[(JD)]

I'd get angry except I KNOW it only makes me worse. Perhaps I never fully recovered from the most recent pain flare? Went back to activity before I should have? And then life rolled in... and I missed a PT this week... oh so many things! My sacroiliac is back out (no pun) it's the same "side" as the recent "way" out flare... but this time it's impinging upon the sciatic nerve also... I'm surprised I'm able to lie here typing! But I've "learned" over the years that if I can put up with as much as I can in this pain, that's good, as if I move it could become even worse???

I hate this. I won't call my T I WON'T call my T. I KNOW it's Saturday. I KNOW he's probably at the U of M football game that begins in 2 hours... I KNOW this is one of HIS personal times... anyway... he can't stop the pain, and it's not going to kill me... a mantra: this pain won't kill me (I'll just want to die to get out of it) this pain won't kill me...

sigh TENS ICE heat pain med painpatch stretch rest eat drink sigh try not to think about how desperate this chronic pain feels...

[kimmydawn]

oh (((((((((((((((((((((((sky))))))))))))))))))))))

i wish there was something i could do. i'm so sorry you're hurting so much

kd

i'll try to share your pain with you, Sky......xoxoxo pat

[blackdragon]

((((((((((sky))))))))))))))) i can only imagine how much pain ur in. I was in the ER last nite cause my lower back along the side was hurting so bad. It still hurts. Hope u get better.

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you are in pain. I wish I could help. Have you tried accupuncture? I hope you feel better soon.

[(JD)]

2 : 26 am.... maybe it WILL kill me??? I can't lie down... causes the bones which are out of place to press harder upon the sciatic nerve. I am so tired! I so need sleep! fatigue adds to my pain... bad cycle... thi spain will not kill me? maybe I just wish it would and quickly!

[(JD)]

2 : 26 am.... maybe it WILL kill me??? I can't lie down... causes the bones which are out of place to press harder upon the sciatic nerve. I am so tired! I so need sleep! fatigue adds to my pain... bad cycle... this pain will not kill me? maybe I just wish it would and quickly!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))))))))))))

[dottie]

Sky...hang in there. Remember it will subside. I have a bad lower back because of all of the lifting, pulling, pushing I have done in my life. Have you tried "Icy Hot"? That has helped to take the edge off for moi.

Take good care.

~Dottie

[(JD)]

tks dottie... I have most everything I can use (allergic to some stuff) but it doesn't do much when the bones are out of place. I missed physical therapy once last week... and that's what helped me go in to the last pain flare but a few weeks ago ... I think my psychologist will consider it all one "flare" that I really haven't come out of yet... I did an ice massage and a few small bones moved (releases) but nothing major... I do have therapy on Monday. But not sure my MD will be in office. I need to go out of my way to see her if she's there.. as she needs to see me when I 'm in this increased pain, so maybe she'll treat it???? Anyway, my T (psychologist) is pain management specialist too.. and I see him on Monday too... just wish it were TODAY!!! I can't see much beyond this pain... much more function like "normal" .... so many problems associated... fatigue will exacerbate it too. I ramble... can't live with it... can't think with it... yet I'm pushing to do so. aaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this.

(((((((((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))))))))

I hope you got some sleep!

Time0

[(JD)]

yes TY all! I finally got a few hours after 8 am... but then had to go to Mom's ... to settle er try and settle another matter! I ate at least, on the way home. I'm in PJs already and trying to rest. The TENS has helped the pain messages get twisted up for the brain, so I have some relief. Taking full doses of meds to try and stay ahead of it... looking forward to PT tmw and getting the area ultrasound'd again... another tough week ahead. I want to quit. Talk about "going through motions" .... but have financial dealings to complete this week too... can't think!

[(JD)]

Didn't get much sleep last (Sun) night... been up a while already... have PT at noon... gotta get some relief! This pain hasn't killed me yet, but I need relief.... maybe I'll ask T how long this season of increased pain has gone on.... if I weren't so intimidated by the MD, I'd ask to go in for a pain shot (but she insists it won't help as it isn't narcotic. grrrrr) Give me a shot of water, if it helps, for land's sake!

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((sky)))))))))))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

Thanks.... my T has had me cancel all activities for this week... except doctor appts of course! So I will only run over to a meeting and drop something off in about 15 minutes... and cancelled my voice coach for Wednesday, and concert practice, and another meeting Thursday... ggrrrrr and 2 phones calls..... rut roh I have another conference call due Friday... I have to go to the Post office and bank tomorrow... "life" intrudes. grrrrrr Maids come on Wednesday (I can't cancel that!!!!) And the guy from sears repair is due out Friday, but the parts haven't been delivered.. I may cancel??? Does this sound like bed rest to you????? PT ultrasounded my back.. so it's some better...

[(JD)]

well... I didn't even do that! I stayed home... didn't drop off items for meeting tonight... not MY problem.. and now.. it's over. I'm taking a bath.

[Leslie]

(((((((((((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))))))))

I don't know you very well but you are always there for me. I am here for you. I wish I could take the pain away. I wish I could say something or do something to help you.

Leslie

[(JD)]

TY ... today is an even worse day... went through wads of tissues in physical therapy ... the si just won't go back into place... wouldn't let me lie down last night AT ALL.. the only "sleep" I got was after ice massaging... maybe begin to fall asleep sitting up.. but then pain came back as iced area warmed up etc.. I couldn't even lie down on table to wait for physical therapist.. stood braced against his bookcase sobbing. No, this pain won' t kill me.. it DOES make me wish it did... nothing is worth this pain... nothing.

[heatherm]

((((((((Sky)))))))))

I am so sorry you are going through this I wish there was something I could do.

xoxo

[dottie]

((((((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))))))

Healing thoughts going out to you!

~Dottie

[(JD)]

ty heather... as per my T I took a double dose of pain med and shortly after posting above, I got a few hours of sleep...and the pain in down to about an 8+ much better than before (not livable yet though ) I'm taking another double dose to try and knock this flare out... as soon as I make sure the dog is set for the night? Thanks all, again.

[(JD)]

Not out of the woods yet (am I wabbit huntin' still?) I took double doses 3 in a row (but each time after I slept some) and I am in maybe 8+ pain now... got TENS strapped on me, and lidoderm patch too... maids were here and that cause enough stress to flare me into 10 briefly... I knew it would be stressful, T and I agreed I needed to get through it... and the whole time I was trying to calm and keep muscles from spasming.. seems they have amindof their own?

I cancelled the dental appt for tomorrow (post poned) ... have pt and T only tomorrow now... maybe I'm on the "back side" of the pain now rofl (if Icould) nothing is worth this pain. sigh.

[(JD)]

sigh... maybe I'm getting through this flare? Had a huge hollow-bone-cracking-release this morning... major bone in hip area... and pain is down enough to let me lie down on my back (yeah with knees bent hehehe like I'm supposed to)... I'm actually wondering if I can go out and eat, too??? gee, a real meal, hot... service.. I'd almost forgotten! (But I did notice my charge card bill was down to 1/4 what it "normally" is... maybe the only good thing that comes from pain flares, as I don't get to eat???) But I still haven't lost weight! Now THAT would be a good result, eh???

[ozzie]

I hope this flare is about to end. I hear you about weight loss being a good result. I've often wished I was the kind of person who lost weight when they were depressed but I tend to gain.....thanks to chocolate.

[(JD)]

wish I craved chocolate... seems the world would be an easier place to live then...