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#1
Jan 24, 2017, 04:02 PM
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I was wondering if someone could help me see the difference, I'm talking to the doctors about it.. but its important and I need to know
I have a big problem with cognitive functioning... Is it possible for a 27 year old to have Dementia? Would one be able to confuse the symptoms for Dissociation? Something is seriously wrong here... Sorry about the off the wall questions. I'm just worried |
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#2
Jan 24, 2017, 04:47 PM
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Oh man how does one answer without causing extra worry?
Yes it actually is possible for young people to have dementia. In several cases when it happens it is a vascular issue, for some reason or another, blood will not go everywhere it is needed. There is also a chance of vitamin dependent dementia even in the younger (vitamin b1). And there are rare cases of very early onset Alzheimer's (worked with one when I was young, she was 28 getting sick). Also there are rare forms of dementia that basically are unheard of even in the elderly, rare does not mean totally non existing though (those cases are usually genetic). As for genetic early onset Alzheimer's there are genes found that are thought to cause it, which can be identified. One type of inherited vascular dementia can also be identified by genes. Dementia can hit most "any" part of the brain first, which means it can cause a wide range of neurological symptoms. It can be memory issues, problems with finding your way, problem with carrying out tasks, problems with focusing, problems with language and so on. I'd think if a doctor does not see a decline, they would not think it is dementia. Also just a standard GP could run a quick neurological test, which might catch something. There are a lot of things that can happen with brains, even outside dementia and mental illness, such as inflammation brought on by an immune system response, something secondary to an infection etc. I hope the doctors can ease your worry. I know though that it really doesn't make one feel better just hearing something is not very likely. So hope the docs can give you a more definite answer.
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 elevatedsoul
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#3
Jan 24, 2017, 05:22 PM
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symptoms of alzheimers (your word dementia) is... a steady decline in a persons....short term.... memory (my location specifies short term because as a person declines they regress to where they believe the long term memories are happening right now... example a person with alzheimers may not remember to turn the stove off while cooking and believe they are at a cook out/ BBQ party from 20 years ago and wander outside to set up the grill like they did 20 years ago and expect to socialize with people they knew back then who are now either moved away or dead) a steady decline in cognitive and functioning abilities...not knowing how to do their banking when they were perfectly fine banking skills in the past, being unable to understand what a person is saying to them where in the past they had no problems understanding things and how to do things on a cognitive level, being unable to dress and feed their self when in the past they were perfectly capable and did dress and feed their self.... eventually this steady decline results in 24/7 care where a care giver or a nursing facility takes care of all their basic needs right down to changing their diapers, feeding, restraining/ geriatric services so they dont wander off or hurt someone else. some locations now even have an amber alert system for those times when someone with this wanders off and gets lost due to in their minds its not 2017, its 1990 and they are supposed to be on an airplane going somewhere, they went to in the past or other such wanderings while their mind tells them its years ago not today. alheimers also shows up in brain scans as it is a deterioration of brain cells. when someone I know has their yearly scans you can see dark spots and how those dark spots are progressing year after year as my relative's memory, cognitive and physical functioning abilities decline. to answer your question can it be comfused with dissociation ... no dissociation does not show dead brain cells on an MRi, dissociation doesnt cause a person to lose their bathroom abilities/ needing to wear diapers, needing to have others feed and bath, or make sure a person doesnt burn the house down. dissociaiton is about .....feelings.... vs alzheimers is a physical health problem my suggestion is talk with your treatment providers. they will tell you whether you were referred for testing for alzheimers when they did your psychiatric evaluation last year. they will also be able to tell you what exactly what you are diagnosed with and why they diagnosed you that way. then if you dont agree with their assessment results from last year just ask them for an updated psychiatric evaluation. |
| elevatedsoul
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#4
Jan 24, 2017, 05:51 PM
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in this psychological report I have here it says in the beginning
"From the actual neurocognitive profile, there is support for a "High functioning" ADHD-Inattentive type problem. He is also showing problems with high level cognitive organization abilities. His performance across all other neurocognitive domains assessed were normal. Emotionally, there is support for severe anxiety and depression along with prominent somatization and General PTSD related issues. He is showing some avoidant personality traits as well. Thankfully, his neurocognitive profile is fairly benign, except for mild ADHD type issues (innatentive). Auditory memory is normal. I am more concerned about the severity of anxiety and depression and physical manifestations of the same then i am concerned about the ADHD issue. ~~" that being shared, Is the high level cognitive organization abilities be Dementia related? but he saying its fairly benign, being that he isn't concerned that its Dementia? I need to get back in touch with him and talk to him / Re-do the testing... but it cost 1600$? last time and I still haven't payed that bill because I just cant afford anything at the moment... |
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#5
Jan 24, 2017, 08:32 PM
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the combination of depression and anxiety and ADD/ADHD on top of those two can cause memory issues. that is most likely what your memory issues are related to, not dementia. the mention of high level cognitive organizational issues also is most likely related to all of the above.
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| elevatedsoul
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#6
Jan 25, 2017, 05:53 AM
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Take multi-vitamins and a heavy dose of Niacin, folic acid, and thiamin. The Niacin is the main vitamin that will help in blood circulation. If you take the niacin on an empty stomach you will see explicitly how the vitamin opens up your vascular system completely. (The combination also works just as good as any erectile dysfunction drug.) It is thought that poor circulation may cause dementia and other age related memory problems. It is also thought that poor circulation is the cause of some cases of baldness. |
| elevatedsoul
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#7
Jan 25, 2017, 06:22 AM
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If there was any concern about dementia they would have been on to it. What the report says is that the main concerns are anxiety and depression and the somatic symptoms that are caused by them. Both anxiety and depression can have significant impacts on physical health and well-being, and also significantly interfere with cognitive functioning and processing. The body takes care of survival needs first. If you are flooded with anxiety (adrenaline and all sorts of other physiological imbalances) your body will assign all resources to the 'threat' signals and cognitive functioning will get shoved into the 'unnecessary' pile. It is exceedingly hard to function cognitively when your body is constantly put into fight, flight or freeze mode. It may not be possible to sort out the cognitive / memory / possible dissociation issues until you get the anxiety and depression issues under control. |
| elevatedsoul, kecanoe
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#8
Jan 25, 2017, 08:32 AM
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thanks.. i feel a little better about it...
i feel like i've asked before so im sorry if i did... i dont have problems with knowing how to do things so much but my focus is really inhibited... i also dont start doing something and get lost about whats going on (usually) like thinking its a bbq 20 years before but i can forget what im doing quite often... the somatic concerns is what i put it off on before because the psychologist said it would manifest itself in physical ways... and i just kind of assumed he meant that it could alter my memory and stuff too... i feel like its dissociation related because my therapists said i dissociate... and because .. urgh i forgot what i was going to say... well, i have a lot of anxiety and depression... a lot a lot... and i have no choice but to act normal and pretend that everything is fine, its not something that i really control... because if it was up to me i would just be depressed and stay in bed to hide from everyone and everything so that my anxiety wouldnt be so bad... but i just flip over and small parts of me or something handle days that i cant... which is pretty much daily... im not allowed to show depression or anxiety... for some reason... it makes me feel like a liar because i cant tell what is true anymore.... if im fine, or if im majorly depressed, ect... my memory problem just makes it easier to switch i guess... im not a liar though, its just out of my control... i know that i have tried talking about it before but i dunno what came of it... i havent been in therapy since december so im falling apart kind of... thankfully i have therapy on the 3rd... i just hope that i dont go in there and be all fine again like normal because i want to talk to her about this stuff... its just that my memory is so messed up i feel scared that it might be a physical problem... because i read that even with D.I.D. memories stick with the active parts... and i just dont form memories very well at all... but maybe its because like Luce said and that because my system is so overloaded that my mind is constantly over working and not giving much energy to the memory parts... the psychologist was flabbergasted by my levels of depression and anxiety and that i wasn't in the hospital... but i just dont want to go to the hospital because it causes more problems for me... being in that setting causes me to be "fine" and i know its not true because im not fine its just because im triggered by being surrounded by people so have no choice but to be fine so that i can try to protect myself from harm... im always on edge... but the other parts of me you would not be able to recognize because they seem so different and fine... people absolutely love being around me because of it but i hate it because its not who i am... or what i am... i dunno why the disability people are giving me so much trouble getting disability.... if i could just get the benefits i could get the testing i need done.... but to them i seem fine too... it really sucks and is messing my life up majorly... 27 years old and look at me... some people will tell you that im nicest person they know, smart funny and blahblah... others will tell you that im a party animal... and very few will tell you anything about my depression or anxiety because even the ones that know about it dont really seem to believe it because they see the other sides of me more... it just sucks that i cant kill this stuff off... and live with the fun side... have a normal life and be happy... im sick again with a cold so im sorry about the long post my brain is not working, less than usual... |
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#9
Jan 25, 2017, 01:15 PM
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high level cognitive organization abilities means you have great functioning skills. higher then most people....example take a simple task....and then break it down into all its elements needed to perform that task... you are able to remember directions and how to do that task, you use all your senses to perform that task. you understand what that task is...you have great social skills, motor skills, language skills, you have a great memory, you have great visual/ spacial skills, you are flexible and can move from one task to another easily, you can apply theories, great problem solving skills and can anticipate patterns, you know how to and can apply / use or manipulate information from online or books to your real life, you can and do identify and manage self regulation of your emotions, you have great sequencing skills (breaking down tasks and other things in your life to one step at a time and in an orderly fashion, you have the ability to withstand distractions, ... you are able to do all these things on a high level of functioning. heres what it looks like using my morning routine... wake up in the morning and recognize how I am feeling, what I am seeing, hearing, thinking, smelling, knowing I am in bed and remember how I got there, I can make the decision on what to wear today, what to do with my day, I can dress myself appropriately, I can plan my day in a pattern order that best fits what needs to get accomplished (coffee, breakfast, feed and dress children, time with wife, leave the house on time to get to work, wife will be dropping kids off at day care and school, at work I can meet with people, answer the phone do my paperwork socialize with coworkers deal with work related crisis's leave work pick up children, go shopping, make dinner, help children with homework, baths and bed time routine, tuck children in bed, me and wife time, retuck child in bed, .....all the while being able to remember and do these things, and remember having done them and expressing my emotions of how doing those things and other things in my daily life make me feel. when something triggering happens I am able to take care of myself and my emotions... thats what that statement in your report would look like not on paper but applied to a persons real life....mind you it means a person can do all all those cognitive/ organizational abilities to a fantastic high level. but whether they choose to or not is a different matter... example I can choose not to tuck my child in bed for the upteenth time and have my wife do that, I can choose to not dress appropriately, I can choose to not take care of myself and my emotions, i can choose not to do what needs to be accomplished in an orderly fashion, I can choose not to remember things.... my point the test results of having a high cognitive organizational abilities means you have the skills needed and understand how to apply them and are able to do everything on a higher then normal level.....whether you choose to self regulate, do things in an orderly fashion and so on is up to you. people with dementia cant do all those things...they can not remember even how to do the simplest task like turning off a stove, or answering the phone or dressing appropriately for the weather, or taking care of their basic needs, they need other people to help them even with what to do in the bathroom and how to do their bathroom routines. one of my relatives first symptoms of having dementia was causing a fire in the kitchen, and forgetting how to bath their self, and the immediate family pitched in for a medic alert bracelet because just going down street to the store for a gallon of milk resulted in being lost and incoherent. Im taking a guess here given what you posted as being your test results you can rest easy, that you most likely do not have this. you can check with your treatment providers, let them know you are feeling you may have this and they can refer you to your medical doctor who can get you set up for the physical exam that will diagnose this like hearing evaluations, eyes ears nose throat doctor, cat scans and such. |
| elevatedsoul
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#10
Jan 25, 2017, 03:04 PM
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It's hard when your brain refuses to do things. I have ADD and sometimes my brain just says NOPE and won't do as I say. Also when I had depression I simply couldn't think, couldn't figure anything out. But life is complicated and it wasn't JUST this...
It also came out I was hypothyroid and it also made my mind weird. I had one spell of b12 deficiency, doesn't sound bad but if it is not bettered it starts killing off brain cells and other nerve cells. I had it despite getting enough in my food. Was a uptake issue. I also have low iron now and then and that gives me a very specific type of forgetfulness, I sort of lose what i did a few seconds ago. So either I try to do it again, or I forget to complete something because sidetracked. Not one thing here and there but all the darn time! So it really does not even have to be one single thing.
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#11
Jan 25, 2017, 05:51 PM
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could potassium deficiency have an effect?
one of the times i went to the ER for my symptoms they told me i was hypokalemic and gave me 2 potassium pills and told me to eat bananas ... i dont remember much more about it than that though... cant remember which time it was that they said that... i've been to the ER room a few times though... most of the times i thought i was dieing or having a heart attack or something... they discharged me those times with panic state and gave me a shot of something to calm me down... i wish i could have more of those shots  it helped what ever it was, even though it wore off in a couple hours and the feelings came back till i passed out from exhaustion... atleast that one time ? i was on lithium one time so they had to watch my thyroid levels till i quit taking it due to shakes and stuff... but after i stopped taking it the elevation in thyroid went down to normal, i haven't had it tested in a couple years or so its so difficult for me to get any testing done because of my situation... i can't drive so im completely dependent on my dad giving me a ride... and then the little insurance i do have doesnt cover the majority of testings it just covers some treatments which doesnt seem to make sense to me... would think it would cover all of the testings too so we could figure out whats the problem and treat it rather than skipping important steps into identifying the issue for propper treatments... thats why they charged me so much money for the last assessment which i thought the insurance would cover... it doesnt cover any of the physical stuff though... just minor stuff... and mental health... atleast i dont have to pay for Rx's though... i cant afford anything, literally... i havent seen a dollar to my own name in so long i cant tell you when it was last that i was able to sit down and think about what i wanted to do... we all know that money makes the world go round... and my worlds at a stand still right nows... im under a lot of stress... i lose touch with my feelings and emotions... i cant tell you how i feel or what im thinking... i dont even know what day it is... no matter how many times i see the calendar, it doesnt stick... i guess maybe the therapist is right... im looking for a specific... but there are many and im trying to narrow it down to 1, which is not possible.... unless i just say, i have issues, like i told my first therapist... "im a basket case" or maybe a case of baskets  getting high and drunk sort of takes the edge off and allows me to 'be' a little easier... but im not able to let off the steam/pressure that way due to financial issues... and the financial issues make me have more steam... im in a mess right now... really need to get benefits so that i can get rid of the financial stress which should help alleviate a lot of symptoms... i just hope they will help me this time... been on this marry go round for 6 years... and im just getting wore out... i wish i didnt need benefits.... but i thought they made the system to help people like me... that is not able to function in society currently... to help so that maybe i can recover and become part of a working society some day... i dont want to live off the stuff... i just need help getting better... the worse feeling in the world... im scared im going to be stuck like this for ever... and no one is going to help me... because they dont believe me... no one has ever believed me... i guess i wouldn't be surprise... i just try so hard to be optimistic... i have such a strong optimistic side.... it gets on my nerves sometimes... but i see things a million different ways at once always anyway... i just feel so disconnected... from the core... it makes me dizzy... and feel like playdoh... then perspective changes and i feel distant, but im not... to exist in other realms while trying to exist in the real world... this is how i live... im trying to learn that its not how everyone is... trying to discern whats true, whats other, whats different, boundaries... blahblahblah... because until i realize its not normal i wont know how to explain... i guess i just dissociate a lot... thats what therapist said... but it just feels really severe if it is dissociation... its my normal and everyday/every moment way... i hate being sober makes me think about stuff too much.... |
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#12
Jan 26, 2017, 01:27 PM
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it can cause the mental problem of psychosis/ hallucinations, delusions, confusion, delirium (incoherent speech, and other drunken like symptoms, hallucinations, delusions, and yes memory and awareness dissociative like problems similar to depersionalization derealization disorder. having a potassium deficiency here in my location rules out having DID and other dissociative disorders due to the criteria that the problems can not be because of other physical\mental health problems. just a thought here... since they diagnosed you with a potassium deficiency maybe thats why they are saying your problems are not getting the DID diagnosis. suggestion talk with your treatment providers. maybe you can have a basic blood test to see if you still have potassium deficiency. this way you can get treated for your potassium deficiency which if you still have this potassium deficiency after treatment you will no longer have your dissociative like symptoms. |
| elevatedsoul
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#13
Jan 27, 2017, 01:04 AM
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It means that high level cognitive organization abilities are a challenge for you. This is a very common aspect of ADHD, and would likely be made even harder for you with the high level anxiety and depression on top of it. (Both of them impact on higher cognitive functioning too). |
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#14
Jan 27, 2017, 07:46 AM
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thanks Luce, thats what i was thinking too but part of me was thinking maybe it meant something like brain damage ..
usually when people ask me whats wrong with me, anymore i just jokingly say brain damage but i think i've scared myself into thinking that it may be true
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#15
Jan 27, 2017, 12:39 PM
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does the full bloodwork up stuff they did to tell me i have cholesterol problem and stuff show deficiencies?
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#16
Jan 27, 2017, 01:48 PM
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To show vitamin deficiencies they have to test specifically for them. Potassium can be tested but is sometimes coupled with magnesium deficiency and magnesium can't be tested well.
Some deficiencies might show up in standard blood work, like both b12 and iron can make the red count go down. Red count is part of basic blood work. If it is low, one can suspect a deficiency and investigate further. That said, those deficiencies might not always alter red count to a big degree so it might be missed.
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#17
Jan 27, 2017, 02:11 PM
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thanks, im gonna ask about getting tested for deficiencies.. i just had the thought "hey, i had blood work done not long ago.."
im just tired of feeling like this, its been a life long thing so i just wish that someone could of seen it and fixed it when i was a kid... that is if it is something like a deficiency... i guess im just trying to rationalize an excuse/ other possibility besides D.I.D./OSDD you know  although i kind of would feel better if it was D.I.D. because thats supposed to be able to get better right? and that would mean i dont have brain damage like im thinking... and i could go to being "normal" some day... i appreciate the help from everyone, dealing with this stuff alone is really difficult for me...
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#18
Jan 28, 2017, 03:33 AM
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ES, I reckon going with what the assessment said, about the high level anxiety and depression being the greatest concern is a good place to start. If you get those under control you may find that your obsessive thoughts about potential diagnoses might lessen.
It may be that the obsessive thinking about your symptoms is THE main symptom that needs to be dealt with. |
 elevatedsoul
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| elevatedsoul
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#19
Jan 28, 2017, 10:59 PM
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If you do think the potassium is a real lead, you could get a copy from where you were treated of your records, if you don't remember well what happened and how they explained how it occurred. I'm not saying that you should hyperfocus on this issue, but if the cause was something easily explained, maybe you can let that theory go.
If someone said I had something dissociative, I would completely refuse to believe it. I feel that I take very lightly in a way of anything even seeming like dissociation. I always explain it with other things, like, the times I was in derealization and similar, I thought I was just dealing with too many impulses and had an autistic shutdown (I have aspergers), I have had feelings of being dead (I forgot what I blamed that on), and I think it is normal to several personalities taking turns being me. Since I am always me (the here-ness is always there) but my traits change in clusters, I "know" this is not dissociation because I learned that with dissociation you are much less in control and also there is lost time. Never had that. I simply explain this as all people are like this they just don't tell. I'm not saying I am dissociative but even if I was, I sort of know how it feels to not thinking it could actually do all those things... But also I KNOW how powerful the mind can be. Ugh. I sort of don't wanna think about it.
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#20
Jan 29, 2017, 01:52 AM
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Potassium deficiency is usually a transient thing. If there is something persistent there it is usually pretty serious and needs to be addressed pretty quickly. If you had ongoing problem with potassium deficiency you would most likely know about it by now! Sodium and potassium levels are part of the basic blood work, because they are a bit like oxygen... they are essential for life.
It is *extremely* unlikely that you have a problem with potassium deficiency. These are the major causes of it: Potassium deficiency due to lack of potassium rich foods in the daily diet, i.e. insufficient potassium consumption. Excess potassium excretion through bowel motion or urine. Losing potassium as a result of vomiting, diarrhea or excessive sweating. Use of medication which can interfere and bring down the potassium levels in the body. Excessive use of diuretics and laxatives. Health problems such as diabetic ketoacidosis or chronic kidney failure. Hereditary defects of renal salt transporters, such as the Gitelman syndrome and the Bartter syndrome Here is a comprehensive list of symptoms of anxiety: Anxiety Symptoms, Signs, Treatment - anxietycentre.com |
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#21
Jan 29, 2017, 02:51 AM
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just to clarify my posts..
.....I .......was not diagnosing nor undiagnosing the poster with a potasium deficiency. the poster (elevated Soul) stated that they were\ are diagnosed with a potassium deficiency and prescribed two pills and a diet of banana's from the elevated souls own post... could potassium deficiency have an effect? one of the times i went to the ER for my symptoms they told me i was hypokalemic and gave me 2 potassium pills and told me to eat bananas ... if the word hypokalemic is googled a person will find that it is the diagnostic name for a potassium deficiency. googling potassium deficiency one will find the exact problems that Elevated soul has posted that they have (which is probably why Elevated Soul was diagnosed with potassium deficiency.) just wanted to say that before an issue happens because I noticed in rereading my post it ....could..... sound like I was diagnosing or undiagnosing when in fact all I was doing was answering the posters own question, based on the fact that the poster their self stated they were diagnosed with it. |
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#22
Jan 29, 2017, 07:50 AM
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its embarrassing not knowing whats wrong... but they did tell me i have avoidant personality traits and my therapist said i have borderline personality traits...
so im probably just borderline with avoidant traits... im just trying to explain away the D.I.D. suspicion... it was years and years ago when i went to ER for that panic attack and they told me i was potassium deficient... i think i was high on meth or something but i didnt tell them... so i guess the drug could of lowered the potassium levels a little to where they recognized it... i've since had blood work done a good amount of time but they never said anything about it since then... im still gonna talk to them about deficiencies though... and i dont use drugs like talking about, havent done meth in years as it was just a 1 time thing pretty much as far as i can remember... i was just awake for like a week and probably started getting psychosis from it which induced the panic... i went to the ER because i thought i was dieing, same with every time i been to the ER... which ive just stopped going to the ER because i feel like im dieing a lot lol... im not really so worried about what it is as much as i am worried about just making it stop... i wanna be normal, wanna be able to remember things and keep up with the days, months and years... instead of life disappearing, floating by, and just watching my life expire before i get a chance to live... its not fair, i thought i would of fixed the problem by now when i first started treatment back in 2010 or whatever... therapy is just slow... i guess because i dissociate in therapy a lot... forget what she says and its almost like going in circles which is frustrating... i hope it doesnt frustrate her as well... she's so nice and patient with me its just that my memory is really really bad... its like record button is broken and stuck off... i watch whats happening but dont develop memories... its always been like this, it was helpful when i was younger obviously dealing with stupid ****... but now im supposed to be an adult and a man and i cant take care of myself because im so dependent i just wanna grow up... become a real man and get over the stupid stuff of my past... its hard to feel like a man when you were sexually abused by another male though... not just 1 person either... like i told my therapist... i just seemed to be a magnet that atracted abuse from males... even my female cousin... stupid flashbacks... im gonna stop writing...
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#23
Jan 29, 2017, 11:25 AM
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its ok amanda... i appreciate your time, i like being ..objective..? so hearing different view points helps...
i just dont wanna die... i know that probably sounds extreme... but i feel dead already... i haven't been alive for a very long time... i know i have severe depression and severe anxiety... im gonna try to just go with that.. as long as i dont forget, i tend to forget these things over time... my brain is burnt out or something... 6 years trying to get better just makes me feel like im never gonna get any better... it just keeps getting worse...
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Last edited by elevatedsoul; Jan 29, 2017 at 11:46 AM. |
| amandalouise
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| amandalouise
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#24
Jan 30, 2017, 01:54 PM
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my suggestion is to not try to read more into your problems then what you have already been diagnosed with ( both physical and mental) you have posted many times that you know all this looking into other mental and physical health problems is causing you stress and anxiety and your treatment provider problems. look I can understand how a person has this need to do this but when it starts causing more problems thats when its time to say hey this is what Im diagnosed with and thats that. and between you and me it really doesnt matter whether they call your problems a potassium deficiency or a developmental trauma disorder (my locations term PTSD) or any other word. what matters is to get better you follow your treatment providers plans, that means take the meds they want you to take as prescribed so that they can do their meds assessments to get the right meds and dosages, follow their diet plans they want you on for your physical health problems and follow their recommendation that you give up the alcohol. thats how people with any mental disorders regardless of what its called gets better. not taking the meds, not going to sessions continuing drinking and not following diet plans is how people get worse or dont get better. if you really want to get better work with them, that way they and you will end up on the same page and you will eventually get the correct diagnosis and treatments for what ever your problems are. |
| elevatedsoul
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#25
Jan 30, 2017, 05:30 PM
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I know you're right about worrying about it making it worse... before when I just went with the flow it was fine, then I started trying to get treatment and trying to read about my experience to understand myself more and things have just been in a spiral since...
the memory thing didn't bother me so much before because I smoked weed to calm down and it make me not worry about it... I've cut back a lot on substances though and things still seem to be getting worse... just recently it feels like I have been drinking a little more again to deal with the stress... but I cant tell how long I have been drinking more, due to the memory issue... I don't drink as much as some people with alcohol problems drink but I guess drinking any is a bad thing... main reason I don't drink more is because of money and plus I don't really like alcohol... I prefer just smoking... someone has told me before the same thing though, its not so much about what it is but its about getting better... but I just feel like its important to know what it is so that I can get proper treatment since I have been trying to get treatment for so long and not making progress... I have been compliant and everything besides the drinking issue because I drink to help cope... its a coping thing and one of the only skills I have that can help alleviate some of the pressure so I don't explode... the grounding techniques and relaxation stuff doesn't seem to work... I just have to try to ride it out and the best way I know to do that is to drink a few beers or smoke a few puffs and listen to music till it passes... I have that emotional dysregulation stuff that messes me up pretty good... I have been working with them though and am still trying to work better with them... due to my avoidant tendencies though its difficult to speak up sometimes... I get scared, a lot... I hate being scared
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| amandalouise
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