[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Glad therapy's today. I'm panicking about a lot of things. I feel Cayla getting closer lately. I don't want to disappear this time. Too many things to do.

Good luck, @stahrgeyzer!

[ReveuseTroublee]

I feel like it is my fault. I did this to myself.
My problems overwhelm others and it scares people.
I feel like maybe it is better of without me. I try so hard but I can't seem to succeed.
Everything is falling apart.
I am in a ward because I forgot too much. But everything is dream-like, I am scared.
I am too much. I am wrong.
I just want to be with God so badly right now.
Or go home.
But I know I can't...
I am scared of things repeating themselves.

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling better with just occasional moments of dissociation where I find myself standing in the room zoned out. The parts are being nice. I've been thinking about integration & if it's possible.

[stahrgeyzer]

An especially stressful day today. While driving I kept zoning out. And when I'd snap out of it it took 3 or 4 seconds to realize where I was and what I was doing.

Thank goodness for therapy!

[lucidity11]

I have an appointment with a t at the end of the month. I have been struggling with thoughts of leaving but I know not now. The t is going to evaluate me. This will be the first time I will be meeting her. She does not take my insurance so that will limit how often I see her. But I don't want to deal with myself alone. I am getting tired.

[lucidity11]

I recently started flipping through tictok. I realized it is similar to watching TV. My brain goes to sleep. It calms my thoughts an anxiety. There is a lot of crap on tictok but I scroll past the **** and view the things I like. Its interesting I recently realized how voyeuristic it is. This makes me want to delete the app but I still need to shut down my brain to get through the day. I hope therapy works for me. I don't want to keep scrolling through tictok.

[ReveuseTroublee]

I think I am not making it up, maybe it is real. I am really doing okay... <3
And I am getting help and accepting it...

[Breaking Dawn]

I need a good therapist & some good medicine.

[stahrgeyzer]

I woke up feeling like a completely different person. In some ways I feel a lot better and in other ways worse. Maybe integration? Hopefully

[stahrgeyzer]

Never mind. It faded, so I'm back to normal me. I was hoping for some kind of integration. Maybe temporary integration is a thing.

I have been feeling so depressed. I don't know why that's news, I'm depressed every day

we're making a baby box for the younger alters too. we can't get that doll we wanted, so the next best thing is a box with baby stuff in it

and we're also going to make up a story about a baby getting ready for bed which we need to work on

I am not sure how a baby box is going to lift our mood (not how we've been feeling), but hey: comforting items and such

[Breaking Dawn]

Trouble.

[ReveuseTroublee]

I had a dissociative episode in a shop, I was so embarrassed. I try to process it but I just can't.

Originally Posted by ReveuseTroublee

I had a dissociative episode in a shop, I was so embarrassed. I try to process it but I just can't.

I've been their.

can't remember what I was buying, but I remember it was halloween. probably food or something

I am not having much luck with my baby book- I'm really not creative. all I know about it so far is that I want the story in the style of dr seus, and I want the baby to be called stephanie as I like that name

oh well: I'll probbaly ask someone to do it for me. no kidding.. lol.... I am so impatient with myself- not just at this, but at everything

[Breaking Dawn]

I think, therefore I am.

[stahrgeyzer]

Having waves of panic type feelings of loneliness today and don't know why. Therapy was so amazing today but my therapist is doing something next week so no therapy for 2 weeks. I'm hearing so many inner voices. Thankfully they're all being extra nice for some reason. Feel like maybe something bad is about to happen...

well, I think I've finally finished my baby story. it's a very simple one about a mommy trying to get her baby daughter ready for bed, but it works. hopefully I can write it all out and put it in the baby box

either today or tomorrow, I am getting a delivery of a new computer chair which is hopefully going to help with my back. I'm going to ditch this one... and I can't wait!

and, @stahrgeyzer
hang in their and keep talking on here if it helps

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

well, I think I've finally finished my baby story. it's a very simple one about a mommy trying to get her baby daughter ready for bed, but it works. hopefully I can write it all out and put it in the baby box

either today or tomorrow, I am getting a delivery of a new computer chair which is hopefully going to help with my back. I'm going to ditch this one... and I can't wait!

and, @stahrgeyzer
hang in their and keep talking on here if it helps

You have touched my heart, @raging vortex.

[rep97]

I feel overwhelmed. The woman on twitter is causing me a lot of stress so is my family. But the neighbor with her thumping and banging next door really intimidates me. it is like she is feeling something from me and then doing all that.

[Breaking Dawn]

It is such a mixture of torment, but enters humor sometimes to elleviate the pain. Thank God for a sense of humor.

it is official. I am getting a baby box this time next friday!. super excited about it, in fact it's been a while since I've been excited about anything so much.

I got a new chair today which hopefully is going to help with my back. it has more support, and this one does have arms so we'll see.... sounds promising..

rained all night yesterday, but it's what we needed to cool the humid air. think we might get some more rain today, still looks really cloudy

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

it is official. I am getting a baby box this time next friday!. super excited about it, in fact it's been a while since I've been excited about anything so much.

I got a new chair today which hopefully is going to help with my back. it has more support, and this one does have arms so we'll see.... sounds promising..

rained all night yesterday, but it's what we needed to cool the humid air. think we might get some more rain today, still looks really cloudy

So glad for you!!

[Alatea]

I got a FB friend request today from the same person who caused me the repetitive childhood trauma that set off this in the first place. It is disgusting, I know, sorry if it sounds triggering. If this does not throw me into deep dissociation, I am on a really good place, which is incredible, considering where I was less than half a year ago...I feel pretty coherent these last weeks, I didn't dissociate even while lecturing in public, which was something I regularly did for years...I want to say: I am not afraid any more. He should be afraid of me.

[MichaelTaso]

I watch a lot of tv/movies , definitely helpd