[sunchick924]

If I am in a relationship where I feel trapped I eat. Right now I am engaged to be married and I cannot stop eating. My fiance is a body builder and I was in good shape, however in 6 months I have gained 15 pounds. I always seem to lose weight when I end a relationship. How do I stop eating right now and start losing weight. I am seriously getting chunky. I am embarrased to go out. I don't want him to leave me. I don't know if i am unhappy because of my weight or because of the relationship. Any advice? Has anyone else experienced this?

[katt]

Sun,
I think you answered your own question in your opening statements. You say that you overeat when you are in a relationship where you feel "trapped" and you feel you have been overeating for the past several months. This sounds like a red flag in regards to your relationship. I would explore this before taking the huge step into marriage. The fact that you're also concerned that your fiance will leave you over a 15 lb weight gain makes it sound like your relationship is very fragile. I'd suggest exploring your relationship, rather than your eating, whether with or without your fiance, with a neutral third party.

[Raindrizzle]

Recently, i broke up with my boyfriend but we tried to work it out unfortunately at the time, i was throwing up like no other and dropped almost 10 pounds, he hated it. However, he was the reason i did it so much. Nothing is good enough besides perfection to him.So we are no longer together what so ever. If your fiance makes you feel intimidated or uncomfortable about a little weight gain then maybe you two need to talk. Don't let this go because it may escalade and result in a rocky marriage. And i agree with Katt, if you feel trapped now, a marriage will only put a lock on the door you just closed. if that made sense

[razeljenny]

You are so lucky to be in love.

I would not end anything. I would just journel first. I would tell myself, I can have love, have proper diet and have it all.

As far as the weight you have to lose, here is some of my tested advice and I would say to take it and try it pretty well because it might really be rewarding:

1) write down each time you eat.

2) exercise for fifteen minutes when you can during the day.

3) Take ginko , gurana, or green tea capsules during the day inbetween meals but don't take more than five of each the whole day.

4) If you screw up, beat yourself up less than you have been doing.

5) don't judge yourself, compare yourself, or tire yourself out with thoughts on weight, weight loss or anything not happy

6) Please your man. Smile around him. Be grateful and really think about when you two first meet. Always reflect on those things. Show him that affection all through time. Tell your friends your major sad troubles, not him, very very often. Make use of his great appreciation for you.

7) Really appreciate yourself, no matter what.

Yes, don't do like I did when my husband said he no longer found me sexually attractive since I've gained weight (more than you by far) on psych meds. I overdosed & ended up in the ER & am still trying to get my equilibrium back.--Suzy

[Gabby2007]

and maybe it's any deeper relatinoship, and not just about this one? just an idea to explore maybe.

I eat when I'm anxious, and when I first moved out on my own I was still in high school - very anorexic then, then onto bulemia....but now I'm heavier than I'd like - although my husband is understanding (and we're going on 18 yrs this summer), it's anxiety that drives my eating, not 'him' per sey.