feeling quite triggered today.

watched a sceen on a tv programme I didn't expect- and it was very very sad

I want to just curl up and cry... what a sad situation to have to watch

loads of flashbacks yesterday- really violent ones too

horrible meal- so bad I actually through it away and made something else

no sleep/ rest

bad tuesday...

no flashbacks yet today but don't feel too great either.

throat still hurts!

burned my dinner again yesterday. wasn't too clever at all

had a panic attack (a little one) but still counts

no rest again

seems like a boring thursday so far.. not much happening

I spent the afternoon watching "IT", the movie adaptation of the novel from steven king

I like what I saw, though I missed the end due to flashbacks

dam

well it will show again I'm sure

[childofchaos831]

Been disassociating a lot at PHP... having a really hard time right now...

[dlantern]

two deaths infamiliarly (sp) and several stars trying to understand what does this play in our childhood a story entitled a cat being killed in the 80's Just checking in.........A florid intangled in the forensics aspect of mind control must be fantubular....!!!

[Amyjay]

We are struggling in therapy at the moment, the block seems unsurmountable. We are stuck in a circle of denial and have been shut off from our T for several weeks now. We can't speak because we are not real.
It is much easier to not go.

nothing planned for today.

showered though so at least that is out the way

[Calla lily12]

Dentist appt. coming up. I've gotten very good at floating while at the dentist. H is going away for a job for two days. I feel like when he does, I'll go away too.

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

Dentist appt. coming up. I've gotten very good at floating while at the dentist. H is going away for a job for two days. I feel like when he does, I'll go away too.

dentist is one of my phobias

I hope it all works out for you..

more flashbacks yesterday.

and some crap food

blah blah blah

Feelings of depressed, doom and gloom, anxiety, unsuredness, tiredness, stress.

Originally Posted by raging vortex

more flashbacks yesterday.

and some crap food

blah blah blah

and I don't even remember posting this

grr alters

[Calla lily12]

Today is UGH!

[Claritytoo]

i am numb.

[childofchaos831]

Pain = depressed and su = lots of dissociation to cope thru the weekend til PHP and abilify shot on Monday

spent the majority of the morning trying to get a portable fan detached from my hair

don't ask.. though I think I should probbaly cut it. lol

[Calla lily12]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

spent the majority of the morning trying to get a portable fan detached from my hair

don't ask.. though I think I should probbaly cut it. lol

Ouch! I won't ask cause it sounds like something I'd do.......

I just had a flash....

T.w.

Sui
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.taking a ninja sword and hack......

I went shopping today to buy groceries (yes, actually to the store)

was very stressfull, and ultimately my downfall- because their was a lot their to trigger me

I came home and watched some programme on dogs, had dinner and then some flashbacks

I'm looking ahead to the autumn/ winter.

it is coming... yes, it is coming

looksl ike it's going to be another hot day

not even 8 A.M and the sun is streaming through my windows!

last night... sleep didn't happen

[kecanoe]

My angry two year old took over and stopped me from taking my ketamine and the suicidal part jumped in. She's been quiet for the last 6 months or so-since I started weekly ketamine. It was rather alarming to have the 2 yr old take over like that and then to be suicidal. Thank God for T1: he saw me after hours and talked to the suicidal one until the system could chill and regroup.


I think I am doing ok but then I am suddenly not.

was honestly looking forward to a cooler day (it said on the weather about cool conditions and rain), but as it turns out- today's still quite hot

maybe not as hot as yesterday, but it is still hot

not really any news.. same old same old