Daily Comments #5- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

Ingredients on my yogurt: bacterial cultures, natural flavours and colours, and locust bean gum

.....locust bean gum....what are locust beans? Aren't locusts one of the insects in the ten plagues from the bible? Are locust beans unhatched bug eggs? Locust bean gum then would be......

look it up online. My imagination is running away with me again

I'm finding that the wanting is much better than the having. As in in isn't as great as I thought it would be to be back home. Still have to lie down most of the day, still have pain, still need to find a way to let go and let others "do" stuff for me. Glad to have Sir. I'm starting to hate getting out of bed. It's easier not to move. It just gets too frustrating, all the obstacles that stop me from doing what I want to. Need something down low,.... gotta wait for someone to come in and get it out, drop something to awkward or heavy for the reacher,... gotta wait...want something up high, nope not allowed to climb a ladder...can't drive. I've never been good with accepting no, or you can't but I don't want to go though any more surgeries so I gotta follow the rules. Besides, there is the pain penalty to pay if I do it my way. Never been a fan of pain either. Finally I might learn patience, a word I tried to teach my daughter because lord knows I have never had any. Always had plenty of patience for others especially animals and young kids but none for myself. Always thought it was too late. Now someone/thing is having a great laugh on me! I'm sure glad I bought a bunch of 007 movies at the half price book store before the surgery.

Side, patience is something I am having to learn, also. My father never had it in his younger years but has improved as he aged. I was very patient in my youth but am losing it as I age. Go figure.

I can't get this song out of my head! I mean it's a good song, but it's like the same part is repeating over and over again. I hate ear worms!

Which one? Oh no...if ya tell me will I be singin' it all day too? It's not th' Camelot Python tune izzit? Hey!...I'm gonna go listen to that on Youtube fer a chuckle...been meaning to! Right now mattera fact! Youtube...it's a silly place...on second thought...nope no second thought...goin' there now!

Let's not go to Camelot... It's a Silly Place

Now I'M singing the Camelot tune!!!! ARGHH!!!

We're the Knights of the Round Table
We dance when we are able...

What's on m'mind??? This ain't the spot to share likely but fer as long as it lasts...'aul up yer trousers and let yer feet think about this wit' me...Give 'er! Dare ya to muck wit' us now, youse mid-week miseries!!

After everything my H has put me through, I was determined to done with the relationship. Since his sister passed last week, he's so fragile and I feel so sorry for him. I've been through every emotion one can feel these last 6 years ...from hatred to still feeling compassion. Guess I'm guilty of having too much compassion. This is confusing.

I cleaned the burnt on grease off the stove at work. The cook is thrilled. Work went alright today but I keep worrying about hiring a wellness coach or taking more online classes. Not sure what I want.

Ok, so this is stupid. I have at least dozen friends on my facebook of people I used to go to school with, havent really seen or talked to any of them. Occasionally we message each other and see how one or the other is doing.

Anyway this one butt head on there, I message last night to chit chat and what not and he starts complaining about me not hanging out with him and being a real friend and says some other off the wall things about not having a conversation with him, etc.

I in return say "do you realize you are making assumptions without eveen intiating a conversation yourself?" and then he deleted me............lol........WOW! REALLY?! I didn't even do anything to this guy but be nice and at least initiate small talk with him and he deletes me! lol

tomorrow my brother is seeing a therapist

BAD THOUGHTS!!! Nothing like spontaneously crying throughout the day whenever I experience a sexual thought, read the word "sex," or witness something sexual. Makes me want to crawl into a corner and lay there in the fetal position .

Castles I hope you're not bothered too much by that. You can't be responsible. Unless of course you verbally dragged him thru a thornbush first. Hope it's all ok with you.

I'm not interested in competing for attention

I'm aware people in my town worry about crime. It's a valid worry, considering where I live. However, I become angry at those who automatically assume a person of color is also a criminal - especially when their fear, distrust and hatred are obvious.

My son (adult black male) walked to a gas station recently. When he approached a woman waiting at the intersection waiting for the light to turn red, she became nervous and placed a tighter grip on her purse. When the light turned green, she hesitated as if to form a "safe distance" between them. As he walked toward the entrance of the gas station, he noticed she had walked over to the bus stop.

She was still at the bus stop when he walked out. When he passed by, she became nervous again and pretended to look down the street for the bus in order to avoid eye contact. It made my son angry, thinking "Are THESE the people I risked my life for overseas in the military?"

After he crossed the street and headed towards home, he turned around to look at her again. She was on her way into the gas station, so he waited to see what she would do. Sure enough, she by-passed the bus stop, crossed the intersection and was headed back towards him. He just shook his head, walked on ahead, and went home. He knows her fear is not his problem, but this happens often with my son....simply because of his skin color/race. It wears on his soul, and it makes me angry.

It's a shame "neighbors" don't know how to acknowledge each other. I hope and pray I never see that woman at a Veterans Day celebration. If I do, she'll get an earful from me.

My husband told my son he should have waited for the woman to approach him on her way home. Upon eye contact, he could have said "I'm flattered at the lengths you went to in order to garner my attention, but I'm already taken and not at all interested in you." Of course, he was not serious.....but I would have enjoyed watching her reaction.

"I'm aware people in my town worry about crime. It's a valid worry, considering where I live. However, I become angry at those who automatically assume a person of color is also a criminal - especially when their fear, distrust and hatred are obvious" Quote Kathy

It is sad, but perhaps your son should also be angry at those of color that "do" commit crimes, because unfortunately they "are" out there. And the other thing he should consider it that this woman may have some kind of history of abuse as well. Or, as you say this is an area where there is a lot of crime, so perhaps this woman has already been attacked or robbed and this is her behavior now. I wonder if black women also look around nervous as well and your son might not notice them and only thinks about racism or profiling.

If your son notices this and he looks back, follows this woman with his eyes and has any angry expression on his face, did he ever think he is sending her a message that she "should" be frightened?
If he had a chance to say anything to her, does it have to be something that is "mean spirited"?

I have had situations where I have been raped and attacked ok? And one of the things I had to really get courage up to do is to go into troubled areas and work. I made a decision to "not profile" and give it a chance. When I worked for these families, it wasn't always easy to find a place to park and I was by myself and nervous. However, I was very kindly greeted and they made it a point to be nice, make me feel safe and it was a "pleasant experience" for me, helped me overcome some fears too. I happen to be the "only one" that will go into these areas that are known to also be higher crime areas too.

I even went into the projects as well, and it was like going into a city all of it's own, and yes there were mostly "black families" there. I had told the woman beforehand that hired me that I could only stay for the aloted time because I had another event. I told her my big concern was that if other families noticed me they might crowd around and I didn't want to have children upset finding out that I was only there for "her" children.
The woman assured me that this would not happen, however it did happen and instead of there only being 9 children there were maybe 60 or more. And the woman kept adding more children to the line, it was clear she was "intimidated" more than me. I steped up to the line and firmly asked the woman to put "her" children in the line and that I was sorry but I only had time for "her party and her children". Well, instead of these people getting angry and pushing me around, they "respected that" and I managed to get that job done and be ok. And I actually thought it was a nice place and would not mind going back there. However if I was given dirty looks and disrespected because I really was the only white person there, it would have only sent me the message "be afraid they don't like you because you are white and they may think you are not giving the other children rides because you are mean white lady".

Also I do know the difference because I have had people use that race anger at me and even though I did have that happen, I still gave it another try. I really don't want to be a "racial profiler" I don't like it. And it doesn't have to be that way. It took a lot of courage for me to give it another try, it was the "understanding and kindness" that keeps me comfortable about "going back".

Open Eyes

I guess, my overall point is, that it works better if instead of being angry that there "can be" racial profiling or fear, rising above that does better at turning that fear into actually feeling comfortable and even "enjoying" others that are a different race, whether black or white or whatever. It truely is so unfortunate that it happens and I can understand the "anger". However, I do know first hand that the people I encounter are aware and yet somehow they figured out how to push that away and just be understanding and nice.
It worked for me and I am glad I have had that opportunity.

resilience - The ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune; buoyancy

Sometimes I think ones "resilience" can be broken.. Or maybe there is a limit to their "resilience". How many times does one bounce back...

family problems because of too much stress over the visiting relative

my brother is violent he is getting a psych consult...

Thanks for this, I just finished a rant on how I feel and this made me feel much better. I might not feel/be up to frolicking and step danc'n or spin'n on me 'ead. but it cheered me non the less.

Todays thoughts don't get planted, I do not want to grow negative energy. They do not deserve that much consideration. Instead today I'm planting;

OOOMMMM, OOOMMM, OOOMMM

So anyway yeah I missed you guys too

Some people do not deserve to be forgiven of their injustices towards you. Forgiving them makes one weak and dulls your mind to what they did, inviting the same thing to happen again, and that just won't happen. Ever.