2 1/2 months

since my father died. i miss him today. i've spent alot of my life thinking about, and missing, him...not having him.

why do i miss him so much? i never really had him to begin with. if anyone could have saved me, he could have but he was never there.

am i missing hopes and dreams or am i missing my father? i don't know and i really don't care. i miss my dad. i just got him back, then lost him forever. i've always grieved for my dad, it's just changed now.

i don't know what else to say. it hurts. it's always hurt. my thoughts go to my father today and it's like, "he's not out there anywhere." he always used to be out there somewhere (overseas, in war, at work, out of state, drinking, etc.), just not available. now, he'll never be.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say.

kd

(((((((((Kimmy))))))))))))

I'm so sorry, Kimmy.

I think you are grieving many things.

Take care of yourself.

Know you are loved.

((((( Kim )))))

Petunia

hi kimmy......so sorry about your loss and the sorrow you are feeling......and believe me.i understand what you are trying to say and you have said it well.....i feel much the same way you do .....i lost my dad many years ago and i still miss him everyday....we miss it all.......what we had, what we wish we had had, what we didn't have and what we never will have....the bond between a father and daughter is so special......i wish that i could tell you that it will get easier...i think that it changes...from a stabbing pain to a dull ache that never goes away.and in some crazy way....i don't think we would ever want it to......