Originally Posted by raging vortex

AC2... I thought you'd quit facebook anyway

or maybe I read your other post wrong.

or looked too far in to it..

Yeah...uh...I quit all the news and political crap. I got a few bipolar and DID groups I check in on.

Last night I slept like crap. Parts kept talking and upset over buying a new car, interrupting my dreaming and keeping me awake.

I swear, they can’t enjoy anything for what it is. Fear of commitment, what if’s, feelings of unworthiness, panic: please give me a break already.

It’s a good thing, it means that we can and have matured as a group...or at least some of us has.

on wednesday evening I think it was (yeah, wednesday evening), I had a really rough time with flashbacks and memories. it was my fault, I guess, I should have known when to stop, but it was a hard night and I felt trapped.

yesterday was just a blah day... " yeah, I'm here, I'm alive, so what?" that kind of thing.

today is slightly better, and I did manage to get out for a bit this morning to the park while my anxiety is on a good level

anxiety quite high today (over some financial stuff), depression quite bad too
managed to read some more of my book.. that's it so far

Kinda dismayed at the little, rectangular and red use to be burn marks now hyperpigmentation covering my entire body in rows like a checker board. We set the IPL on high on a good drinking night and zapped away. So much for wearing shorts outside in the daytime (I wish it was winter).

[TrailRunner14]

Today I want to run away.

Just get in the car and leave.

I have no idea where I would go.

Away!!

having a tough time of it this afternoon/ evening

so had a seizure this afternoon (which was completely unexpected, I was feeling just fine), and now... now I'm struggling with ****ing flashbacks!. I posted a thread about it.... check it out...

Bought a 2017 impala, a real nice car with leather interior. Now I’m covered head to toe with drywall dust and caulk and texture and crap and ain’t setting a foot behind the wheel.

Now I remember why I wanted a work truck- why couldn’t I remember what and why I really wanted....not this car, and I keep hearing we tried to tell you so...wha???

Why do I feel like my brain is imagining this for? No one tried. I was bamboozled and tricked.

Anyways, luckily I’m in the company van at my apt complex so that I can shower first then go get it.

I’m still going to have to buy a truck to work in. So much for practicality.

so yesterday night was rough.

not as rough as I braced myself for (but best to be prepared), but things were still rough.

family annoying this morning on email, just trying to ignore their pointless threats though

quiet day with the acception of cooking my dinner later

tummy ache too

not sure where it's coming from.. I mean no obvious causes like overeating

[dlantern]

TRIGGER WARNING.....



Getting ready for a new psyc evaul and therapy eventing...So not looking forward to those just wanting to affirm the post code envy of those in less diserable town all cause we aren't all out charge on social media. Yea, the hate and attack on media music and other things that makes us normal and undetecable that folks are in here wondering if we are actual going to acknowledge....WE DESERVE YOUR ULTIMATE ESTEEM AND THANKS FOR STAYING OUT YALL'S WAY SELFISH SOB......@THEMEDIAMUSIC

Just trying to be relaxed today. Being in public off work feels foreign, like another planet foreign.....like coming out of a cave foreign.

I must live a self-imposed sheltered life.

You can’t make this **** up, or can you??

I feel ****.

that is all

people going on at me today oh they look happy... oh they look happy..... **** off!

yesterday was so bad

get a ****ing grip

I can't be sure but think I lost some time this afternoon

about 2 hours or so

I love when they think that they got this figured out...”we are just figments of their imagination blah blah blah...” lol

Sorry to disappoint, but.....

My turn!

Hmmm...what can I do that will mess with their head in the morning....

I’m so bad.

[TrailRunner14]

I don’t know.........

This song found me today and I wanted to share with y’all.

I like it!!

The Break Up Song.
- Francesca Battistelli

lots of flashbacks today- mainly of my childhood abuse

been tough

good part of today though- I prevented myself from having a panic attack in the shop

I am seeing my mental health worker today.
as usual, only let me know she was coming a couple of hours before she's due

but I guess it's okay, I'm not making any special effert. I've eaten and I have clean clothes on, I don't have a princess look at them oment but so ****ing what

meeting with the mental health worker was okay, and I stayed calm throughout (go me!), I didn't expect me to be so calm but their we go

my bracelet broke late yesterday afternoon and because of my chronic pain I couldn't pick up the beads to fix it, but I did it today and got it fixed (even better than before, so I'm happy with that!)

yesterday I felt very.... restless?

earlier on in the day I got an email from someone calling my trauma unimportant, and I was sitting their by my computer in the dark- thinking of ways I was going to show them that actually it is very important and a very big thing to me, it wound me up no end!.

but today is okay so far. no sleep again but I can live with that.

unaffected by it

currently experiencing a lot of flashbacks

so came on here as a distraction

not usually on at this time of day but I figure what the hell. I need distracting, so

[Amyjay]

Sorry about the flashbacks. We are having lots lately too. Not so good when at work.

trigger warning...

Son just got a d.w.i., and we are having feelings of

Possible trigger:

Suicide

Why?

So many regrets, confusion, disbelief, now that I co-signed his car....I feel stuck.

Disappointed again is a good one. We’re agitated, irritated...unsettled...

Dissing...