My Dearest Jane

thanks. I was at the burial of my friend's ashes today and it was pooring rain. Sherriffs lead the caravan. Mostly because we were afraid of fighting breaking out. Blue knoights were there. Lots of people. As my friend's son put the urn into the ground I was awestruck at the reality and the finality all at once. That beautiful box we had picked out now buried. We filled the hole. So in a way I know it with this friend who only died 9/11. But with my Jane I can only know that it still seems impossible unreal.

((((((((((((((( wise )))))))))))))))))))

Thanks Ms. Silver, my we have become strangers.

I wrote Jane's hubby a few days ago and sent him pics of our family. I explained that if it was okay I wanted him to know my kids. Tonight I called him and he was so very kind. I am still having trouble with the reality of my Jane being gone. I want to speak with her. I told her hubby that I spoke with her all of the time about parenting well. I miss her and the words of wisdom.

She was lucky to have such a loving friend.

aND i AM LUCK pETUNIA TO HAVE YOU.

2 years? Is it possible? I am so sad for missing one who held my life and secrets and love all at her heart. And I still don't think it's fair that she had to die when so many cruel ones live on. I miss her. I miss that she is my onlyu connection to the past, my history, my origin. I am sad that I grow older and more "unabled" and I was just a kid, she was middle aged, what happened?

It isn't fair. I suspect that life is not meant to be fair. We hurt and we cry and we mourn. Still, I am glad for you that you did have someone in your life who showed you what real caring is supposed to be like. And I know that you are like Jane to so many wonderful souls who don't know how wonderful they are until someone like you or like Janes comes along to show them. Jane lives on in you.

Thanks Wendy, no life is not fair. I hope Jane is with me. I ask her questions from time to time. I try to love unconditionally, that is her gift. I am left feeling like an orphan though in the sense that she is the one who held my life knowledge in her heart.

It is very hard, wisewoman; I have an Anne like your Jane.

I was very moved reading this thread wisewoman. Your pain seems so raw still... Really sorry that such a wonderful person had to leave so soon. But from what I see you were well deserving of Jane's friendship, and you are a special someone too. It is so rare to meet true, genuine friends in life and I am sorry for your loss.

I know words won't make things any better... But try to hang in there.

Thanks Perna and Always. It is still raw, maybe because I lived a few hours away and didn't get to experience it with the rest of the community. Maybe because I want to ask her stuff and realize she's not there. I want her to approve of what I am doing and to see my family.

I'm so sorry ww, she was lucky to be loved by you.

Tanya, you are kind but no, I know I was the lucky one. She meant so much to so many. I miss her love, knowing she is out there and i can call and speak with her or do a visit. I was trying to think of the last time I saw her and I think I know. She was loving and beautiful but not herself as she was still burned out of her home at that time. I never got to see her in her rebuilt home. But the river will always be there.

I am ill, it is not fair. I want my jane to make me take better care of self. Eat, drink....walk. I want someone here to act in that way for me. I think I need to discuss with hubby. I wish I could have the kind of memory that can re-hear every word and expression. I with I had the kind of memory that could see the images clearly still in my mind. They are there, but not like when they happened. Yeah, Jane is gone. My love will remain for her because gone is just somewhere else and some day I will learn. I do miss her, what a cliche. Missing Jane. Well, I quess I mean that I want someone else in my life who loves me like that. ERRRRRR

I am sorry you miss Jane. You could honor her loving memory by doing the things you know she would wish for you to do to stay as well as you can. Her voice and heart still reside in you. Let her spirit shine

I'm sorry you're missing your Jane so. Sometimes we just need someone to offer love and comfort.

I have a Jane, too. Her name is Nancy. I think I love her like you love your Jane. I find myself wanting to know what she thinks about anything and everything. I know there will come a time when she won't be here with me anymore and when that time comes, I want to be able to say to myself, "What would Nancy think," and actually know.

Were you able to internalize your Jane that way?

and today I have missed my Jane more then I can express. She loved young people and did not find their thoughts and feelings trivial. I have tried to keep her teachings with me except it is hard to live up to her. I am glad I had her. Then again I didn't have this place and thousands of people to relate to, just her in her warmth and love. I love her so much and miss her. The daily pain has grown to a numb but the pain is still there inside. I miss my dearest Jane. I need her wisdom to guide me through. I want to have her still.

I hope you are there watching over me and that you will take my hane if I do something unsafe or unloving. be here and guide me my friend. I need a tour guide about now.

a bump for you wise woman
((((HUGS))))
beth

How is Dear Wisewoman doing these days...

I am thinking about you here, and hoping all is well, and you are moving forward on a nice path I picture you on...

Be well, Dear Person, and let us know you are well.

I am moved everytime I read this thread and I thank you for sharing such beautiful sentiments with us.

Peace and Love,
Night
xo

(((wisewoman))), rap