Daily Comments #8 - Just a place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

wondering whether i'll ever click with this new pdoc.

I really want my asthma to stop acting up so much!

I can't make you love me. But I am willing to put my heart on the line one last time. Trying my hardest not to be motherless. (sigh)

What is that thing flying around my window?

why am i not completely free from my bad habits? Ughhh....
I want to quit and please allow me to. stop coming back to me already!

I'm seeing T tomorrow and I both want to run TO him and run AWAY from him.
What the hell is happening to me? Why am I investing so many emotions on this man? He is just doing his job. Poor guy, how can he even put up with all my ****?

It's too hot to do anything here, us Brits aren't used to this hot weather. Someone scrape me off the floor, I'm melting!

It's odd, eventually I will leave, but yet at the same time I'm a little excited to learn the other teams actual job. I know it enough to fill in at times but not all of it..... I may move over.

I'm glad I'm realizing too where some of my odd loyalty comes from..... I was hired back in the day entirely off of faith, I didn't do an interview. Then later in a spot I was to do another interview and didn't, so my odd loyalty is coming together...but old dude has been gone for years, exsuperdooper has been moved.... And hey if the boss' boss' son (yeah boss' boss) says yeah go grab something else if ya can, get out cuz everyone else wants to, sigh I think company manager that allowed these slides for me would be ok with me leaving.
I owe no one anything in other words

it's too bad i dont get to hang out as much as i do. this is going to be my last year in hs and i will be moving on pretty quickly. the school has already received a new principal and so far the students aren't liking him. uh-oh. i just hope that some of the sophomores that we have now are going to leave and go to the school where our former principal is now working at. for some reason i just don't seem to like them no matter what. I mean I don't know them or anything but for some reason their presence just makes me feel...idk...i just want them to leave, just like others have seen me as someone threatening at the moment so they're like dude just leave already.

And with it so hot here, why have I got this tune stuck in my head... 'The sun ain't gonna shine any more...' Weird.

i have had a history with mean girls. they are all just so malicious. these four girls were all asians and were catholic. i have had bad experiences with them. one accused me of stalking them simply because i was following one of their friends around and also because i was lonely and didn't have any friends. another one called me a doofus and got me in trouble. i felt like i was wrestling an evil spirit when she was around. she was like wnat me to get you in trouble again? yeah nobody believed me when i told my counselors and dean that she was that mean to me. she totally got away with it. she never felt bad about it i guess. she called me special ed and retarded and i was like well at least my cousins aren't retarded like that one of yours.

Finally, the annoying thoughts have stopped hurting me. Freedom

Sitting in the front yard petting a laid-back fuzzy bumblebee=great way to start my morning. Open up my mailbox and a spider wants to hand me my mail=no thanks.

I can't stop eating these candies, please someone take them away from me!

Oh alright then!

I wish I was "perfect". I don't have perfect skin. My face is slightly red near the cheeks and the forehead. I think I have rosacea. I'm slightly podgy because I stuffed myself. I don't know why, I guess it's something deeper. I find that eating food gives me excitement. I'm doing yoga and I have defeated my coca cola "addiction" for once. I drink water and juice now. I haven't drank coca cola in a while. I do drink it in a can occasionally but not everyday. I have given up something and I'm proud that I have done that. I need to be nice to myself more.

You know what's interesting about this guy that I have for government during the summer. he told me that we would never be able to become president because we would be undergoing a lot of stress which then results in gray hair, unrecognizable faces and things like that. He's like,our people only want to go shopping and have fun. They will never become president. I was like I kind of agree and disagree with his point he's trying to make.

i once believed in ghosts because of some stupid stories that I was told at a young age. I don't believe in them anymore. I feel like adults shouldn't scare little kids like that cuhs then someday they'll be like,"Mom, Dad, why didn't you tell us the truth?" "We wanted to, but you guys were too young to accept a true story." Lol.

of course I was told by teachers that those things existed. they even had a llorona person where she drowns little kids. I couldn't sleep that night in fifth grade. then my friend reported the next day that he heard something in his room and i was like that can't be true. maybe it's something that he didn't know. he shouldn't be scared. and our fifth grade teacher--the mean one--always did what he arbitrarily did. sometimes he wanted to teach spelling, sometimes he wanted to focus on math. He focused primarily on english and math. science and history was his least favorite i think. he thought that since we're going to learn it again, I guess we don't need to take it all. Because we weren't tested on history and science, he probably thought that he didn't need to cover it and that it was superfluous.

Motivation for degree....working in a hot sweaty warehouse.....sucks

Ugh. Get over it.

walking for an hour and a half felt really good, I blew it when i came home by eating too much now I feel so full and discouraged.

Just spent a couple hours cleaning the house, though I woke up my mom a couple times. =/

I hate my hair. And I hate this person.

I am sitting here, eyes just ready to close. Was tired before, but that 30minute anxiety attack, did me in. Actual, anxiety attacks, like this, are not frequent to me. I'm trying to think of the last one, like this. Definitely, before May, before my promotion.

Takes effort to not let them overtake me. They are very physical for me, very real, and wow...