Do grief support groups help? I'm desperate :(

Okay, it is going on 3 yrs., I thought I was doing alright and accepting my beloved dad's passing (11/26/02) but have discovered I really haven't, a lot of potentially destructive behaviour I think is coming from this.
I often wonder if this is an unconsciencious (sp?) way of wanting to join him, but I won't, I have a kid I love, and need to see his life goes well.
I don't know if this is making sense, if not disregard this.
I digressed, but do grief support groups help? Like help in the sense, help make the going easier to live with?
I need something, the denial has passed, and I'm falling apart without my dad being here on this earth
I miss him, more than words can express.
Thanks for listening

DE

Have you been on http://www.msn.com and looked at groups all types but maily for grielf and loss forum. I know it isn't easy to just let it go. But it all happens and some point. If you want you could tell me how you felt at the time. I remember being sad, dissapointed, confused, morbid etc.... {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{DE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Or go to http://www.google.com and type in support groups for grief and loss.

(((((((Darkeyes))))))))

I understand your pain hun. It is 20 years since I lost my Dad next Friday (July 15th). It still seems so surreal to me.

Have you tried looking into support groups? Try attending one and seeing how it makes you feel.

Special hugs to you xoxo

did you have the chance to say goodbye to your dad? I am not sure how I would react if my dad goes before me. death of a loved one is very hard. my prayers are with you.

I thank God, I did have time with him, and also shortly before he died in the hospital.
Due to trach. etc, he could no longer speak so we would have him write on a clipboard, he gave up with that, he knew he was dieing, it broke both of our hearts. He still could lip what he wanted to say, and it was "I love you kiddo and do not ever forget that". I told him, "daddy, I love you too".
I had to get back up north to home had stuff to take care of and then I thought I'd go back but it was too late, but at least I had that chance, we even were able to give a kiss goodbye.
I think I will check out grief support group that our local med center sponsers, it might help.
Thanks for your replies, dear people.

DE

Darkeyes- I lost my mom 9 yrs ago... from a veteran grief group person (also the reason i am pursueing counseling as well as teaching) the actual people group works for some. It is nice because when you need a hug, its there. also those people are the only ones who understand that you want to talk about it rather than trying to avoid the subject. I joined one after my mom died and ended up leading it later. Nothing heals personal pain like being able to help others get through theirs. It gives the pain meaning. Definately pursue the group- it is never too late, but procrastination does make it fester.

Thanks, so much I'm making a point to start going to th free meetings that are held at our local medical ctr.
I thank you for your encouragment

DE

Not a problem go you!!! and good luck!! and if you need to talk on here, let me know- death sucks- I know!

DE,

My Mother died 6 months ago from cancer which spread like wildfire after the surgery. She never admitted that she was dying because her surgeon was never truthful with her. I don't know if he thought she couldn't handle it or what, but he never was honest with me either. She only had hospice care in the nursing home 5 days before she died. They offered support groups for the family...being the only child...it was just me. I had so many other problems surrounding her death dealing with the trauma that the home care RN put me through while supposedly caring for my Mother. The support group seemed to be very helpful for others that went through the death of a relative. They are so professional in facilitating the groups. My problem is that I am not at the point of grieving yet.....I am still trying to sort out my fear from the trauma & the anger I have toward my Mother for getting us into that situation made expressing my feelings in a group like that totally inappropriate. My Pdoc & psychologists didn't know how to deal with trauma so I ended up floundering for months until I decided to go back to a psychologist I had 8 years ago.

There are many grief groups around, some associated with churches, others with hospice cares, hospitals, & some in communities provided situations. I can see where they are great to be able to communicate your feelings & be able to see how others are coping with their feelings. I talked with several of the hospice care people & they agreed that I need individual treatment because the situation was so different from others & getting through the fear I have because I don't know what the RN might do to me to protect herself from the police is constantly there when I am out in public. It was so hard for me because it seemed like no one could point me to a place for help or to someone who could help. I got pointed to finding an anorexia treatment center, then a PTSD treatment center, then nothing because I was physically & mentally so sick no one understood me & told me it was up to me to find what would help me.

I hope you can find the help that will provide you a way through your feelings. Find a group & go to it. You never know if it works unless you try. It is very good to get your internal feeling out & I'm sure you will find a feeling of freedom once you can do that. Talking with others who have gone through what you are dealing with is wonderful....I just wish I was lucky enough to find that.

I wish you the best in finding what will help you. It takes looking & trying, but don't give up....you will find what you need.

Debbie