What do your responses to posts say about you?

I think that is an interesting thought.

When I read a post that I feel I can relate to, I can experience deep feelings, sometimes a real sadness and pain. I guess I assume that is how the other person must be feeling and want to say something that may help. But I also guess that in doing that I probably ease my own feelings too - hmmm I shall think about that some more.

However maybe if doing something that makes us feel good, also makes someone else feel good, then that is Ok?

((((silje))))) ((((((((((SoupDragon)))))))))caught me again!----yes! More often than not many posters will reply out of a feeling of pain for the poster, and true empathy; the poster has touched their core...................The response given in like manner will help the poster; we all feel it when someone is being REAL with us.

When one replies in this manner, it helps both the poster and the responder--this is, I
believe, what PC is all about.

However, I have noted many people responding out of their own insecurities, needing to feel "better than", or responding out of "life experience" and actually patronizing the poster--condescending to the poster. When someone belittles me with such a "fake" response; I am deeply injured, as are others (I have noted) on PC.

This is unecessary behavior. Unless you check my page, you'd not know how old I am...you've no knowledge of my life experiences...Perhaps I have been through whatever you think you can teach me; perhaps I have already settled and incorporated many healing processes that the responder knows nothing about.

In the post you quoted SD (which I deleted!!!) I also mentioned that I am Empathic...I am so much so, that I can feel you right through the computer...there are posts that I must not read, they hurt me too much. You, and others here, are also empathic--you are really feeling the post. You actually reply out of pain...this is good for both. It is why I have watched and observed many on PC with interest. (You are amongst them!!!)

Many on PC are not posting for "sympathy", or asking for advice or validation...they just need to vent, and know they are not alone. A hug will suffice!!! Verbal diaarhea incorporating "advice",
false "sympathy", and "validation" can and often do injure the poster.

You understand what I mean SD--Avid Reader put it very well in her post also.

I got my shield up, people, let the arrows fly..I said what I said, I meant what I said, and I'm letting it sit right here-----------------------------------------with all good intentions--pax-theo

Thanks a lot (((silverbells))). That makes a lot of sense.

Thanks, I might have to steal this for an avatar!!

My favorite replies on here are the ones that are sincere. You can tell sometimes from a reply that someone is really able to put themselves in another's shoes. I LOVE that quality.

Yes totally! Sometimes I wonder if my replies are even helpful.. It definitely helps when you see someone with a problem and you might have gone through it in the past. Gives you a sense of mastery to be able to answer. Sort of like what theo was saying...

I post primarily for myself and what I can learn about myself and how I interact/respond to others and to "practice" good conversations with others.

This is an interesting thread and a good topic for all of us to consider and remark on.

When I came to PC I did need support. And I didn't quite know what to expect to be honest. In the beginning when I read the forums it was as if everyone was asking for help and I was really moved. I actually saw some very lonely threads and I wanted to reach through the screen and give real hugs and support. I was also angry as many people were really treated so poorly growing up as well.

There are two things that come to mind that I really wanted to address. I have been told many times that I am very misunderstood. And I have also been told that I should be a psychologist but therapists. Now you would think that it would make me feel good to be told that second statement. I didnt find that to be true. It made me feel worse because I really wanted help, and not be a teacher for the therapist. I actually felt frightened by it, I was told I was smart and very good at figuring out others. It actually made me angry, well, if I am so good at helping others than why cant I help myself? And I didn't see me to be smart, I felt more that therapists didn't really know how to give therapy and it was a waste of time and I really wanted therapy. The truth is I wanted to be critisized or redirected, not complimented on how I understood and addressed others. I was outright angry, because if I did address others correctly I would not have been in therapy to begin with. And there was that constant saying, "Your just too smart". I really resented that, and maybe I was very good at navigating around others by understanding them in some way, but to be honest it did take a toll. It took a toll because often I was right and other people were offended when I could call them correctly, or seemed to know their secret. And people didn't want to know their secret or that I knew their secret and so they either got angry with me or avoided me or only used me to check and see how they improved on their methods of hiding their true emotions. Or even more they would only approach me for advice on how other people could get away with their bad behaviors.

So I had to learn to compensate around others and I thought I had learned to cope.
But guess what, I didn't learn how to cope, I was tallying up unknowingly something that would eventually turn into PTSD that stretched back over many years. Oh, I was so smart and used many good methods of trying to stay positive and productive.
But I was storring too, I was doing it unconsciously. So, if I was that smart than I wouldnt be where I am now. So I just don't believe that line at all.

So when I came to PC, I wanted to let myself hang out there and see what others saw that I didn't see. Where is this smart person the therapists say exists, and why is she misunderstood? And, what is this thing called PTSD? And how does it really effect me and how can I work through it?

Well, I do see that I am too empathetic and I do go pretty deep and sometimes I see things others don't but I am not always right. Luckily others have pointed out some of my short comings. Well thank you for that, because now I have something to work with. Even if it is seeing someone addressing something that I am addressing unknowingly. Or even if someone has experienced the same things I have and had a similar result of confusion.

I have also seen damage from my past and that is mostly in my writing
I have to go back to posts and see the missing words as my brain is faster than my speach, something that was injured in my youth and I have been working on that for a long time. And I also read my posts as sometimes if I am really struggling they tend to ramble. So I get to use them for a emotional barometor with dates and times and I can think about those days and what happened to cause this emotional stress that comes and it also effects my posts.

I actually have a friend that can see it too. He often PM's me and asks me what is up, my posts are changing. I am then drawn back to see what he is seeing and it helps me to notice things more clearly. I think of him as one of my gifts, not as a critical person but as a person who is not afraid to point things out to me.

So PC can be a very good tool for letting yourself come out and be welcome to critisizm. And as many here have mentioned, we can read back our thoughts and perhaps visually see where our own perceptions may be off. And even work on trying to learn from that and see how we can improve ourselves.

Theodora, I noticed that you don't post a lot. And I am glad you did.
You can erase yourself from including yourself or you can be brave and try to join in and let PC help you. You have a picture of a bird flying, so that means you really want to do that right? But what you are doing is what that picture is doing, just staying in one place and only flapping your wings. Your wings can flap, yes they are there, but you have to take off and fly a bit. You have find your balance in flight and navigate the winds of others and learn to fly around it and build strength. And I think you do try to leave that nest but only for a moment then you quickly fly back.

But your not alone in that, there are other posts in here that are stating the same, just a little differently. When I see others try their wings here, I really like it. I know it isn't easy, but you have to keep trying.

Open Eyes

^^^^^^^^oops---an arrow just hit!!!!!!! la di da! Proved my point.

Oh gee theodora, I wasn't shooting an arrow at you. I wanted to bring wind into your sails so to speak. And I already come with a disclaimer LOL. Go ahead and shoot arrows back, I am already full of holes, one more wont hurt. Maybe I should change my name to Swiss Cheeze or something, LOL. But then again you may hit something and I may gain and learn from you. I dont doubt you probably have some hidden wisdom that I may lack. If I actually knew so much I wouldnt have these days were I really suffer and feel so troubled by this diagnosis that I clearly am struggling to understand.

To be honest I get pretty bad somedays that I get very tired. And the last thing I want to hear from a therapist is how much I seem to know. So if there is anything you are hiding, please do share it may be that one key that I need to turn my mind in a better direction.

You have every right to state your mind theodora, every right to disagree with me.
You are welcome any time, and I am very open to suggestions. I have already stated I know I am not perfect. And I am just trying.

I will have to keep this post and think about it. I am actually having a bad day today. I worked yesterday and it was pretty hot. I managed to keep the children in the shade but I was in the sun, my eyes are so sore, they feel sunburned today. I have to find sunglasses that dont scare the children as they often get scared when they cant see my eyes.


Open Eyes

An apology--fine, thank you. I hope you feel better soon.

What is it that you think I am hiding? Did you read my posts? Are they not plain enough? Did you check out my profile to try to understand me? I have read all of yours. I have even checked your profile in an endeavour to understand you more.

What makes you think I am not flying? The avatar is of an Eagle landing.

This thread is about what your posts say to others about where you are in your recovery...did you read that?

I dunno, but those of us who are well along in our recovery do not post that often;
I know, because I spend a great deal of time reading and thinking about what others have to say, I observe and watch them growing...I know no magic cure for others...that would be rather pompous of me dontcha think?

It ain't all about me. (there's some "hidden wisdom" for you)

Pax, theo

Hello There!!!! I like to do the same. Learn Everything I can Soup it up I mite say. Give what I can which sometimes I provide the best of me when i'm in a sisuation when not feeling so good I can out read anyone post. I do get around.

Your right Theodora, it is about me, about me trying. Perhaps you are further along than me. I don't really know you, I did just checked out your about me page. Perhaps we have something in common. You just have labels there, I have the reasons for some of my labels in my about me, but I didn't put them all in there, some of them are pretty bad.

I openly have admitted that I am searching, I am trying to see the about me you speak of. I have learned more here than I have in therapy. But I do have a new therapist and finally he can see how much I struggle. And your right, maybe I'll be like you someday, flying again. Right now I don't really feel like flying, or I try to fly and I grow very tired quickly.
My therapist told me that I am battling depression. And I am not really sure how to battle it.

Many times I post here it is the only way I have been able to be the old me so to speak. Sure I talk to others and try to encourage them and in so doing I try to encourage myself. I am not above others, I am with them struggling too.

Believe it or not you have just proved my point. Do I often speak from experience, yes. But it is only to help others see things I didn't see and wished I had seen the way I see it now. If you could only see my sails theodora, they are so shredded and I am not really able to catch much wind at all. I am only trying to figure out how to mend them and look back at the moments that they were sliced. Did I really see it at the time, no not really. And I am surprised at how little wind I can catch at any given time. I try to mend a little and seem to catch some wind, but then I see how quickly what I have tried to mend quickly gets torn again. In that, I have become more aware and conscious of the way they were torn.

Someone brought up guilt and how that guilt feels strange and hard to define. I replied to that thread as I knew what it meant somehow and tried to put it into words. I suddenly saw a long list of how I feel guilt. I hadn't really expected to be able to answer that thread so well. Well enough to somehow form that list.

It is very close to the depression I feel and I hadn't really realized it. I also talk about anger, well I have that too and extreme anxiety, thats there too. And I see how it is all balled up into this Label called PTSD. Misunderstood? thats in it too.
And it is very frustrating and hard to pull apart and understand.

And somehow I think maybe you do understand it, maybe you are flying above me and maybe you don't like me. Well, I don't like me much either right now and that comes in that guilt part of it. I didn't have money for therapy when I really needed it. So it got worse, and I have been battling a strange kind of depression that sometimes lifts a little giving me hope and yet I am still very weak.

Some people have asked my why I havent been in chat, truth is, I havent been doing that well.

But I have also watched other try and sometimes they fail and maybe they feel guilty. And I see that they are quiet and once again they add a few words here and there. And it encourages me and I quietly pray for them.

I was good at blowing wind into the sails of others. But at times it shreded my own sails. I see that too. I got hit pretty hard, I see a lot of things differently now. And I am just trying.

Open Eyes

It ain't all about me. (there's some "hidden wisdom" for you)

I have been thinking about this alot.

And I also thought about the other times when I heard that very same statement.

For the first six years of my marriage I was living with a binge alcoholic. I was trying to be a good wife and could see some issues that were getting in my way. And they were very disruptive issues like someone drunk and urinating in the bed next to me, someone who didn't always come home at night and I never knew where he was and someone who harassed me about having sex and someone who got up and urinated in the closet in the middle of the night. So I complained of this ongoing behavior, and that is one time I heard that statement, "it is not about you, you need help find a therapist, you are imagining things" And finally my husband, upon my statement that I could not take anymore went to his first AA meeting. And for a long time I was alone while he went to many meetings and IT HAD TO BE ALL ABOUT HIM. I had to sit and learn how to accept that this is what recovery meant and that I HAD TO WAIT AND BE PATIENT WHILE HE FOCUSED ON HIM. And that went on for many years. Statistically the partner of an alcoholic stays long enough to see the partner become sober and THEN THEY LEAVE THE PERSON WHO HAS TO BE ALL ABOUT RECOVERY. For the life of me, I could not find a mentor that took the same path as me, I STAYED AND TRIED TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP AROUND HIS PROBLEM. And for the most part I was very lonely and it wasn't easy. And I tried everything I could to not sit and wine and make it all about me, I worked at trying to focus on being productive and pushing foward.

I have been at a point in my life where I am looking back and really thinking about your statement Theodora. And I have to say that every time I spoke up I was pretty much addressed with that same saying "its not about you" Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I can say that ever since I can remember I thought more about other people and their issues and how I had to work around their issues IN SPITE OF ME OR MY OWN ISSUES. So pretty much, I DIDN'T MAKE IT ABOUT ME. And the funny thing is that when the issues of others were in my lap, I did everything possible to remain focused on continuing to be a productive person. And somehow, for some reason I was addressed when I really stuggled that IT SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT ME.

Now I am finally at a point where I am constantly being told TO FIX MYSELF. And that I HAVE TO DO THE WORK. And I am constantly being told to stop worrying about other people and WORRY ABOUT ME.

I even had a therapist that was concerned about me coming to PC. His main question to me is that because I have had to deal with fixing others I need to learn how TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT ME. So I kept that in mind and when I post I try to bring me into the post so that I am also remembering that I do HAVE TO FOCUS ON ME.

My husband asked me this weekend about PC. I told him it was very helpful and supportive. He asked me if others WERE GIVING ME FEED BACK AND IF IT WAS A TWO WAY STREET. He told me that I had to consider if I WAS GETTING ANY HELP MYSELF.

I never had a thread about my own saga. And I didn't want to have a saga. And I still don't want to have a saga. But unfortunately I do have a saga. And it has torn most of my sails so to speak and I have a lot of guilt about it as well as anxiety, anger and now depression.

So I finally decided to start a thread in the Other mental health discussion forum. And I tried to look at it as some way of trying to express the about me that I didn't like or was trying to work on or some of the ways I look at the different emotions that I am addressing. And I think I got two replies (thank you by the way).

Maybe your life was all about you Theodora, maybe you had to finally learn that you somehow needed to change that. Maybe somehow you can fly above the forums in your sense of being further along and say to yourself, not about me, about them, their issues not mine.

As far as I am concerned the table full of bills on my table and struggling with that and the scars I have from OTHER PEOPLES ISSUES and the crippled animals I tend to every day, day in and day out, and trying to figure out what to do with an aging attorney and a real jerk for a neighbor that seems to not understand boundaries.
Aren't you glad to know those aren't your problems and you can just fly above it.
To be honest, I have been doing nothing but try to figure out how to not make the things I deal with every day NOT MY PROBLEMS or NOT ABOUT ME.

Crying........are you scratching your head yet? Oh, I noticed you erased that post, how convenient. Did you notice I erased my post that talked about my deep struggles that I DO NOT WANT TO BE ABOUT ME? I was so tired with my sunburn crying eyes and reading your reply that I went up to my bed and all I wanted to do was to be able to DELETE ME. Because I AM TIRED OF IT BEING ABOUT ME.

So I have to really think about what my responses to posts say about me.

And you know what? I couldn't sleep, and I didn't know what to do or think.
I had thought that many of my posts meant that I still cared about other people that were struggling and every time I addressed them, I was somehow learning how to address myself and find a way to find energy and the will to tackle each day through presenting postive thoughts. And I thought that that is how PC worked.

I came back to PC to try to look for some way of rethinking my confusion. To my surprise I had some WONDERFUL, THOUGHTFUL PM's . And I thought about what my husband asked me about if I was getting support too? And I can finally answer that question with NO DOUBT. Somehow others saw that I was hurt or they were GENUINELY CONCERNED FOR ME. And for me to see that others here understand that I am TRYING as best as I can and I DO NOT FLY ABOVE THEM BUT AM WITH THEM.
It brought me the HOPE that I needed to KEEP TRYING. And I have one friend that can actually tell I am having a bad day by the way I post.
This friend is not sure that he/she is very supportive or helpful. I have to say that this person has been extremely helpful. And I only hope that I can somehow return the favor. I do try.

As far as I am concerned wether a person is deep in depression or struck with self cutting or battling PTSD or whatever it is they are struggling with, I do my best to try to help them find strength to KEEP GOING AND KEEP TRYING. And I don't fly above them, I am struggling right along side of them. If you feel that you are "FURTHER ALONG" well good for you.

If I get to that point I will remember yesterday and how I felt and what that day meant. And in the future if I am somehow flying again, I will still try to support others to learn to fly too. And I will do my best and try to never pompus about how I post to others. I do know that I am not perfect and I may make mistakes or that someone may misunderstand me or visa versa and if that happens I do my best to make ammends.

You mentioned that perhaps I try too hard. Well, I guess you may be right. But I don't want to continue this all about me stage, I am trying so hard to battle the often depressive state I am in from, as my therapist states, having an awful lot on my plate that is understandably overwhelming.

And in no way am I trying to shoot any arrows. This post is about how another post effected me. It was an arrow that struck my heart and core and how others pulled that arrow out.
(thank you for the supportive PMs and posts to those people)

Open Eyes

I have a serious adhd problem imagine that????????

Well avoice perhaps I could simplify. Your are seeing someone struggling with how to work on me. Someone who has some really bad days and all she can manage is to one word at a time it. I thought I had coped. But I guess I never did. I never took time out for myself, I was too busy trying to deal with the issues of others.

I know that I always had sympathy for others. But now, more so than ever. I feel the pain and I don't quite understand it. I had a friend that picked on me for trying to finally address this PTSD thing. Just like people telling you to just eat. This friend had a neighbor that had issues and hid in her house. She used to make fun of her.

So after coming here I wrote her a long email, basically telling her I will never pick on anyone who hides in their house again (and I never did, but watched her do it). I have just found out she got my message, she is now best buddies with the woman next door. I am happy for both of them.

You stated something that you have. Now, look at all my posts in here. Do you see it?
See how some of it clumps together? Do you see anger, sadness, memories, trying to explain it and some rambling? IT IS CALLED PTSD. I dont do so well when I put myself in there do I?

Open Eyes

Going back to the start of this topic:
"I have just been reading through some posts and it became apparent to me that there can be a range of responses to the same post. Trying to put a little of what my T teaches into practice about different perspectives of the same situation - I wondered whether there is value in exploring what our own responses to posts say about ourselves and where we are in our healing / recovery"

I think your T has put you on a good "food for thought" path.

From reading what others have written in here, I am concluding that we all tend to show a lot of our inner selves - including the personal pain each of us deals with and the emotions we have when others respond in a way that might be interpreted as helpful or feeling hurtful.

I think many of our responses to posts are heavily weighed against where each of us is personally on our path to recovery.

I know my emotional responses are definitely related to my place on my path...

Early on the path some responses can feel very hurtful (even if the person posting was intending to provide what they thought might be helpful advice).

Even further along the path some of the responses still might seem unkind and very contradictory to our current state of mind and progress.

Responses can be seen as a reflection of where the poster feels they are on their own path. And if we stop and think about that, we might discover that there is something to take away from every response we read.

I might go about this all wrong, and I know that, and I worry about it. I constantly worry that I alienate people with my responses, but that's a worry in my every-day life as well < socially inept

Sometimes I just come on to see what other people are up to and how they are doing, whether or not I respond.

Mostly, though, I end up reading through posts that catch my eye because I'm going through something similar, commiserating with someone, and posting like it was a support group and my turn to talk... basically just saying "Me too!", feeling inside like "Thank goodness, people who get it!" and I don't mean to hijack the thread from the original poster with my walls of text, but I feel guilty like I do that sometimes because I tend to be verbose, and I don't know how to express myself otherwise. That's what I mean about going about things wrong... it's just feels so relieving to know that other people feel like I do, and have people to talk to about things I can't talk about with anyone else because I know they wouldn't understand, that maybe I go overboard so I guess to me, my responses say "I'm selfish", whether or not that's what other people see, though it's entirely possible.

Other times I post just to support people, even if I'm not involved in their current situation, and can't offer any advice, just because I hope the person will feel better and be ok, and wish I could do something to help. Sometimes my words seem feeble and not good enough, so I don't say anything even if I wish I could.

Thanks Caretaker Leo,

In therapy people with PTSD have great difficulty looking at the past. They are often very emotional. And they don't quite understand it. But what it really is to them is that they DONT WANT TO PUT THEMSELVES IN THEIR PAST. Depending on what happened in the past the severity changes. And most victims never really were able to think of themselves. Most vicitims could only think about how others acted and what that meant. Often PTSD victims repeat themselves. They struggle with putting themselves in the situations presented in their past. Most PTSD victims never truely learned a sense of real self, they were always trying to run, hide, or somehow survive. Most PTSD victims never really coped, they only thought they did. Most PTSD victims don't really believe they will experience real pleasure and safety. Most PTSD victims have guilt that they didn't do better or are not worthy somehow. They are often very compassionate caring people because they understand pain. And they are almost always misunderstood.

Often PTSD victims worry too much about what other people do or think, and that is often because they had to worry about what others would do to them.

It is much easier for a PTSD victim to have strength for others and not for themselves as when they were victims they were over powered by lack of knowledge or strength.

I see it in my posts and I do try to put me in them. I have done good things in my past but I also see my failings.

You did fine Visioneer, all we can do is try. And thankfully PC helps us do just that.

Open Eyes

Visioneer, your insight helped me see my posting in a different light. Thank you.

I want to thank you SoupDragon for posting this thread. I really appologize if I seemed to drag it around too much.

I see where I tried to stick myself in the thread and how I was really triggered.
And I wasn't really expecting that, at least not here at PC. And then came the wall of words, which is also very telling about me and what I have and what it means not only to me but others. And your question about what my responses to posts means about me really exposed a lot to me. And to be honest, I came to PC looking for that to happen. And I think everyone looks for that when they post or even when they read posts as some have mentioned that here too. And perhaps it is how we learn more about what our so called label means.

And I liked how you and others express it as a kind of way to measure how far along one might be in some kind of dealing or healing or recognizing, or even understanding that label and the psychological impact it may have on them.
My Label is PTSD and I would have to say that I am still in the stage of trying to understand just what that label means and how it effects me and even others.
And I tried to make an effort to explain what I have come to understand about it thus far in my last post that may have seemed to be a confusing post to place in this topic. It may have even seemed off topic. And yet in the mind of someone who struggles with perhaps an extreme case of it, that is what all my posts convey.
For some reason, when I really try to actually put me in the mix other than the way I have managed to in my past, I run the risk of either being misunderstood, thinking it is all about me, or I am pointing at someone else or I somehow become a target. And that is why I never started a saga thread about me, I have only made one attempt.
And anything personal I have put out has been extremely difficult to put out. And I often do it to show someone else they are not alone and how to try to look at it.

Every time I try to help someone else, I really try hard to say it to myself too.
And that is the best I can do at the moment.

I think the most significant thing that has happened with my experience in this thread, is, that somehow others saw it. Somehow they understood it, somehow I did something right in my efforts to explain it. I havent had much luck with that with my family members or friends.
And that was therapy for me as I really struggle.

Open Eyes

Hi Openeyes - thank-you for all your contributions to this thread. I absolutely respect your bravery about talking so personally about your life and where you are at - I know such honesty and openness helps me personally in my journey.

This thread has also taught me alot about myself. I wrote it after reading some negative posts on another thread - and somehow it clicked in my head that other peoples experiences can trigger right hear and now feelings for us and that although these resulting feelings can make us feel sad / angry / frustrated, we can still learn from them and if we can reflect, they can help us move along the path.

I had some interesting stuff going on for me after posting this thread. Firstly I cannot actually remember writing that initial thread, although accept that I did (those memory gaps always freak me out a bit). Then I started to feel really guilty and responsible for some of the difficulties it seemed to trigger in people - I wanted to run away and hide, I wanted to turn the clock back and wish I had never posted it - actually I was quite anxious that I had been instrumental in people being hurt - I cursed and damned myself.

However I have stepped back and think I can see a pattern in my life of similar feelings of being responsible for others - I can't quite make complete sense of it yet, but I shall carry on mulling it over.

I do think this is a great site, such a balance of threads where we can explore our stuff, look for support, or have useful distractions in some of the great games - I have also found things to laugh at on here and that is refreshing for me, as I can't remember the last time I had some fun.

Thank-you again for your openness - SD

Just wondered if this was a useful thread?

I tend to analyze or offer prompts for thinking. I'm really not interested in others emotionally, but I've known that for a long time. There's no recovering to be done from that, but the fact that I'm no longer depressed and have only minor struggles with my self-esteem show in my willingness to speak my mind.

I don't worry about whether or not I come across as blunt, because in life someone can either accept that they'll inevitably step on a few toes here and there or choose the path of forgoing authenticity, truth, and integrity in the name of harmony. They can take the easy, conflict-free path and try to make themselves as small and inoffensive as possible at all times, or they can stand up and speak when they believe something needs to be said. They can choose their company based on who's naturally suited to them or can see beyond first impressions, or they can pander to those who simply don't like their natural personality and style of speaking.

Short of mocking someone's religion or loss, the feelings and insecurities of other adults aren't my responsibility. Human beings are entitled to disagree, not get along, and make mistakes, with the natural results of those things being displeasure and dislike.

Short of making me a terrible, unlovable person without anyone in my life, it's actually won me new friendships and helped to breathe life back into the old ones that were atrophying because I censored myself in the name of being a warmer, more sensitive person. I'm among better company and have a more honest, productive relationship with those around me.

I know I edit/delete stuff fairly often or take for ever on the initial post to try and make sure I word things correctly...sometimes people still get the wrong idea, in which case I try and explain what I meant more clearly. I certainly prefer to agree to disagree than get in an argument about it...though I do like the occasional debate but actual debate not the flame wars, arguments and personal attacks some people mistake for debate.

But yes when I post I do try to take other peoples feelings and opinions into consideration, there are some things I'd post other places that I wouldn't post here as it would not be appropriate for a mental health support forum.

Wow, I saw this thread and didn't remember posting. Then I realized that this thread took place almost 3 years ago. Geez Soup, you must have been digging through history in the forum because this thread really goes back. I commend you for remembering you started this thread.

I will have to take time and read my old posts and think about where I was then verses where I am now when I have more time.

Hmm ... that I am profoundly displaced, unhappy, depressed, yet empathetic.