How to cope with trich? (Trigger)

So, any of you who has any good tips? Just finding this forum is a huge relief for me, as I believed for many years that this was only in my head and just kept me feeling really bad about it.

I mostly pull from my lashes and eyebrows nowadays. When I was about 13 I started by pulling my hair from my scalp when I was laying in bed reading at night. It went away for some time when I figured something was wrong with me. But it has come back in periods during these years (I am 23 today).

In January I started seeing a therapist about this. She is very skilled in OCD problematique and I trust her. It has been hard talking to people about this since it is so shameful for me.

When pulling it is like this tension, it gets higher and higher and when finally the hair comes off there is an instant relief. If it is my lashes the area almost instantly gets sore, and this kinda fascinates me and triggers me to pull even more. When pulling from my scalp there is a special area where I always pull. I think I look for hair which feels "different" - in texture or something else like that. When remembering back I think this is also what I thought when I was young and pulled.

So today I see T once a week and it goes up and down. Ahe believes I have made good progress but I am really afraid. Since this is something I do more in certain periods, I am scared this is just a "good" period and that she will abandon me believing I am "cured". But I am pretty sure it will be really bad again some day. This scares me..

At least I have become more aware of what situations are more risky for me and I can actually stop myself sometimes when pulling.

Thoughts?

Hi! I see there are some other posts here that look good at offering suggestions for coping. As you see, you are not alone.

Thx, will surely look around to see if I can find anything useful.

So here I am, trying to study but can't get myself to stop pulling from a certain spot on my head. It feels kinda sore in my scalp right now and this makes me think about it even more... aah. T has cancelled our last two meetings due to sickness and I haven't seen her for two weeks now. Feels like I am back on square one... the things she said and taught me about that I control my own life seems to have slipped my mind...

Aahh.. terrible today. Feels completely sore on that spot on my head now. Tried to tie a scarf around my head when I studied earlier which worked pretty good, but now I have just pulled and pulled... no limits. Worst day since very long regarding this

No pulling for some days which feels good, but my mood has been up and down a LOT. right now I feel anxious and worried - I need to talk to T but she is still sick and I feel crap... I have become too dependent which I swore I wouldn't be. Don't know how to cope with that...

It's like a wall between me and my emotions which I am terrified to tear down. Fearing that I would totally break down if I tore it down...

Hi! I'm new here! I have been dealing with trich since my senior year in high school and I'm now 55 years old. It was always somewhat under control, but for the last 18 months I have no body hair except for my eyelashes and brows. I wear wigs and to avoid seeing people I don't go out into public where there is a chance I will see someone who would know me. I do my shopping and what ever else I can do very late at night or very early in morning so I will not see any one I know!!! I have sought out help for this so many times in my life. It's a control thing for me when my life is out of my control I pull. I have seen atleast 6 different therapist with no help to my trich. Been working on all my other issues with my therapist which helps but I have pulled so long my hair never fully grows back. I also pull my wig hair and the cost of buying wigs every month is very costly.
So what I really wanted to say is get help early, work with a therapist and a there is a wonderful website called tlc. It's just to late for me!!

Hi! I am very sorry to hear about your problems. It seems that they have affected your entire life very much since you don't even can go and buy groceries at any time of the day. I am sorry that therapy hasn't helped you.

I can very much relate to the control-thing. When my life is out of control i pull as well. Don't know how to cope with it...

I am going through cbt-therapy at the moment (at least until summer, when i will move to a new location and have to find a new T). I believe the idea about changing your thoughts and behaviour is good, even though I really haven't made any huge progress yet . Have you tried it? Are you on any therapy or medication right now? Hugs!

Edit: also, thank you for the website! Found a lot of interesting reading.

Hello Wintersnow,

I started pulling my hair out around 15. I've had bald spots but could cover them up. For many years I often felt stuck in one place for many hours - such as watching TV, or reading, pulling hair out, splitting hair, ripping at my hair. I couldn't stop at these times. I'd get so tired I eventually want to bed.

I have three sisters who also pull their hair out. It's horrible to watch. My brothers do not have this problem.

At age 40, I decided to believe that for me this was a horrible habit, rather than a mental health problem. As soon as I decided my problem was a habit I started to recover. I had a feeling of some control over it. I'm now 51 and can happily say I no longer rip the hair out of my head.

I had a very difficult childhood and think this contributed to a lot of stress. I feel my hair pulling was in response to that stress that continued as a habit whenever I was stressed. Sometimes I pulled my hair out for no reason at all.

GLWSB,

thanks for your story of success! This makes me believe in a future without pulling. Very glad for you!! I wish the best for your sisters as well.

My T says that trich actually could be compared to some kind of habit. In the same way some people bite their nails, I pull hair. As simple as that.

T has been ill for some weeks and yesterday i saw her again. Felt good but I told her about my recent relapse (everything went so well last time i saw her but then i started pulling A LOT recently). She said it was alright. Stuff happens. At least now we have a plan. And I will try and use mindfulness as a tool to get to know myself better, to get a grip of my feelings and thoughts.

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I'm happy someone answered your post and with a positive note, she beat something she needed to very bad, maybe you can do it too!!!I don't have this problem but sometimes I peel my brow hair out, just so i don't have to get them waxed,as they are light and no one can tell anyway. I hope for you and I wish all good luck for you!!

Avlady, thanks for your post. I am glad to hear some success stories as well in here! Even though this thread should be for everyone, just wanting to ventilate their thoughts about trich or something related.

Feels good to have your support!

My mind feels all messed up at the moment. Tired of thinking...

My grandparents are selling a house by the sea in where I pretty much grew up during the summers of my entire childhood. They are too old, can't take care of it anymore. No one else in my family can afford to own it.

Maybe sounds like nothing, but it means the world to me, that house... It is my safe spot, my hideaway and has a deep deep place in my heart. And this week my granddad is seeing a real estate agent regarding this. By the summer the house will be sold. And a huge piece of my heart and life with it...

And it hurts so terribly much, a huge sadness has entered me.

Have you tried an antidepressant or any meds?

Trichotillomania (hair-pulling disorder): Treatments and drugs - MayoClinic.com

No, I haven't. My T has never brought it up, may she doesn't think that this is too bad, I don't know... I don't really want to bring it up either, I'm not sure what I think about medication for this. But the last time I really stressed that I have been feeling like crap on and off for the last couple of weeks. We spoke a lot about my "wall" which stands between me and my feelings. Right now there is a dark, dark cloud behind that wall and I am not sure what it contains... I am scared to go too close to the wall, it's a creepy feeling around there.

Hello again Wintersnow,

I wanted to let you know, in addition to my post above, that by age 41, I was free of my hair pulling habit. I have not pulled my hair out for ten years and it feels great.

You too can overcome - I know it, as I've done it and I had a 15 - 16 year long habit. You have to believe you will be free of this, even if it takes time to get there. Self doubt is normal but if you can develop a 'dust if off and try again' attitude you will win over time.

I have had many difficult times in life, in addition to hair pulling, and for me making the decision that I am not a mad or crazy person, but just a normal person who has many challenges helps me.

Relapsing... Feeling crap. Haven't seen T since may because of a relocation. Don't know how to stop..

So I emailed T yesterday with hopes of getting some help, some motivation again. Instantly got an auto - reply that she is on vacation until the 2nd of September. That is when I have a chance to see her... So that plan was destroyed pretty quickly.

Need to start taking notes again on my mood and thoughts to try and find a pattern, when I tend to pull. Just don't really have the strength to take it up again... It's tough. Notice, observe.

Wow, it's funny how I come back here when things feel like ****. Relapsing and T isn't answering the email I sent her the other week. Maybe I should just start seeing another T, closer to me...?

Pulled a LOT of lashes yesterday. Felt so good and bad at the same time and I just couldn't stop. Regret that massively today...

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So... Again long time no see.

I started seeing another T in my new home town since I was really bad this spring. Yesterday I met her the third time and it was definitely the worst of the sessions yet. We have agreed to try with a cognitive behavioural therapy approach to solve my problems with trich and to get me better, and last time we spoke a lot about certain situations. Yesterday I just lost it. Anxiety level ~90 in T's room. Horrible.

I need to have control. I have realised that a lot of my problems derive from control. I'm having a tough time letting go of having control. Simple things as doing the dishes I really can't let my boyfriend do - not that he doesn't do it better - but if I do it then I won't have bad conscience for not doing "something important". I really can't relax. Constantly wound up.

This makes me worry a lot, worrying is also a huge part of the problem. My thoughts are constantly spinning around the future and what will happen. The need of knowing is big, but no one can predict the future which means that it's out of my control. Rough.

The anxiety deriving from this is manifesting itself through my hair pulling. It's a way to try and cope with anxiety and stress. And right now I am in a bad place... Yesterdays session with T made me realise how bad I really am and how much I try to deal with at the moment. She wrote stuff all over her whiteboard and it was scary seeing my thoughts and behaviour so clearly. The worst part is that she made me feel even worse, not trying to help me but just letting me sit there and cry and try to breathe, asking if I was mad with her. I don't like her... But I guess she is my best option for now. Our next session is scheduled for a month from now, and I am so scared about how I will be able to handle myself during that time.

Yesterday triggered something in me and I am so scared of emotions and feelings... I know that pushing them away don't work anymore but I don't know any other way of working with unwanted stuff...