Relationship problems

I am currently living w/my boyfriend of 8 years and it seems that the relationship is ending. He spends more time on his computer than he does with me. He rarely engages in any social activity and doesn't have any friends. I've asked him over and over if he still loves/likes/wants/needs/is glad I'm here and he always responds positively, but his actions are saying the opposite. I'm in real trouble here because I live in his house and he supplies me with total financial support when it comes to living expenses. I have disability but it only pays for my medical care. There is no $ left over for living expenses. I'm in a should I stay or should I go thought pattern and don't know what to do. Actually, for rent I pay his property taxes when they come due in November. So I'm contributing something, but I'm afraid that this relationship is dead and I'll be kicked out as soon as I pay his tax bill this year. Any advice?

(((((((((((skymonk)))))))))) That's a tough situation to be in. I have been in positions where I felt I had no choice and it's horrible. Maybe you can look into government housing? I don't know if that would work, but maybe worth a try. Do you have a therapist that might have some ideas?

I guess I'm kind of at a loss for good ideas, but I do want you to know I care.

Please keep us posted. Hopefully some others will have some good advice.

((((((((((((( skymonk ))))))))))))))

You are in a difficult position for sure. It sounds like you can see the writing on the wall and you know you need to react to that soon.

My suggestion to you would be to start planning right now. Contact all the agencies you can regarding state and city welfare, SSDI, foodstamps etc. Find out what your options are. It's always scariest when you don't know what can be done to help you. As a last resort, please contact a women's shelter to find out how it works. Many times there are services available along with classes and help in getting situated in your own place.

If you are in therapy, you can ask your T to help you with your search for answers. Do you have some friends or family members that could put you up for awhile?

Now is the time to start thinking outside the box at the worst case scenario and planning how you will manage through it. I'm sure it's a daunting task (been there done that). Put yourself into action and I promise you will feel better about knowing what options are available to you when the time comes to having to make a choice.

I wish you well!


sabby

Maybe you could redefine your relationship. Ask him if you can just be roommates. It might free you up to do more things like take a fun class. It doesn't sound like he's very into the relationship anyway.

Hi Skymonk -- Lots of good suggestions here. I just wanted to post so you would know people care. I don't have any serious suggestions to add. Please plan ahead and take care of yourself.

Have you spoken to him about how you feel? Maybe he actually isn't noticing the damage his distance is causing.
And as others have mentioned, I would start planning. Looking into what options you have available.

Goodluck...

If you have all those mental heath disorders ( which I do as well) you first have to ask your self are you truly seeing things the way they are I know a lot of times when i get upset it clouds my vision of what is real . Ive was removed from my family and put on the street in the blink of the eye i was homeless .I know how scary that thought is .It tough on disability .In my state they do have housing for people with mental heath the is 30% to 80% of your disability . I found support groups there I meet other people with the same problem it helps .I got a apt. with 2 of them but every one is willing to help .In my state they like to take you kids away or remove from them when you get disability with out support groups I think a lot of them would have killed them selfs. These group are filled with information and caring people who understand what you are going though they are hard to find but they are out there.

I see a lot of good suggestions from people. But I want to say something that no one else seems to have thought of---maybe he has issues of his own that have nothing to do directly with you. He may not even realize it himself.

I agree with another member that maybe things are not what they appear to be, due to your mental condition. I'd say stick it out, but at the same time, start some planning..baby steps at first. I know it's hard.

I read your profile, and if you'd like someone to listen or need to vent, you can PM me. I need that too. Like you I have no one I can talk to either.

I know therapy can be costly, but if possible maybe you could go together. An objective third party should be able to sort stuff out.

it sounds as tho you are feeling a little insecure within this relationship maybe, i feel getting some good advice concerning your rights with housing and money may help you feel more confident in making a real life changing decision remember both people in a positive productive relationship need to feel valued it sounds as if you dont feel that right now, remember to think about what you need check this out with trusted individuals to see if what your asking is fair then ask b/f if he can meet what your asking and remember to ask him too if he has needs communication is the key, good luck stay strong
love and light