[Amyjay]

I don't know, Claritytoo, I wish there was help for you.

I wish we could sleep through the depression fest that is new year's eve. we're ending it on such a low that all we can think about is our failing health

plus the littles (well all of us really), hate fireworks and we know they'll be some tonight. we live next door to a lot of kids, so..

[Breaking Dawn]

Recently I seem to be in a constant state of dissociation. I'm aware (at least most of the time), but I feel like I'm halfway here & halfway somewhere else.

[Taylor27]

I feel like these days it's easier to dissociate and harder to stay present all day even though im aware of my surroundings. I have accepted the fact that this is something that I have had for a long time and ingored. I am glad that I have a good therapist and a good treatment plan going forward. Happy New Year everyone

[Amyjay]

I am trying super hard to keep track of "being triggered" and to backtrack and find out what caused it. It's super hard to do! But interesting. I am learning things from it... I guess?
I am definitely seeing patterns, at any rate.

[Fuzzybear]

[Taylor27]

Feeling more productive today. I did some journaling,and slowly catching up on things that I neglected for the past two weeks.

feeling in pain. still struggling with basic tasks

a lot

[Breaking Dawn]

I guess I dissociated yesterday. This morning I found something new pinned to my cell phone browser's top sites. It's about fantasy prone personalities & it fits me, so I'm considering what it says. I don't know why I googled it in the first place. Did I run into it accidentally? Did I learn about it from someone else's post here?

[Breaking Dawn]

This is the only place where I feel safe enough to reveal what seems to be unraveling about myself, after all these years. I am old & a child at the same time. I love so much & so many things. I feel so blessed to have the privilege to be here. I am a loner, always protecting myself. But I love you so much! If you only knew how important all of you are.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

This is the only place where I feel safe enough to reveal what seems to be unraveling about myself, after all these years. I am old & a child at the same time. I love so much & so many things. I feel so blessed to have the privilege to be here. I am a loner, always protecting myself. But I love you so much! If you only knew how important all of you are.

You are always so kind and so caring, Breaking Dawn.

[Amyjay]

I've been a little more productive the last few days too. We had been very triggered over the whole holiday period.
It's helpful to get back into routine and out of the shutdown/collapse/freeze we kept falling into.

[Fuzzybear]

My grrrrrrr bear is not at all endearing to some It hurts having to muzzle her all the time. She was muzzled (by force) since I was born. People do not like it that she says how she feels and does not agree with the opinions of the majority

I have to muzzle her (and me) with Papa bear (my husband) too..

I was told by someone I am ''weak''..... this was a while ago. I don't know why I ''allow'' idiots like that to get to me. I do not even like this person (not anyone here) I think it gets to me as I was abused by similar Narcissists all through my cubhood.

I think people like that see the ''child'' in me and want to hurt her. Bully for them I guess

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

This is the only place where I feel safe enough to reveal what seems to be unraveling about myself, after all these years. I am old & a child at the same time. I love so much & so many things. I feel so blessed to have the privilege to be here. I am a loner, always protecting myself. But I love you so much! If you only knew how important all of you are.

Hugs and respect to you.

[just2b]

tired, apathetic, detached and disconnected. and yet here I am...go figure

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling dissociated but I like that. thank you brain

[stahrgeyzer]

New fronters in a new world.

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling stressed and confused. Co-conscious with previous host. Not sure why he came back, but I think he'll leave again. Otherwise this body won't survive much longer. I love life so much. He's burnt out. Cayla

[Breaking Dawn]

I've been dealing with some problems in various ways. At this moment I am feeling determined to improve. Sometimes it's really hard. But, as far as I know, this lifetime is the only one I get. So I have to do whatever I can to make it as good a life as possible. I hope I don't let myself down.

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling completely different this week. Too much brain activity. ~P.

[Breaking Dawn]

My voices won't let me be by myself, at least one of them. I need peace & freedom to experience my spirituality & to tend to things that are important to me. I wish they understood or at least cared to understand.

[Fuzzybear]

I wish people would respect my boundaries. NO is a single sentence.

[Taylor27]

It's been a very rough week. I have had problems with some friends not being very nice to me and spreading gossip among a group of people in day program . My trust was broken the other day and it hurts allot. I hope the weekend is better. I am glad I see my therapist next week and see her every 2 weeks instead of 3 weeks.

[Breaking Dawn]

Dear @Cheryl27, being betrayed by friends is painful & can have long lasting effects. I am really sorry this happened to you. You are a good person & don't deserve to be treated like this! I hope your therapist can help ease the hurt for you. Hugs & love to you!!

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling okay but lately a lot of unknown parts switching co-fronting. ~P.