[Lexicon78]

I miss my mom so much. For those of you who don't know, she died from cancer last year. I don't know how to deal with her death. I write a lot about her. Tomorrow I'll go in and talk to my t about her...how much I miss her, how I wish she were still here...all of that. I miss everything about her. From the way she smelled to the things she did for me. That's a lot of ground to cover. I even miss her bigoted comments about other people. I wish I had it all back.

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((((((((Lexicon))))))))))))))))))))))) I hope for peace for you soon.

[ozzie]

((((((((((Lexi)))))))))))))

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((Lex))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Your post has really touch me. I hope that by talking to your T, you will feel a little more at peace.

Have you ever thought about making a scrap book about your mother so that everytime you feel sad, you can just look through it and feel comforted. Just a thought.

Hugs for you ((((((((((((((((((Lex)))))))))))))))))))))

[BlueFaith]

((((((((((lex)))))))))))))

You can still IM me or PM me anytime.

((((((((Lexicon))))))))

[wisewoman]

Hi lex, the only comfort I can offer is that I believe she is still watching and you can still talk with her from your memory place. I am sorry for your pain. I am sorry for your loss.

[darkeyes]

((((((((((( Lexicon78 ))))))))))

Nov. will be 3yrs. since I lost my beloved dad, and it still is hard, so I feel for you and the rest of us with broken hearts. Please take care, and know we are here.

Sincerely,
DE

[ZuZu]

Lexicon,
My mother died 5 months ago today at 12:17 pm ( Tx time).If I didn't know better after reading your post I'd swear we were talking about the same person and same sort of mother daughter relationship!
My mother had me when she was 15 years old so it was if we grew up together. I had 2 younger brothers who we buried much too early. Oldest died in car wreck at 18, Oct. 17th 1974. The youngest killed himself while staying with my exhusband and I, Nov. 5th 1976.
Now sadly it is just me. Like you I find myself overwhelmed with grief, quilt, and a feeling that I don't want to continue.
At 5:30 this morning I sat down at my computer and typed in a search engine, " Oh mom I miss you so much, I want to die."
I believe as in the post from Wisewoman, my mother had a hand in directing me to this site and your post.
We have to believe that things will get better. Our mother's would want that.
In the meantime I find myself running to the telephone to call her whether it is bad news or good. Here lately it seems to be all bad. I'm still trying to deal with her house and her possessions. I still have her phone on at her house, and when I'm there and call my house to check messages. When I get home and see her name on my callerID I go to pieces.
This is the first time I've related my feelings since her death. I have to admit it does feel a little better.
I'm glad I came to this site and I'm sorry it was for this reason. If you need to talk or vent to anyone Lexicon I'm here. I think I will be here for quite sometime.

i miss my mom too. she died in 1999. i had moved home to care for her and it was really hard after she passed away. and to this day, i think of questions that i want to ask both my parents. i miss them very much.

[ARiver]

I too miss my Mom, and hurt for those that miss thier Moms too. As I am replying to your message I am crying my heart out for you as well as for me. I do believe they are still with us. I too understand about the phone calls. I completely understand your pain.
If you ever need to talk you can PM me anytime.

[ZuZu]

ARiver,
Thanks for the sweet reply. It's Saturday and I just got back from my mom's house. Seems like every Sat. still go to pieces. My mom had 2 dogs she made me promise to put to sleep when she died. I know at some point I will have to but not now not today. I do feel like this website has been the best thing thats happened in a long time.. Thanks again for your thoughts. Might take you up on the PM, and you feel free to do also.