I have to share this... I'm working hard to make sure I don't get really angry! There is a large thrift store near where we live. They sell all sorts of stuff donated by both individuals & retail companies. My wife likes to go there, so I've been going along mostly so she would have some company. In the process, I've found a few shirts I've bought... really cheap!

Well, as some may know, I've struggled with GID my entire life, along with depression, anxiety, etc. I just refused to give in to it outwardly, although in secret, I did all of the things we trannies do. Since my last serious suicide attempt, going on 3 years ago now, & in keeping with what my previous T suggested, I've been trying to do what I can to "feminize" my wardrobe a bit, while not actually buying & wearing women's clothes. I look for men's clothing that, to me, seems to have a bit more of a feminine appearance.

Today I found this shirt sort of thing. The body was a mesh sort-of material. The shoulders & short-sleeves were, I suppose, some kind of nylon material. It was the kind of thing that often has a team logo on it. But none had ever been put on this. It was a bright electric blue. (I'm fond of blue... as well as pink.) Anyway, I got the idea I'd buy it. Then I'd get a sleeveless teeshirt to wear underneath it. Cool...

My wife came strolling up, took one look at the shirt and said: "Oh, that's REALLY UGLY!" Then she thought a moment & commented perhaps she shouldn't have said that. Then she added: "But you usually have such good taste!" It was sort-of like that old chewing gum commercial: Two... two... two (put-downs) in one... ! Slam... bam...!

My wife doesn't want to have anything to do with my mental health concerns. She'll take me to my pdoc appointments & she's even been helpful here & there with helping me to acquire things that perhaps the average man wouldn't use (such as the messenger bag I carry which basically serves as a purse)... but that has the appearance of being completely manly (blacks, browns, grays & dark blues preferred). But she's not the least bit interested in talking about anything related to my mental health concerns in general or my GID in particular. It is the 800 pound gorilla in our living room (and elsewhere)... no question about it. But I understand her predilection & I abide by it. I call it our don't ask, don't tell policy. She doesn't ask, & I don't tell.

So, anyway, this incident with the shirt has just caused me to go ballistic (internally)! I'm working at maintaining mindfulness. I've hidden my true self for 66 years & I continue to do so. I don't expect it to ever be any different. But do I have to endure insults along the way as well? I know she didn't mean to insult me. She doesn't understand. Of course, there's no way she could because she doesn't want to hear about it. Now she says she feels badly. She's pouting. Suddenly, it's all about her... I've made her feel bad. Sometimes I just don't know... I'll get over it...

[unaluna]

I'm sorry this happened to you! Sometimes the lines of an outfit will be so appealing to me that it overrides other aspects of it, or vice versa. So maybe she just didnt see what you saw. In any case, yeah, its really more "our tastes correspond" or not. My t loves the color orange - I. Do. Not! So when he wears orange, i say, "i know you love orange".

Getting banged about ones taste is horrifying! She shouldn't have been so blunt about it at all. Shame on her! How much ego does she swing? I have a strong willed opinionated partner that's soon to disappear.

The most fem I go is wearing light pastel polo shirts. Of course Bobbie and Barbie has got their own wardrobe and selection. They just come out for solo home visits. Susie is more all time on hand that likes colors but don't mind dressing down as long as everything matches.

Most of us understands that we have a public image to portray.

Yeah... the thing is... there's an invisible free-floating line... (sort like an invisible dog fence... except that it moves around.) I never know where it is for certain. I know for sure that some things are out beyond it & I don't go there. But other things lie closer to the line. And they can be either inside the line, or outside, & I don't know until I try to go there. Then, if it turns out they're outside, when I cross the line, I get slapped! It keeps me guessing. And all the while I continue to struggle against this "transsexual imperative" that has been a part of my life as far back as I can remember... probably farther... it's stress-producing...

[Rand.]

Something tells me this goes beyond just the shirt.
But did she see you wear the shirt? Sometimes that makes all the difference. A friend and I went around at a thrift store and picked out the ugliest shirts we could find and wondered how anyone could ever wear them. No word of a lie, an attractive, young woman picks ALL of them (she hadn't heard our conversation) and them some we missed and ROCKED them. Like, she actually looked great lol. So, it really can depend.

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Yeah... the thing is... there's an invisible free-floating line... (sort like an invisible dog fence... except that it moves around.) I never know where it is for certain. I know for sure that some things are out beyond it & I don't go there. But other things lie closer to the line. And they can be either inside the line, or outside, & I don't know until I try to go there. Then, if it turns out they're outside, when I cross the line, I get slapped! It keeps me guessing. And all the while I continue to struggle against this "transsexual imperative" that has been a part of my life as far back as I can remember... probably farther... it's stress-producing...

Originally Posted by Adespota

Something tells me this goes beyond just the shirt.
But did she see you wear the shirt? Sometimes that makes all the difference. A friend and I went around at a thrift store and picked out the ugliest shirts we could find and wondered how anyone could ever wear them. No word of a lie, an attractive, young woman picks ALL of them (she hadn't heard our conversation) and them some we missed and ROCKED them. Like, she actually looked great lol. So, it really can depend.

Yes, Adespota: This is nothing about the shirt. It is about the fence...

[unaluna]

Oh, the fence. Now i know what you mean. Im pretty oblivious to the fence, which is probably why salesclerks call me sir all the freakin time. My mother and brother are very aware of the fence. But i will wear like a blouse, a blazer, and khakis, all womens clothes btw, and my mother will ask me, why do i have to dress like a man all the time? Slap. I was going for elegant and sophisticated, really not even butch.

These are the bodies and minds god gave us. In twenty years, this will be the new normal. It already is a lot more normal than 50 years ago. We are frontrunners. Everybody else can catch up or go hang.

Originally Posted by hankster

Oh, the fence. Now i know what you mean. Im pretty oblivious to the fence, which is probably why salesclerks call me sir all the freakin time. My mother and brother are very aware of the fence. But i will wear like a blouse, a blazer, and khakis, all womens clothes btw, and my mother will ask me, why do i have to dress like a man all the time? Slap. I was going for elegant and sophisticated, really not even butch.

These are the bodies and minds god gave us. In twenty years, this will be the new normal. It already is a lot more normal than 50 years ago. We are frontrunners. Everybody else can catch up or go hang.

"In twenty years, this will be the new normal." I LOVE this!

Does your wife know about your need? If so, can she feel betrayed? When I start talking about multiples and some of the stuff they did my wife would get put off and told me to talk about it to my therapist, not wanting to hear a word of it. Her image of me since we first got together is shattered she says- disappointingly. She won't hear of it about what I'm going through inside. I told her I was like this longer then when we met, like 30 years longer.

My wife doesn't want to have anything to do with my mental health concerns. She'll take me to my pdoc appointments & she's even been helpful here & there with helping me to acquire things that perhaps the average man wouldn't use (such as the messenger bag I carry which basically serves as a purse)... but that has the appearance of being completely manly (blacks, browns, grays & dark blues preferred). But she's not the least bit interested in talking about anything related to my mental health concerns in general or my GID in particular. It is the 800 pound gorilla i

How funny, my black iPad carry case has a shoulder strap that I carry everywhere and I've fancied to a purse! Lol.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

"In twenty years, this will be the new normal." I LOVE this!

Hey - football players wearing pink shoes? When did we think THAT would ever happen??

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Does your wife know about your need? If so, can she feel betrayed? When I start talking about multiples and some of the stuff they did my wife would get put off and told me to talk about it to my therapist, not wanting to hear a word of it. Her image of me since we first got together is shattered she says- disappointingly. She won't hear of it about what I'm going through inside. I told her I was like this longer then when we met, like 30 years longer.

Yes, my wife does know, to a superficial extent. (It's a long story...) Also, yes, I think that those of us who have struggled with these sorts of problems all of our lives imagine that we're doing loved ones a favor by hiding our true selves. But, the truth will out one way or another. And when it does come out, it seems like, what we saw as a sacrifice, often feels like a betrayal to loved ones. I don't have the impression this is the case with my wife. I don't think she feels betrayed. She's just very uncomfortable with this sort of thing. She doesn't know how to deal with it & doesn't want anything to do with it. Neither do I, for that matter. I just don't have any choice...

Originally Posted by hankster

Hey - football players wearing pink shoes? When did we think THAT would ever happen??

[unaluna]

http://www.nfl.com/pink

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Okay only when they are raising money for breast cancer. But im SURE im not the only one getting off on it!! There are pink gloves and scarves and shoelaces all over the place. The guys in the broadcast booth are all wearing hot pink, its beautiful, the pregame shows etc. Dude, you gotta watch more football!!

Originally Posted by hankster

NFL.com/pink


Okay only when they are raising money for breast cancer. But im SURE im not the only one getting off on it!! There are pink gloves and scarves and shoelaces all over the place. The guys in the broadcast booth are all wearing hot pink, its beautiful, the pregame shows etc. Dude, you gotta watch more football!!

Yuk... I hate football!!!

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Yuk... I hate football!!!

I know, but i kinda like those pink shoes... but then where would i wear football cleats?

I think thats the cutest thing is pink in such a black and blue sport. It's so right

Originally Posted by hankster

I know, but i kinda like those pink shoes... but then where would i wear football cleats?

_____ _____

[unaluna]

Follow. The. Links. The auction is - well maybe its just me!