[anothercliché]

I don't know if this is the proper forum to ask this, but I couldn't find a more appropriate one.
I am beginning to think I'm mentally challenged, slow, special, whatever term is the correct one currently. It seems my brain is incapable of performing basic descision making functions. It seems that every choice I make is the wrong one, every time I'm given a task I perform it sub optimally, and any time I'm given options I go for the inferior ones. I am generally able to tell after the fact that my choice was incorrect but most of the time during I earnestly feel that I'm doing the right thing. Just from a purely statistical standpoint I cannot be this stupid. Even though I'm REALLY stupid it's not possible for me to make wrong descision on the sheer scale I've been making them all of my life. Either something genuinely has damaged the portion of my brain that deals with rational descision making, I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself, or I really have just underestimated my own idiocy. Any input would be appreciated, as would any impairments that spring to mind when you read my admittedly bad description. Thank you for your time!

[Altered Moment]

I can tell by how well you write and how well you expressed yourself that you are not mentally challenged, slow, special, or stupid. Probably pretty intelligent.

I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself,

That is the phrase that jumped out at me. What you describe is actually pretty common and comes from some kind of emotional block, self worth issue. Its not rational but whatever the block is prevents us from making rational decisions sometimes. Or decisions that are in our best interest. I am pretty intelligent but have had this same problem in the past. Especially around finances. Self sabotage and avoidance behavior that caused me lots of problems.

Just my take on it.

[Hellion]

I have trouble with basic decision making, I mean I can literally spend a half hour trying to figure out what shirt to wear or at the grocery store it takes me a long time to figure out which of an item to get. I know in my case I have aspergers syndrome so I imagine that contributes to some of the mental difficulties, but I know I am not actually an idiot or whatever...just have some problems in mental functioning. Doesn't stop me from feeling like one though and well I have done plenty of stupid things in life I am sure.

[Ripose]

Have you ever had any substance abuse in your life?
Have you ever had even a minor concussion?

I make many bad decisions now for the above reasons, I actually suffered physical brain damage from substance abuse and the concussions I have suffered have only made things worse. The only thing I can do about it now is to force myself to slow down and to never make any quick decisions, it helps a lot.

[IrisBloom]

I don't know your diagnosis, but depression, anxiety and other MIs can cause mental confusion. I hope you are getting treatment for what ever it is affecting you.

[tony fudo]

Well, from the way you write, you are intelligent enough, so no worries there. However, you do have a problem. The last depressive episode that I had, it seemed as if anything that I tried to do relied, somehow, on something else needing to be done, and my thoughts would just go round and round, and I was just unable to act. Unable to make plans, which, as I was involved in moving house, quickly became a nightmare. Fortunately, this phase is now in the past. I found that keeping things as simple as possible, and writing down what I wanted to achieve, and how, helped me through a tough time. Talking to a professional is your next, obvious move, if that is why you feel you should do, but know you are far from being alone in this!

[anothercliché]

Originally Posted by tony fudo

Well, from the way you write, you are intelligent enough, so no worries there. However, you do have a problem. The last depressive episode that I had, it seemed as if anything that I tried to do relied, somehow, on something else needing to be done, and my thoughts would just go round and round, and I was just unable to act. Unable to make plans, which, as I was involved in moving house, quickly became a nightmare. Fortunately, this phase is now in the past. I found that keeping things as simple as possible, and writing down what I wanted to achieve, and how, helped me through a tough time. Talking to a professional is your next, obvious move, if that is why you feel you should do, but know you are far from being alone in this!

Being articulate doesn't make you smart. Politicians are some of the most silver tongued beings around and most of them aren't what I'd describe as the brightest bulbs in the shop. I'm easily the stupidest person I know, I test well but I always say the stupidest things, I believe the stupidest things, and any time I make a decision it's the stupidest thing I could do in any given situation. I always make the wrong choices because I'm such a moron, I'm a disgrace to my potential and a failure to myself because I'm such a moronic mess of incompetence. I think I'm mentally challenged because I can't be this much of a dolt on my own. I read, I research things on my own, I learn on my own free time, and I'm still such a clueless bafoon.
Lastly I don't feel comfortable getting professional help. It was very hard making an account here, boring all of you with my trivial trite issues. I don't feel I can discuss the nebulous complaints of a well off kid to a professional who, in all likeliness, is going to correctly believe that I'm just another dumb kid who needs to man the hell up but is too much of a crybaby to do it.

[tony fudo]

The Buddhist have a saying that a fool who doesn't know he is a fool will be a fool for ever, but the fool who knows he is a fool will someday be a wise man.

Going on this, it looks like you will end up a genius!

[tony fudo]

PS. Re. Man the hell up, Crybaby... I think you are confusing therapy with joining the marines. If you have a psychological issue that is detrimental to your wellbeing, that's what a therapist is for, whatever the issue.

[anothercliché]

Originally Posted by tony fudo

PS. Re. Man the hell up, Crybaby... I think you are confusing therapy with joining the marines. If you have a psychological issue that is detrimental to your wellbeing, that's what a therapist is for, whatever the issue.

From what I understand phschologists and therapists (I'm too dense to know what the difference is) help people who have been psychologically damaged or destroyed by an outside force. I haven't the outside world has been nothing but inviting to me, I'm just such an ungrateful lump of trash that I've taken the bounties of life and thrown them all back in its face. I don't think I am undeserving of professional help because I did this to myself, I was foolhardy enough to crash myself into the ground.

[tony fudo]

Psychology is the general study of mind, therapy is putting that knowledge to use to alleviate suffering.

And a lot of therapy is concerned with the way that we sabotage ourselves. Consider alcoholism or gambling. Addicts, for instance, are people who spend great time and effort, could be said to make a career out of, self sabotage, yet no one would say they are unworthy of help.

You feel you have crashed yourself into the ground. But inside, you have a desire for healing. (Note, you 'accidentally' said 'I DON'T think I am undeserving'....of professional help. A slip of the keyboard!) When you decide to act, a therapist is there to assist in this process. And the first step is deciding that you want to put the effort in.

[Hellion]

They aren't only to help people psychologically damaged or destroyed by an outside force...they do have therapy for that to, though.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by anothercliché

I don't know if this is the proper forum to ask this, but I couldn't find a more appropriate one.
I am beginning to think I'm mentally challenged, slow, special, whatever term is the correct one currently. It seems my brain is incapable of performing basic descision making functions. It seems that every choice I make is the wrong one, every time I'm given a task I perform it sub optimally, and any time I'm given options I go for the inferior ones. I am generally able to tell after the fact that my choice was incorrect but most of the time during I earnestly feel that I'm doing the right thing. Just from a purely statistical standpoint I cannot be this stupid. Even though I'm REALLY stupid it's not possible for me to make wrong descision on the sheer scale I've been making them all of my life. Either something genuinely has damaged the portion of my brain that deals with rational descision making, I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself, or I really have just underestimated my own idiocy. Any input would be appreciated, as would any impairments that spring to mind when you read my admittedly bad description. Thank you for your time!

Hello anothercliche,

No you are not mentally challenged, or slow or special. The correct term for that would be a 'learning disability' which you would have been born with, school would have supported you and you would actually be unaware of the issue compared to other people.

Reading you further, it is apparent that you either have a very self-deprecating sarcastic humour or you are truly down on yourself. If your self-esteem and view of yourself is that bad, it can make you doubt everything. You have described yourself as a moron and such, that's not going to give you any self confidence in making decisions and will also make you anxious in making any decisions. Depression can make us believe all sorts of dreadful things about ourselves. I'm not diagnosing you but it does sound like the dim view that you have of yourself is literally dragging you down!

Please go and see your doctor and look into therapy/medication and keep sharing with us.

[SmileHere]

I had to laugh at some of what you wrote too, so you have an excellent sense of humor in my opinion - but sorry if it was not intended!

I too resisted therapy for a long time, but talking to a psychologist has been similar to talking to a friend or mentor... (if you find a good one) The only downside is the money spent...

Even if you might be a bit 'special' (?) does that make you 'inferior'? People who are not 110% smart have to live too, and sometimes they can be better people to hang out with than the super-smart narcissistic ones or so! Sometimes they even can have better lives than the 'super smart'... Though you could possibly be the 'absent-minded professor' too.. Some people can be really smart but can have problems in some areas... I've had straight A's a lot of my school years, but I think I have had learning difficulties when it comes to nonverbal stuff, I even had to take notes about doing the laundry or on how to drive a car! (I still don't like doing either)

So... having learning difficulties is nothing to be ashamed of, there are some really cool people who have had them... and if you might have ADD, I'd just like to say that ADD forums are one of the friendliest forums out there!
(Too much internet/computer time can cause ADD-like symptoms in me too though, so beware of that...)

[anothercliché]

Originally Posted by tony fudo

Psychology is the general study of mind, therapy is putting that knowledge to use to alleviate suffering.

And a lot of therapy is concerned with the way that we sabotage ourselves. Consider alcoholism or gambling. Addicts, for instance, are people who spend great time and effort, could be said to make a career out of, self sabotage, yet no one would say they are unworthy of help.

You feel you have crashed yourself into the ground. But inside, you have a desire for healing. (Note, you 'accidentally' said 'I DON'T think I am undeserving'....of professional help. A slip of the keyboard!) When you decide to act, a therapist is there to assist in this process. And the first step is deciding that you want to put the effort in.

An exact demonstration of what I mean. Even after proofreading and deciding that it was fine I still found a way to absolutely fail. Every time I make a move it's the wrong one, despite of how well I think I did.

[anothercliché]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Hello anothercliche,

No you are not mentally challenged, or slow or special. The correct term for that would be a 'learning disability' which you would have been born with, school would have supported you and you would actually be unaware of the issue compared to other people.

Reading you further, it is apparent that you either have a very self-deprecating sarcastic humour or you are truly down on yourself. If your self-esteem and view of yourself is that bad, it can make you doubt everything. You have described yourself as a moron and such, that's not going to give you any self confidence in making decisions and will also make you anxious in making any decisions. Depression can make us believe all sorts of dreadful things about ourselves. I'm not diagnosing you but it does sound like the dim view that you have of yourself is literally dragging you down!

Please go and see your doctor and look into therapy/medication and keep sharing with us.

I wouldn't describe myself as a depressive. From how I understand it (please note I'm statistically very likely to be wrong as usual) someone who is depressed loses there ability to see joy and value in life, has a low sense of self worth, and doesn't enjoy things they used to due to disinterest. However I see joy and value in human life and believe both have intrinsic worth, I'm just failing to utilize it properly leading to despair. I don't have a low perception of myself, I'm just a realist. I don't enjoy my hobbies not because I see no point in doing them anymore or because they don't hold my interest, but rather because everything I like doing everyone else does better than me. I fail to see the value in doing something when it's going to be of repulsive quality and I'm never going to be as good at it as everyone else is. I don't know what you'd call that but that is how I feel.

[Angelique67]

That's how I feel when I play solitaire or a video game or do anything else really. You can't stop everything just because someone else might be better at it. In time you'll find something you do really well. Until then try to have a meaningful life.

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by anothercliché

I wouldn't describe myself as a depressive. From how I understand it (please note I'm statistically very likely to be wrong as usual) someone who is depressed loses there ability to see joy and value in life, has a low sense of self worth, and doesn't enjoy things they used to due to disinterest. However I see joy and value in human life and believe both have intrinsic worth, I'm just failing to utilize it properly leading to despair. I don't have a low perception of myself, I'm just a realist. I don't enjoy my hobbies not because I see no point in doing them anymore or because they don't hold my interest, but rather because everything I like doing everyone else does better than me. I fail to see the value in doing something when it's going to be of repulsive quality and I'm never going to be as good at it as everyone else is. I don't know what you'd call that but that is how I feel.

Low self esteem? As for hobbies, in my opinion and how I approach them myself (when I have the energy) is to see them as something for me. The quality of another's work is irrelevant... A hobby in itself is something enjoyable to pass the time... Not for approval or recognition, but because 'you' take pleasure out of it. Not sure if that helps, as said, just how I see it.

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by anothercliché

From what I understand phschologists and therapists (I'm too dense to know what the difference is) help people who have been psychologically damaged or destroyed by an outside force. I haven't the outside world has been nothing but inviting to me, I'm just such an ungrateful lump of trash that I've taken the bounties of life and thrown them all back in its face. I don't think I am undeserving of professional help because I did this to myself, I was foolhardy enough to crash myself into the ground.

Hey Another Cliche,

Ever read about people with body dismorphia? They might be really thin but they see themselves as fat even though other people will tell them over and over that they're so not fat. Many times they're in what most would consider pretty good situations materially or family wise. Sometimes they have problems with trying to live up to perfectionist standards. Their are some fields of therapy that were developed specifically to treat this population. The psychologists did not bother wondering about whether they did this to themselves or not. No one would ever think to tell them to just cut it out.

I was once in a therapy group filled with Ph.D.s who had trouble handling relationships and just the day to day, life stuff that other people don't even think about. Many of them didn't see themselves as successful and saw themselves as trash.

Studies have shown that therapy can be helpful in improving the quality of some people's lives. Doesn't seem to matter what type of therapist or their training: clinical psychologist, social worker, marriage and family therapist. Weird thing is, it doesn't even matter what theory the therapist is using. The therapeutic relationship seems to be the key. Something about relationships can be healing and help create positive changes.

Just saying,
Swim

[anothercliché]

I wanted to start a new thread but decided against it as this is more an addition to this topic than it is a stand alone piece.
As I step ever further into adulthood and closer to being an independent man the more I grow enraged at the impenetrable complexities of everyday life. I feel I'm mentally incapable of grasping how anything in the world works despite the ease with which my peers grasp it. I can't even figure out the complexities of a Google+ and now a byzantine web of loans, taxes, social constructs, contradictory rules from debatable holders of power, responsabilities, and global events spin above my head, growing denser as I get ever closer to it. I always knew this stuff existed but before I seemed only to get a trickle of its infinite grandness whereas now it seems the whole thing is dropping right onto my head. Everything is so absurdly complicated in this age that I feel downright mentally crippled as I can't make head or tail of any of it, and I'm terrified of the day that I'll fall flat on my face and get trampled as I miserably fail to keep up with all of this crap. I feel so stupid all of the time because I can't deal with life.

[-jimi-]

Maybe your strong points are just different from other people's. Sadly, when someone is different, it is assumed they are just as bad as their worst sides where normals are seen as as good as their best sides.

It seems maybe you are a concrete thinker or a detail thinker? I can be and I know it brings a lot of weirdness into my life. Ever done the Myers-Briggs test?

[Just keep swimming]

I know what you mean about life seeming infinitly complicated. Thank goodness it only comes at me one day at a time. If I stopped and thought about it though (which I do sometimes), I would get paralyzed by the impossibility of being able to handle it. Kind of like stopping and thinking about how I know where the letters are while I'm typing. It makes it hard to type.

So I don't think it's that other people are fine with the complexity, I think they just don't worry about it like I do.

But, I've learned that usually the power company sends a note or calls before they cut off my power for forgetting to pay the bill. There are jobs where I can make big mistakes every once in a while and it's not a disaster. There's a lot of grace in the world, thank goodness. I was thrilled when my son learned to talk so that I knew that he could remind me if I forgot to feed him or something. (Ok, I only did that once, and he just grabbed food out of my hand, so turns out I didn't have to worry about forgeting to feed him.)

So yeah, I can't do life perfectly, but I am learning how to do it well enough. And therapy helped a bunch. So what the heck, start therapy, if the therapist does say, "Man up you whiny baby, there's nothing wrong with you", you can come back and start an "I told you so" thread. And it's OK, you don't have to have a diagnosis all figured out before you go.

A therapist should only go where you want to go and deal with whatever "insignificant" problem you have. You can alwys stop if you don't like it or if it seems worthless. You might just love it though. In any case, you'll probably make their day when you go.

And isn't counseling free in college?

[anothercliché]

I don't know what counseling is free and where. I am aware abuse/rape support and counseling is covered by the college on requirement of state law but I don't know about other counselling. I don't know, I'm going back tomorrow I'll see then if I'm free enough and feeling up to it.