[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

Your quotation marks button is stuck ... ""

Lol. Funny! Yeah, I tend to do that sometimes. And why are you following me again for anyway??

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Lol. Funny! Yeah, I tend to do that sometimes. And why are you following me again for anyway??

Well ... because that nice guy knocked on my door and gave me that piece of paper from you that says ...

... no closer than 100 yards ...

No CLOSER? Oh no, I thought it said no further. Well, time to get the sign back on the lawn again ...

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by anna_goth27

Thank you. I am trying to stay positive and do my best to keep my head above water by not allowing things (especially my coworker) get to me. I know Ive tried my best when it comes to my work and everyone is entitled to mistakes. And I also know that I never had done anything with malicious intent, despite what anyone thinks. Its just really a matter right now of trying to forgive myself more so than forgive them because I honestly dont blame her for being mad. I blame myself for making her mad. I wish that since I started of following instructions (and therefore lying by omission) that I had just continued lying and not allowed my emotions at that split second to get the best of me and make me confess.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Tapatalk

We all make mistakes and it sounds like in the end you did what was right instead of continuing down a less than ethical path. In today's world it seems that people would rather we deceive others (as you said, lying by omission) or not perform our jobs ethically.

So while we need to consider other's emotions, sometimes the best thing is that they be upset because doing what is right isn't always pleasant.

Just hang in there. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished ... but you're laying the ground work later for honesty in your life.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

Well ... because that nice guy knocked on my door and gave me that piece of paper from you that says ...


No CLOSER? Oh no, I thought it said no further. Well, time to get the sign back on the lawn again ...

LMAO! That's ok, I kinda like having you as a side kick!

I'm done with real life people, at least on a personal basis. There's no point. Everything they say are lies and/or lip service. And I might as well not exist. Oh well, my phone is turned off now. Maybe I'll check it once or twice a week for messages at least until all the money owed to me is paid off. And then, there's no point. No one listens anyway. Not even the people I thought would listen.

There's so much more I should say, but most will be censored out.

No matter what happens I'll always be empty inside. And now that I'm going back to school, I'll three more years of reasons to be alive. After that, I'll end up jobless and homeless and certainly without medication of any kind…or worse yet, having to move back in with my parents and never get anywhere in life. Not like I have anyway.

I just hope I live long enough to watch the world burn. Then I'll die happy.

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Darlin' maybe you're an "over achiever", and the mundane tasks aren't challenging enough for you so you over complicate them.

Sorry I didn't answer this before…I forget about the older posts.

I am an over achiever, but I have to be. It's been the only way to have people value me for most of my life. And it's the only way to have a chance at a career in a male-dominated field if you're unfortunately "female". You have to be 10 times better than a guy at the same thing to even be considered equal. How am I ever supposed to get a job unless I so utterly dominate and destroy (metaphorically) every other candidate in the process? And my specialty and field is dying out because no one cares about the arts anymore (at least not enough to pay a living wage to the creators of said art) so there aren't many jobs anyway. I have to be a jack of all trades and a master of ALL.

Besides, they have higher expectations for me than other students and I have to keep on everyone's good side so I can get recommendations.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

Sorry I didn't answer this before…I forget about the older posts.

I am an over achiever, but I have to be. It's been the only way to have people value me for most of my life. And it's the only way to have a chance at a career in a male-dominated field if you're unfortunately "female". You have to be 10 times better than a guy at the same thing to even be considered equal. How am I ever supposed to get a job unless I so utterly dominate and destroy (metaphorically) every other candidate in the process? And my specialty and field is dying out because no one cares about the arts anymore (at least not enough to pay a living wage to the creators of said art) so there aren't many jobs anyway. I have to be a jack of all trades and a master of ALL.

Besides, they have higher expectations for me than other students and I have to keep on everyone's good side so I can get recommendations.

We are naturally born better than men! (sorry, just got my heart stomped on by one & I'm extremely toxic right now! So anything I say at this point may be poison.) I understand your position though. Just don't develop a "self-defeating" attitude by becoming your own worst enemy, ok? I only WISH I could have stayed in college! And I admire your dedication to your dream! I've about abandoned all hope on ALL of my dreams. I hope one day to hear your Success story! Go out & score one for "our team", ok?

When I see that something I've posted has like 80 views, but no comments, likes, thanks, or hugs, I seriously question myself. It must have sucked, then. I guess nobody wanted to read it. Maybe it was too long, like the definition of "tl;dr," which on urbandictionary.com is "said whenever a nerd makes a post that is too long to bother reading."

It isn't just here. I can't even get my own family interested in reading anything I write. I tell my husband or my daughters I've written something, and it's all, "I don't have time right now," but then they don't want to pin down when they will have time, and then somehow they just never get around to reading it. If they ever do, here come the eye rolls and the heavy sighs. They're just reading it to humor me. OK, OK, I get the hint. You don't care, and you aren't interested. I suck.

Should I just give up on the whole idea? Or more accurately, HOW LONG AGO should I have given up on the whole idea?

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

We are naturally born better than men! (sorry, just got my heart stomped on by one & I'm extremely toxic right now! So anything I say at this point may be poison.) I understand your position though. Just don't develop a "self-defeating" attitude by becoming your own worst enemy, ok? I only WISH I could have stayed in college! And I admire your dedication to your dream! I've about abandoned all hope on ALL of my dreams. I hope one day to hear your Success story! Go out & score one for "our team", ok?

I'm doing all of this at what cost though? There's three years that I won't be able to date…even if I magically found someone that wasn't put off by being attracted to me (which is very confusing to me), I'll be in the "wrong part of my life" for them anyway. So I give up one dream for another. It's with medication—either I'm able to enjoy sexual feeling or I don't have anxiety quite as badly (even though now it's bad enough I can't leave my apartment). You can't have both—and at the moment I can have neither.

So my entire life has been having to choose career or love and friendship.

OK. Unheard and unanswered here in this thread, too.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Lovebird

OK. Unheard and unanswered here in this thread, too.

I'm here. Sorry, I just woke up & read this. I am nothing but an outcast, a reject, but I'll answer you if you want to talk to me. Are you ok?

I am feeling a bit better now. For the second night in a row, I couldn't sleep very well. It's possible meds were discontinued too soon, but I don't want to jump right back on the whole regimen. I'm having enough trouble trying to remember to take my insulin, just that. If I have to remember insulin AND anti-depressants, AND probably other stuff too, something is going to fall through the cracks.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Lovebird

I am feeling a bit better now. For the second night in a row, I couldn't sleep very well. It's possible meds were discontinued too soon, but I don't want to jump right back on the whole regimen. I'm having enough trouble trying to remember to take my insulin, just that. If I have to remember insulin AND anti-depressants, AND probably other stuff too, something is going to fall through the cracks.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better. Right now I feel like I'M what's falling through the cracks in my life & my"relationships" My eyes are swollen most completely shut from crying myself to sleep at around 2am, so I'm not sure how much good I'll be to you, but I'll try to help you any way I can!

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Lovebird

When I see that something I've posted has like 80 views, but no comments, likes, thanks, or hugs, I seriously question myself. It must have sucked, then. I guess nobody wanted to read it. Maybe it was too long, like the definition of "tl;dr," which on urbandictionary.com is "said whenever a nerd makes a post that is too long to bother reading."

It isn't just here. I can't even get my own family interested in reading anything I write. I tell my husband or my daughters I've written something, and it's all, "I don't have time right now," but then they don't want to pin down when they will have time, and then somehow they just never get around to reading it. If they ever do, here come the eye rolls and the heavy sighs. They're just reading it to humor me. OK, OK, I get the hint. You don't care, and you aren't interested. I suck.

Should I just give up on the whole idea? Or more accurately, HOW LONG AGO should I have given up on the whole idea?

This is reason that I only answer posts and don't start many where I actually have questions. I wish I could offer more, but I know in my case I tend to surround myself With selfish people that are only interested in their own concerns. I've given up my writing because I can't even get loved ones to read it.

Long story short, never count on replies here. At best, just consider anything you get a bonus.

Even though I explain to my husband, friends and family law how very depressed I am, sometimes I feel unheard because they don't understand it, have never been there and therefore can't vocalize their empathy as much or as often as I'd like. I definitely feel heard and understood on this site though.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

This is reason that I only answer posts and don't start many where I actually have questions. I wish I could offer more, but I know in my case I tend to surround myself With selfish people that are only interested in their own concerns. I've given up my writing because I can't even get loved ones to read it.

Long story short, never count on replies here. At best, just consider anything you get a bonus.

Welcome back Webgoji! I've missed you! We must run in the same circle! I'm made to feel like an unwanted outcast even when I'm trying to HELP someone with their problems, and then to be told that I'm being selfish (for wanting to help, & getting my feelings hurt because my offer was rejected!) So I'm a sorry P.O.S. any way I go! Guess I just need to butt-out and stop giving a ****! (in rl at least)

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by newgal2

Even though I explain to my husband, friends and family law how very depressed I am, sometimes I feel unheard because they don't understand it, have never been there and therefore can't vocalize their empathy as much or as often as I'd like. I definitely feel heard and understood on this site though.

I know what you mean. PC is my ONLY refuge to feel like anyone on this earth understands me! I'm glad it helps you too.

I hear all of you. If it were ONLY this one site, I would maybe think there just wasn't much traffic. I'm on Facebook a lot, and I try to at least hit the Like button when it's appropriate, to let people know I read their post. It doesn't seem right to hit "Like" when they're posting something like, "My grandma passed away," but in that case I'll put something like "hugs" or "prayers" in the comment section.

But I can post the same thing here and on Facebook and maybe other places too, and not only are there no comments, but no likes or hugs or anything else to let me know people saw it. Here, I can see how many views something has had, but then if it's had a high number of views and no comments or likes, I think, "Well, I guess they didn't like it, then."

Now, how's this for a zinger.... Last night I was just about to confide in my husband how I felt unheard, and shoved aside, and I didn't even have a chance to get the words out of my mouth when he cut me off with, "Can this wait a minute?" Wow. Point proven, right there. And he could NOT figure out why that hurt me.

[Webgoji]

I would never suggest Facebook to anyone. I could post a suicide letter on it and would get two "likes". Facebook is awful.

However, I think your husband needs to go to couples counseling. If he won't go, then I guess you need to weigh it all your options. If he's too busy for his wife and marriage then he really needs to reconsider what he wants in life.

[lala-land123]

I always feel unheard. Not just on the web but also in life. Kids don't listen, boyfriend cuts me off, and... okay I'll stop.

Originally Posted by lala-land123

I always feel unheard. Not just on the web but also in life. Kids don't listen, boyfriend cuts me off, and... okay I'll stop.

Extra hugs.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by lala-land123

I always feel unheard. Not just on the web but also in life. Kids don't listen, boyfriend cuts me off, and... okay I'll stop.

I am right there with ya darlin! Kids, boyfriend, yep, LOTS OF PAIN right now! I'm sorry for what you're going through!

Originally Posted by Lovebird

OK. Unheard and unanswered here in this thread, too.

I heard/read but I didn't have anything helpful to say…I sat and thought and I couldn't think of anything. And I don't give hugs in real life, so it would be disingenuous to give hugs on here…check my profile if you don't believe me—I haven't given a hug to anyone on here and it isn't personal.

I know I'm the villain on here and no matter what I say or do (or not say or do) I'm always angering/annoying other people.

Aaaaaaaaand I'll quietly see myself out now...

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

I heard/read but I didn't have anything helpful to say…I sat and thought and I couldn't think of anything. And I don't give hugs in real life, so it would be disingenuous to give hugs on here…check my profile if you don't believe me—I haven't given a hug to anyone on here and it isn't personal.

I know I'm the villain on here and no matter what I say or do (or not say or do) I'm always angering/annoying other people.

Aaaaaaaaand I'll quietly see myself out now...

I'm feeling better and less full of gripe now. It's me. Not you. You're no more a villain on here than anybody else, and sometimes people just get angry or annoyed no matter what anybody does.

[Weepingrose]

I feel that I am unheard all the time...When I try and talk to either my husband or a family member so called friends I use to think they hear what I am saying but the truth is I guess they are not they let what I say go in one ear and out the other....And if I do say something and they reply everything is my fault im in the wrong. I am so tired of feeling so unheard and I am lonely and very sad. Sheila (weepingrose)