't even know who's typing (very confusing)

the last email we sent looked well confusing for us, so good luck to the person who we sent it too.

turns out the person ignored the "us", and "we," and all that stuff. think they thought everything was normal

(you know we actually hate that?), a "hi all", or something would have at least made us understand they were aware of our condition

not bad today. found 2 new tv series to watch (and not triggering ones either, result!)

and just chilling

We are just plugging away like usual freaking out in private...the world spins too fast...

[woods girl]

Trying so hard to stay calm, but it's been a rough day and even my T is fed up with me...

[Luce]

I can't do any study work because someone little is crying and terrified. I am fine - I feel fine. But someone here obviously does not.
I have an overwhelming amount of study to get done over the next ten weeks (so much that even with working on it for several hours a night I will not be able to get it all done) but I still can't do *any* of it because ?? some one little is scared of something??
How am I gonna stop this sh**?

back to feeling depressed

suicidal..

but we're not going to do anything, because we promised someone that we wouldn't

we cut our arm yesterday

feeling hopeless

10 30 in the morning and we're not even dressed.

plus we did **** all with our day yesterday, wonder why we bothered being alive at all?

I watch the dreams of Others....and I feel like I barely slept all week.