showered today.

now my body feels raw to the touch

it's horrible

[stahrgeyzer]

Did my CT scan. Bad news, I'm an earth human after all. LOL

In a week they'll tell me the results but immediately there's an obvious head injury where I fell about 5 feet upside down hitting my head on the corner of cement when I was like 3 or 4. It put a big dent in my head. It shows up under the skull about an inch long. I guess it's dead brain cells due to bleeding. Anxious to know if there's anything else.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Did my CT scan. Bad news, I'm an earth human after all. LOL

In a week they'll tell me the results but immediately there's an obvious head injury where I fell about 5 feet upside down hitting my head on the corner of cement when I was like 3 or 4. It put a big dent in my head. It shows up under the skull about an inch long. I guess it's dead brain cells due to bleeding. Anxious to know if there's anything else.

Dear friend, I know what you are saying.

that sounds painful!. ow!.
I've fallen down stairs before (I did that at my school) so kind of know

we have another storm causing flooding, rain and heavy winds

in the middle of summer

hardly seems possible.. but their you go

I should know by now that english summers are like a week of sun

[stahrgeyzer]

It's hard to think. I had something to say but can't remember.

[stahrgeyzer]

I don’t know why the psychiatrist put me on Latuda. It’s antipsychotic not mood stabilizer. He said I have bipolar like mood swings. Why not Lithium or something? Today’s too difficult.

I deleted an online friend from my contacts yesterday

this time it was my decision, she was so demanding and attention seeking, that I couldn't bear to have her in my circle any longer.

started a new book, my second book in a month (go me?), and I'm still motivated to read it. makes a real change for me- usually hate reading!

[stahrgeyzer]

That reminds me. I want to draw today. It's therapeutic for me.

hope you were able to get some drawing in. what do you like to draw?

bad day yesterday.. bad food, feeling unwell and no sleep

but I'm having an okay start to the week- I fixed my little portable fan

now that one's up to full pressure, my big one works too so they are both working wooohoo

and it is now august. it was the 1st yesterday

[stahrgeyzer]

I usually end up drawing trauma stuff. This time I tried drawing on the computer but that didn't go so well. It's not easy drawing with a mouse.

I hear you on bad food. Yesterday I ate texas chilly and salami lol. Bad idea!

Good to hear about the fan. Hot weather is not cool!

[stahrgeyzer]

Uggggg...looks like I just got sucked into IOP intensive outpatient program for mental disorder patients. They want to talk to my therapist before deciding how many hours a day but he said it's 3 to 10 hours every single day for about 3 months.

This makes my heart beat like a humming bird. Don't want it!

For anyone who's interested,
overlandiop.com

You can go in person or online telehealth. It looks like a great IOP. Probably the best in Los Angeles. Anyone ever did IOP?

[stahrgeyzer]

Kinda feeling rejected, like my therapist is just trying to get rid of me. I don’t think I need IOP.

we got some cartoons in last night for the littles. mostly peppa pig, but horrid henry too.

another night of bad food, and another night of no sleep

today it's just foggy and cold so far, with not really much going on.. either outside or in my life. pretty dull day all round

[stahrgeyzer]

Morning’s have become brutal. Maybe it’s Latuda. Got up at 9am, could barely like I was low on sugar, went to bed woke up at 1:40pm. This needs to go away soon.

[stahrgeyzer]

I'm glad that iop doesn't take my insurance. I just want to end all therapy and forget about it.

showered today and it hurt as usual

a lot

plus of today though is that I'm going to have mcdonalds later. yum

[stahrgeyzer]

Going to neurologist to have an EEG. And he's also going to tell me CT scan results, hopefully. Can't wait to get all of this over with.

[stahrgeyzer]

I just love going to the doctor. Drive an hour and a half, wait one hour, 15 minutes to do an EEG. I was hoping the doctor would tell me the CR scan results but that’s at a different office. Now I have to wait for CT and EEG results, hopefully sometime this year.

Besides that I’m feel a bit manic, which is good for a change.

Enjoy the Macdonald’s meal, raging vortex. I’m having a peach yogurt drink. They pretty good but it’s gone in like 20 seconds lol

I enjoyed my mcdonalds, but think I ate a little fast... many stomach aches today off and on

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

I just love going to the doctor. Drive an hour and a half, wait one hour, 15 minutes to do an EEG. I was hoping the doctor would tell me the CR scan results but that’s at a different office. Now I have to wait for CT and EEG results, hopefully sometime this year.

Besides that I’m feel a bit manic, which is good for a change.

Enjoy the Macdonald’s meal, raging vortex. I’m having a peach yogurt drink. They pretty good but it’s gone in like 20 seconds lol

I hope it goes well. you'll have to tell us the results

[stahrgeyzer]

I was feeling ok except fatigue is starting and the usual nausea and gas caused by meds which I'm getting tired of especially after Latuda.

Stuck in the front while the others are inside. Tried switching to lil Paul but my brain won't have it.

[stahrgeyzer]

Latuda is starting to help I think. It's been 12 days. My shoulders and neck don't hurt much anymore but elbows hurt a lot. It must be Latuda side effects but it seem they're fading. Past few days I get an occasional wave of nice calmness that makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin.

Look forward to therapy tomorrow. I wish I knew what they teach psychologist in school. Some of the things therapist do are so crazy it makes me wonder if it's therapy techniques or are they just flirty and very sexual with certain clients they like. Ug, it bothers me so much. People probably wouldn't believe me if I told them. I try to ignore it during therapy, which seems to frustrate my present therapist. This stresses me out. Feels good to tell someone. ...

[stahrgeyzer]

I’m kinda happy. I just talked to Harbor UCLA the place my therapist wanted me to contact for psychiatry intensive outpatient program and they only offer IOP for drug addiction. I probably need IOP but I don’t want to do it now.