does over eating make your life a misery?

If the answer to this question is yes then you are probably in the same situation as me. Hey what are we going to do about it? Continue eating and getting fatter and fatter? More and more miserable? It's time to take action! So this is the first step to positive thinking as my daughter just stopped me from writing something really negative. So what shall we be? Positive or negative? Fat or thin? ugly or beautiful? Happy or sad? Big or small? Stupid or intelligent? Or maybe just try to except ourselves as we really are?

yeah, that'd be nice, but if I can be just a size smaller!!
Just kidding, I think your perspective sounds great, maybe getting some tools on how to manage that will be the next step!

that's why I think it's important to be able to talk about our problem and try to help each other. I think over eating is mostly out of boredom that's why everytime we feel like eating it's best to get out of the house and do something which will take our minds off food. Sharing our experiences are important too. Knowing that we are not alone in this situation. That there are other people out there who are suffering from the same problem. Just talking about it helps at times even thought it's not easy to speak to those who are closest to us because we feel that they wouldn't undersand us. Like you I would like to be a size smaller but sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just begin to except myself as I really am.

YES.... it does indeed make one more miserable and can but only lead to self hatred in most cases.

You ask what can one do about it? - Well, YOU could join the six people on here that are presently doing the Weight Watchers Points System together - just started a week ago..... we are here to support and encourage each other to loose the weight that leaves us so unhappy in our life.

If YOU wish to join up please let me know and I will send you the starting information for the program..... the only requirements are that you need to be over weight to join and that you send me your starting weight, and an email for me to send an E-book to you with valuable information in it for eating (per points).

You can check out the THREADS that have been started on this subject in the Health Support & Healthy Living sections.

LINK: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showf...5&o=31&fpart=1

LINK: http://forums.psychcentral.com/postl...&Board=recipes


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Hi, i dont have the problem of over eating myself, but i think that it is not the over eating that makes your life misrable, it is having a tough time in life which leads to over eating.

Also i think that one must be happy with himself and keeping that self image is to be his/her objective. Now if you get depressed after over eating, than it is ovious that you are not happy with the way you look. or feel inside! So try and isolate your problem and work on that!

You dont have to be thin to be happy, you dont even need to be beautiful or any of that, all you need to be, is self acceptant! If you love, accept yourself, you will live the happiest life, cause no matter what is said or done to you, you know who you are and thats all that matters!

Your probably right and it's probably just a problem of hating myself. All my friends except one are thin or trying to diet to stay slim. I really would like to begin to love myself as I really am but it's really difficult. I don't know how to be positive about myself. It's when I eat what is not healthy that I feel really guilty and fat and horrible. It makes me miserable. How do I get a positive image about myself? I've never tried to see the good things in me, only the bad things. Sometimes I wish I could just except myself as I am. I will never be slim that's for sure. My dad was big built and my mum is a normal size for her age. She is not fat. I'm not obese yet but I feel as if I am. I would love to know how to be positve.

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domino said:
Your probably right and it's probably just a problem of hating myself.
I really would like to begin to love myself as I really am but it's really difficult.
I don't know how to be positive about myself.
How do I get a positive image about myself?

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My suggestion would be........... for YOU to look deep with in your SOUL and see what it is that YOU are using the weight for? - to hide, to protect, to stay safe, the list goes on.

I personally use it to keep my self safe from male eyes and evil desires (and) to see if I am really loved for ME, or for the cute little thing I use to be.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

How do you manage to look deep into your soul Rhapsody? I wish I could do it. Maybe I'm afraid of what I will find if I look deep enough? You've got a very kind heart Rhapsody and I'm sure people love you for that. I've read some of your messages on here and you really do your best to help others. Your a great person.

I"m reading a book, "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" that is about accepting all of yourself, including "the shadow" or all the negative stuff that we drag around and try to hide from ourselves and others. Opposites like good and bad or love and hate are pairs on a continuum that come together. You can't have one without the other. Maybe if you can find a copy of that book, that might help you.

Rap

I've gained about 45 lbs. in the last 4 yrs. & am bipolar I. Recently my husband said he no longer found me attractive & we haven't had sex for about 6 mos. Tha hurtful comment pushed me over the edge & I overdosed so I guess you could say my weight is making me miserable. I do think I overeat to soothe myself sometimes, to procrastinate, fight boredom & maybe other reasons that I don't know. I would like to lose the weight & feel better about myself. My low self-esteem went even lower after that incident.--Suzy

Suzy it must even worse when you are rejected by your husband. I'm not rejected by my husband, I'm rejecting myself as I don't like myself. I know it's not easy when it come's to over eating. Eating out of bordom is very common. If you want to lose weight maybe you can join Rhapsody group who posted a message to me in the beginning of this thread. I just don't know what other advice I can give you. I wish I could be more helpful.

Thanks for your response. I think that group you mentioned started a while ago & I probably have missed too much to fit in. Some of my eating is to lessen anxiety. I have Xanax to take, but it just puts me to sleep. But then I'm not eating!--Suzy

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domino said:
How do you manage to look deep into your soul Rhapsody? I wish I could do it. Maybe I'm afraid of what I will find if I look deep enough? You've got a very kind heart Rhapsody and I'm sure people love you for that. I've read some of your messages on here and you really do your best to help others. Your a great person.



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Thank YOU....... I wold say that I care for I have felt much hurt and pain in my life, therefore, I understand and would do much to help stop another person from hurting - If I can?

How Does One Look Deep Within? - by facing our fears and seeing where they actually come from.... the original WOUND from our past (mine started at age one and then grew deeper at age 2 to age 12 - often being ripped opened and scared again as an adult).

I locate and faced my original WOUND on March 4, 2004.... Eight years after starting counseling - I have been busy the last 2 years trying to complete my task of healing and riding myself of the FEAR that controls ME from within.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

.... My turning point came after I read Radical Forgiveness (by) Colin C. Tipping.

thanks for your reply Rhapsody, I will try to do my best to look in to my soul. I just want to be happy again.

I eat too much of some things (especially portions/meats) but really need to get exercising and am having a tough time with that. I keep watching shows about chronic diseases (I have asthma and high blood pressure) and I don't want any yet, want to get this weight off so they "reverse" as much as possible for awhile. I have some 3 lb. weights I bought at the drug store and I try to remember to "play" with those the entire time I'm watching television and occasionally try to use my bottom step as a step "machine" :-) and/or go up and down my townhouse stairs a few times for the heck of it but I'm having trouble getting any sort of routine going and fear with winter coming, it will get harder.

I feel the same Perna. I wouldn't like to get ill because of eating too much. I think exercise is important. I try to walk twice a week for about 2 hours each time. It does me alot of good. I don't exercise at home though. I think it's good that your doing a little exercise at home. I"d rather exercise with a friend than alone as I don't have the motivation when I'm alone. Maybe you can find a friend who will exercise with you. Or go out walking. That's really good exercise and you get lots of fresh air into your lungs

It used to make my life a misery.
Not anymore.

Not because I have completely stopped overeating or because I am thin. I am zaftig, pleasingly plump, a big beautiful, woman, or whatever else you want to say for "fat" a word that has become an obscenity.

It's gotten so that you cannot be considered beautiful physically if you are not thin. Even average weight women are not considered to be beautiful. In today's society most people include thinness as a component of beauty. People with very average, plain or even ugly faces think they are physically beautiful or handsome as long as they are thin (or in the case of men trim and muscular.) There is a difference between the sexes: men usually have to be obese before they think they are fat. A woman would have to be diagnosed anorexic and even then she would be unlikely to think she is too thin.

Until the emphasis on nutritional eating and daily exercise--and what are the chances of that with Hollywood stars being our ideal and getting thinner by the minute?--there will be fat discrimination.
Studies show: Grade school children don't want to be friends with fat children; employers would rather thin employees; usually one of the first desired characteristics mentioned in personal ads refer to weight.
Not very long ago I started accepting myself as I am. Truly accepting. It took a long time. I haven't weighed myself but my clothes are getting looser!!!

I still use food to comfort myself sometimes. But I don't use it to comfort myself for the lack of acceptance I used to have for myself because of my weight.
Surprisingly, I feel much lighter all around. And I've been exercising more regularly too--it's for me. It's not because I want to be what any one else wants me to be..
Women of America. The average woman is 5'4' and 143 lbs. Not 100 lb. She is a dress size 14.

Stand up tall, you are beautiful at any weight if you are beautiful inside!

Jumping down off my soapbox,

Meta.

Oh Meta I wish I could be as positive as you. What process did you go through to reach the stage where you except yourself now? I really would like to know your secret. I would like to feel beautiful but all I see myself through the eyes of others. Oh yeah and here in France, French women are genetically thin I think. I haven't come across really big french women. In England though the average size goes from 12 to 18. I'm probably 14 to 16 now. Dress sizes are different over here. So in French size I'm a 42-44 which is big compared to a 38 which french women always try to get in. Sorry to be talking so much about sizes but probably I'm obsessed by it!!!

Domino,
The first response to this latest post of yours got lost in cyberspace. My attention span sucks sometimes. It has been a long struggle and believe me I still fight the accepting myself fight. Probably since I"ll be coming up on 50 soon-I am more worried about age and death than weight. I have been in eating support groups and read a lot of books like "Fat is a feminist issue" and "Feeding the Hungry Heart."
We have a size obsessed society, how could we be unaffected? Somebody once told me to think about what my worries would be if I was my ideal size-that was an eyeopener. Good luck, be gentle with yourself.
Meta

Thanks alot Meta for replying. I'll have to ask myself the question. If I were slim what would be the other problems on my mind. I'm just afraid that's all for the time being.