Daily Comments #8 - Just a place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

I can't help it if I'm not positive all the time. I don't know if I'm a good friend or not.

till today i wonder how i got depression.

I was panicking today for a good two hours because my fiance is in the hospital for pneumonia and high fever. They said it was a heat stroke at first. Anyway, it has me all worried. And he kept trying to sign himself out of the hospital because he has a high fever and is incoherent. I couldn't go to the hospital today because he lives in another town and I had to do something with my father. I'm going tomorrow. Anyway, I was full out in worry mode for two hours. And I didn't take any anxiety medication either to calm me down. I just dealt with it. I feel much better now. Much much better. I'm calm. Thank goodness.

It is going to be in the 90's again this weeks which means I can not take a nap in my car for lunch I never feel rested and I rely on that nap to make it through the rest of the day. I get up exhausted.

so far, I really don't have that much to say. All I can say is that there's music in my head that just won't disappear. it's getting quieter, however, but I would rather it be completely drowned out so that I can focus on what's going on in the external world.

it all comes back to haunt you...
i can't lie no more, i can't hide no more, got to be true to myself...--alex clare
this happens when i'm confessing all my past guilt.

I'm so proud of both my daughters and special congratulations to my 15 yr old who just finished grade 10. Last year she missed Honor Role by 2% with a 78 average. At the beginning of this year she made goals, to get the best grades she good and did she ever. She got an overall average of 96% and even got 100 in 2 subjects. Math isn't her strongest subject plus she had a bad teacher. She had 55(math) at the beginning of the semester and ended up with an 85. Our school board has this service called Homework Help for math - teachers volunteer online to help kids with math and she went on every night and got an 89 on her exam. She'll not only get Honor Role but also the prestigious Principals Role for students who get above 90%. She also has excellent integrity. My youngest also got A's and B's for grade 5 and I'm equally proud.

congratulations, lynn p.

The more you cry about what others say, the less you'll be able to say.

Thank you ((heyitsme7)).

This evenings commute was, a million times better!! Each way, 1 wrong turn resulted in *aha*, I am dumping MapQuest and GPS for good!! That's right! And with the one wrong turn, each way...*aha*, I know exactly where I am now! Hmphhhhhhhhhh

Not sure when I became this.

I'm grateful that I'm living but all the stress puts me down. I haven't had too much stress compared to last month. I was so stressed I couldn't even eat most of my dinner.

Last year I thought I could be helpful to people, and visa versa, I wasn't, and I'm glad I don't feel the need to be where I'm not wanted. And, that's progress for me.

i used to mind people's businesses a lot. whenever there's a conversation that seems to interest me, I butt in. Gosh, why am i so nosy?

A fly just flew by. I was like when did he/she get in here?

I feel anxious. Why can't I just be happy with the place I live in now. I can't afford anything else. Rentals have skyrocketed.

I can't believe I'm worried about him. It's not like I want him back in my life. I guess I should avoid that place. The mere thought of seeing our mutual friends reminds me of my anger. Why do I feel like this? I'm not even in love with him. It's just some dumb crush. I refuse to talk to him even though I know I deserve an explanation.

It annoyed me that someone thought that I'm fine and not mentally ill. How does he know me? He has never been in my shoes. He doesn't have to deal with annoying voices and the irritating rushing thoughts.

I am so incredibly tired even though I got a good night's sleep. I don't feel well either.

Wasn't there for the conversation but maybe he was merely implying that you don't "seem" crazy and didn't mean it offensively but more as a compliment ..meaning you seem to have it together more than you think you do....

so I have my daughter for the week and at the last minute the ex wants to know what my plans are for the dog.
I dont have any....i have an apartment and IMO that is no place for a 50 pound dog.
So after she belittles me and lets me know how she is trapped since we cannot affor do board her...guess where she is?!?

So I take her out first thing. 15 minutes later nothing...does not p, does not poo.
Take her back inside...she is restless...whines...I take her BACK out....15 minutes later nothing...no p, no poo. I take her back inside. She is so annoying at this point i crate her cause I cant take her any longer!
My daughter wants to take her out again. We do and the dog FINALLY pees. No poo.
I crate her again because its time to take my daughter to summer camp.

I get back, walk the damn dog all over creation and she FINALLY poops. We finish our walk and come back to the apartment where she promptly pisses on my floor !!!

I put her on my enclosed patio while I clean that up and guess what? The god damned dog poops all over the patio and then throws up.
Now I am REEEEELY
I bring her in my apartment and crate her to clean up THAT mess and she effing throws up AGAIN!

She must be stressed out or something...but geeze I had her outside with PLENTY of time to do her god damned business and she STILL abuses my apartment. If my daughter was not totaly in love with this dog, we would be our way to the humane society where she would be promptly left.

We have had her for 2 1/2 years and I STILL cannot figure this dog out. It's like she needs a fricking invitation to pee and poop.

Oh dear! It reads funny but I'm sure all that was well annoying! Hugs

Is it 'normal' not to mention some ones death after a certain point?

I'm just confused like usual right now, with 'how things work'
I just realize , no one on my 'in real life friends' posted or talked about our friend last week (fb is my connection with them all). It was back in 2009, .... I haven't forgotten, I still miss him.
I mentioned him in a post on fb, guess I'm the odd one?
Sigh, I am sure I'm not the only one that remembers, and I realize I'm the touchy one with 'not suppose to talk about it?' And getting upset about that 'don't talk about it' style.
I just don't understand I guess, ...

I am so very glad I missed my reunion! Just saw, the photo highlights and comments...one, I don't ever want to have alcohol when around them, two, nice, um, not so nice pics of others, three, the hey--share one reunion memory of me online, thing, I don't know, it seemed, just not quite right, some of the comments.
And then, there was something else, on this closed fb page, just annoyed the p out of me!! ((it was about someone, other than me, but man oh man...))
I don't feel I'll be at 25 nor 30 nor 35 and beyond....forget these people, OMG