[Albatross2008]

Turns out I am losing more weight than I thought. And the eating program is obviously doing something, because I have to reduce my insulin dosage.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Arbie

Turns out I am losing more weight than I thought. And the eating program is obviously doing something, because I have to reduce my insulin dosage.

I'm not sure if that is bad or good but I wish you well with your plan.

I'm going to be resurrecting the scale from the garage in the next few days..I know I've gained some as I was weighed last week. Dr. suggested weighing once a week. We'll see how that goes..or the scale may end up in the Lake.

[LucyD]

I'm doing much better mentally now. I hope it lasts! Thinking about you all and wishing you happiness. Sometimes, for me, it comes in the little things and moments.

[LucyD]

A new month and going to get the scale out but not yet....kind of scared to and don't want the whole vicious cycle to start again with weighing and feeling like crap because of it. I think I need some positive self talk about how the scale doesn't dictate what or who or how I am..

[LucyD]

Got the scale out of my car trunk. Trying to prepare myself mentally for what it's going to say. I want to accept my weight and not beat myself when it's more than what I think is acceptable. And I know it is more than what I feel I should weigh already because I was weighed at the doctor last week. It doesn't make me a bad person or any negative adjectives. I'll use it as a baseline for further weigh-ins because I need to watch it for my health's sake and only that reason. I am a good, worthwhile, pleasant person no matter what I weigh.

[LucyD]

Well, I weighed myself and it's okay. It's only a number and does not define who or what I am.

[Albatross2008]

Originally Posted by LucyD

I'm not sure if that is bad or good but I wish you well with your plan.

I'm going to be resurrecting the scale from the garage in the next few days..I know I've gained some as I was weighed last week. Dr. suggested weighing once a week. We'll see how that goes..or the scale may end up in the Lake.

Thank you. I'm being medically supervised and check in regularly. My doctor is pleased with my progress. I'm sticking to the program, and my insulin dosage has been cut in half. Insulin can make a person gain weight, or at least make it next to impossible to lose it, so the less I have to take, the better. If my blood sugars can be controlled without it, that would be the ideal.

I hear you on the scale. I was initially told to weigh myself every day. And only once a day! I might get obsessive enough to weigh myself several times throughout the day, and of course I'm going to be a little heavier as the day goes on, which is going to be discouraging. I was counseled that little fluctuations might be water weight or whatever, and not a true measure of whether I'm gaining or losing body weight.

I'm not even sure about weighing every day. I might be better off once a week, so I can see the loss, if any. Seeing the same number for several days in a row can make it feel like I'm not making any progress, which would make me want to give up.

Of course, I know if I give up, all of the progress I've made is undone.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Arbie

Thank you. I'm being medically supervised and check in regularly. My doctor is pleased with my progress. I'm sticking to the program, and my insulin dosage has been cut in half. Insulin can make a person gain weight, or at least make it next to impossible to lose it, so the less I have to take, the better. If my blood sugars can be controlled without it, that would be the ideal.

I hear you on the scale. I was initially told to weigh myself every day. And only once a day! I might get obsessive enough to weigh myself several times throughout the day, and of course I'm going to be a little heavier as the day goes on, which is going to be discouraging. I was counseled that little fluctuations might be water weight or whatever, and not a true measure of whether I'm gaining or losing body weight.

I'm not even sure about weighing every day. I might be better off once a week, so I can see the loss, if any. Seeing the same number for several days in a row can make it feel like I'm not making any progress, which would make me want to give up.

Of course, I know if I give up, all of the progress I've made is undone.

So glad you are doing alright. I'm diabetic, too. I have the scale back indoors. I'm going to try once a week. For the reasons you said I find it discouraging to weigh more often. I may be going on something for the diabetes. I'll get an A1C this month most likely. I think I may be put on Metformin which I've heard has helped some to lose weight. Probably not the same thing you take.

I hope your night is a good one.

[Blue_Bird]

It's been awhile since I checked in on this thread. I kind of had some psychosis symptoms that were consuming my life for over a week. I wasn't eating properly or anything at all but it actually wasn't intentional. I was so out of it and far from reality I just never even remembered to eat.

I'm eating normally again now that I'm out of that episode for the most part. I have a lot of stress though now as a result of some problems with my college classes due to the episode so I'm trying to not eat a bunch of junk food to make myself feel better or escape temporarily

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

It's been awhile since I checked in on this thread. I kind of had some psychosis symptoms that were consuming my life for over a week. I wasn't eating properly or anything at all but it actually wasn't intentional. I was so out of it and far from reality I just never even remembered to eat.

I'm eating normally again now that I'm out of that episode for the most part. I have a lot of stress though now as a result of some problems with my college classes due to the episode so I'm trying to not eat a bunch of junk food to make myself feel better or escape temporarily

So sorry you were having such a hard time. I'm glad you are feeling better now. I've been wanting to binge but have no junk in my apt. Had some other stuff I didn't need tho last night. Getting back on track for the most part. Hang in there!

[LucyD]

I have a hard time with accepting the way I look--objectively it's not that bad. Maybe I do think it's bad, tho. I have a self esteem workbook I'm going to get out and look at. So, I found a meme that is what I needed today and thought I'd share it.

[downandlonely]

Good quote Lucy

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Good quote Lucy

Thanks, now for me to believe it!

[Blueberrybook]

I've had a hard time keeping on top of threads. Lots of stuff going on, my mom (who I am sure has BED) having a lot of health problems (gallstones stuck in bile duct, gallbladder surgery, now they've found a spot on her kidney).

I'm still exercising too much, doing somewhat better with eating. This morning, though...ugh. It actually got really cold here (around freezing and the wind chill was lower), and I went running this morning. OMG, my Raynaud's was so, so, so bad. Thank God H could work from home today because he had to help my daughter with most of getting ready for school and driving her there. I was fixing to go to urgent care, the ER, try an emergency appt. with my rheumatologist, and finally, my hands started doing better. Stupid ED, convinced me I had to run even though I know I have Raynaud's and that gloves don't help me much in this type of weather since it's not like I own super heavy winter gloves as there are maybe 5-7 very cold days each winter here, if that.

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I've had a hard time keeping on top of threads. Lots of stuff going on, my mom (who I am sure has BED) having a lot of health problems (gallstones stuck in bile duct, gallbladder surgery, now they've found a spot on her kidney).

I'm still exercising too much, doing somewhat better with eating. This morning, though...ugh. It actually got really cold here (around freezing and the wind chill was lower), and I went running this morning. OMG, my Raynaud's was so, so, so bad. Thank God H could work from home today because he had to help my daughter with most of getting ready for school and driving her there. I was fixing to go to urgent care, the ER, try an emergency appt. with my rheumatologist, and finally, my hands started doing better. Stupid ED, convinced me I had to run even though I know I have Raynaud's and that gloves don't help me much in this type of weather since it's not like I own super heavy winter gloves as there are maybe 5-7 very cold days each winter here, if that.

What is Raynaud's? I should look it up but am going offline in a second. So sorry about your mom and your's health acting up a lot. I hope you can find some relief. I got this huge icepack I ordered from Amazon yesterday for my back and shoulder pain and it really helped a lot to use it last night. I was having a hard time sitting at my desktop pc. We are having some harsh weather too, it just snowed and looked so pretty. But I'm not going out there! Too cold for me. Do you ever talk back to your ED thinking? I do that sometimes. Sometimes it helps and sometimes not for me. I know it tells us some stupid things; at least mine tells me a lot of crap.

[Blueberrybook]

Raynaud syndrome - Wikipedia

They don't know the cause in a lot of cases, not mine anything. But it can hurt awfully. It's a vasodilation thing that happens in the extremities, usually the fingers, brought on by cold and/or stress. Kind of hard to explain which is why I included the link above.

Some medications can trigger it. I thought maybe the Adderall, but then, I was off it for nearly a week (problems with insurance paying for it), and I still didn't have it this morning, so no, I don't think it's the Adderall. Could be something linked to a rheumatic issue as I do have fibromyalgia, and an aunt with lupus, but really, they don't know. I've had it since 9th, 10th grade though. It is just a lucky thing I live in a climate that tends not to get very cold, but it will get mildly triggered by cold doctors' offices, things like that. Not as bad as this though.

[Blue_Bird]

Oddly enough I haven't been struggling with my eating disorder. It seems the less I try to "fix" it , the better things go. I was delusional and stuff for a couple weeks so when that was going on I guess I was too out of it to even stress about my weight or calories , etc. I've been stable for a few days now and so far things seem okay, I've been eating normal and not obsessing at all. Crazy, I've struggled with bulimia intensely for almost 7 years and had constantly been trying my best to overcome it and not being able to. Now it's like it just disappeared somehow , maybe I just had to stop fighting myself. very odd but I'm happy about it

Hope everyone is doing okay

[LucyD]

BBB, I will take a look at the link later. Going to have some tea soon. I'll probably be up late as I slept late today and then took a nap this afternoon. Means I probably wouldn't fall asleep if I went to bed now. So, I'll be looking at the link later tonight.

BB, glad you are doing okay now. I am the same way, the less I try to fix the ED the better it seems. I get very anxious when thinking about my ED a lot.

I have the scale back in the kitchen. Weighed myself Sat. and hope to again on this coming Sat. Doctor suggested weighing once a week and will try to do that now. We will see how that goes.

I hope everyone sleeps well.

[LucyD]

I thought this was so pretty had to post it...

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Raynaud syndrome - Wikipedia

They don't know the cause in a lot of cases, not mine anything. But it can hurt awfully. It's a vasodilation thing that happens in the extremities, usually the fingers, brought on by cold and/or stress. Kind of hard to explain which is why I included the link above.

Some medications can trigger it. I thought maybe the Adderall, but then, I was off it for nearly a week (problems with insurance paying for it), and I still didn't have it this morning, so no, I don't think it's the Adderall. Could be something linked to a rheumatic issue as I do have fibromyalgia, and an aunt with lupus, but really, they don't know. I've had it since 9th, 10th grade though. It is just a lucky thing I live in a climate that tends not to get very cold, but it will get mildly triggered by cold doctors' offices, things like that. Not as bad as this though.

Just looked at the link. Sounds painful! Do you take anything when you have a flare up? I see there are some things you can take. I'm glad it's not real cold there a lot!

[Albatross2008]

Weight loss still going nowhere, but my blood glucose readings have been absolutely amazing.

Today I noticed feeling mildly sore, and for a moment wondered about it, then I remembered I was at the gym this morning. It was my second day this week. I'm trying for three. Normally I warm up with hand-held weights, and then jog in place in the pool. I can do that in water; can't do it on land. Today I added a little bit of extra work on the weight machines. Couldn't do blue diddly on the ab crunch machine, though. Not even at a light weight resistance. My abs said "nope." Going to have to build up to that, I suppose.

[Blueberrybook]

Ran again today. So tired. Wish I could take a break. My weight is stable though I need to gain (logically, I know this). I overdo it too much and do risky things like go running in the dark at 3:30 AM. I did that today. I woke at 2:30 AM because right now, I've got 3 temporary crowns on the left side of my mouth, and I have been waking between midnight and 3 AM with an aching jaw (get 2 permanent crowns put in tomorrow). Tylenol helps it (can't take NSAIDs because of having had a perforated ulcer). I could not go back to sleep this AM, so I ran and ran. Maybe the night running is part of the bipolar. I tend to have a baseline of craziness mixed. Sometimes, I'm even manic & depressed at the same time. Just insane.

Saw pdoc; he thinks I should be in therapy yesterday. Gave the therapist a call earlier this week, but there are some insurance issues; I'll call her again tomorrow.

Saw the eye doctor too. Eyes got worse. I've got like -10 vision in contacts in each eye, and now I have to have correction for close up as well (getting very hard to read OTC medication bottles, even books). Veritable fortune for 1 yr. of contact lenses and/or a pair of updated glasses. Really, I need both, but I wear the contacts the most. Though one time I scratched my cornea and had to go 3 weeks wearing glasses while it healed.

Thinking today how much bipolar sucks. EDs too. Also panic disorder. And am not sure if it's bipolar or ADHD, but I'm losing everything all the time now. OMG, I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes.

[Blueberrybook]

Hope everyone is doing OK. Can't stop overexercising. I would have exercised even more than I did today (already a lot) if I didn't have a dental appt. to get 2 permanent crowns cemented, one of which is super sensitive. Dentist thinks I'll be fine; the nerve has to heal; otherwise, it's a root canal.

Going back to therapy again. Have an appt. Sat. morning on March 16. The therapist I see does not specialize in EDs. She does CBT though, which seems to help me. Not to mention, I'm having issues with the bipolar and the panic and either ADHD or bipolar disorganization/losing important things. And I still have tons of crappy life experiences I need to work through.

[LucyD]

Hi. Just a real crap day for me today so far--in terms of how I feel anyways. Everything is going okay though.

Wishing everyone a good weekend even though I don't seem to be having one. I don't know what's up with me today.

The Physical Therapist was annoying yesterday. Whenever I try to say anything to her she interrupts. Never lets me finish what I'm saying. Don't like her! Next week I'll see a different one. There are several of them there. You don't always get the same one and I'm glad for that. The good thing is that I have improved a lot with the PT. Started working on my knee and hip now.

I went on youtube and looked for stomach exercises to try and slim my big stomach down. Found some that look doable. In the long run I hope to get in much better shape physically. On the outside view at least.

[LucyD]

Start of a new week. What are you all doing this week? I have to take the dog to the Vet soon. She has **** glands problems. Having to go often with her lately. Don't know why.