Here we go again

IMO I would think the DIL knows how she is talked about in the family, and maybe needs to set this limit for her own health? It is her baby, right? I'm sorry for the whole situation, it's stressful to begin with. TC

Sept

I'm sorry she's hurting you like this. I just am trying to put myself in the DIL's shoes and after almost dying and knowing that my baby had almost died, I'd probably be feeling pretty selfish myself. I didn't forget that you had mentioned that about your son and husband, but maybe those two visits stressed her out... there is so much more that could be going on with her, plus being hormonal, scared, having averted what could have been a huge trauma.

I'm really sorry you're hurting so bad. It would be nice if she'd give you a chance to see your grandson. Hopefully when the baby goes home things will work out in a way opposite of what you're dreading.

tc, Sept.

Sky, you don't know how she's spoken of WITHIN THE FAMILY!!

SHE DIDN'T ALMOST DIE!!! Where did you hear that at?? The baby DIDN'T ALMOST DIE!! He was just born premature. He wouldn't be out of NICU if he had almost died!

I've never been anything but nice to the ******! It's HERE, where I've felt free to speak my mind and let off a whole lot of steam that I haven't HAD TO BE NICE!!

GAWD!!! What is it, MAKE ASSUMPTIONS DAY???? How supportive!!

ANYONE ELSE WANT TO ADD SALT TO THE WOUND?? LET'S HAVE IT!!

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I won't be able to see him then either because her daughter, Autumn, who used to be the light of my life doesn't want to see me either because she's got it in her head that I told her "I hate you and I don't ever want you to come to my house ever again." I ask you! Does that sound like something a 62 yr old grandmother who is totally in love with her granddaughter would say?

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September... I'm sorry... I was trying to help but, again, I have made it worse with you. I'll back out now. Good luck with everything.

In my previous reply to this post, I inadvertantly hurt Tomi's feelings. Her DIL is most manipulative and actually faked being ill. She also created chaos in the family when there was no need or value in it. I apologize for my patent reply. I should have thought more about it.

Tomi, I am truly sorry for all your pain and how your DIL is creating pain and frustration for a good woman and friend who does not deserve it.

Jan

I believe you just called her a name, and also claimed she is manipulative, and you are family.

Septembermorn, as I said I'm sorry this situation happened, and I know it's stressful. Please accept support that might not coddle you... remember, posts on this site in which you previously agreed that not all support tells us what we want to hear.

The whole site feels your pain, imo.

IMO everyone here has tried to be supportive, granted your DIL (in your opinion ) is a she-devil, Tomi remember body language also tells ppl if they are liked or not she could be picking up on that and keeping you at a distance, time will tell
Also why can't you go to hospital without her?

They won't let ANYONE in to see the baby without a parent. Now that she's out of the hospital, John takes her and they're both there... not that it matters.

Jan, the thing is, you know the whole story... starting with Autumn's lie and the fact that Christina has refused to call her on it but is using it to cause chaos between all of us. Then she used being pregnant for not allowing anything to be resolved, now she's using the baby... and when the baby goes home I STILL won't be able to see him OR Autumn because of her MANIPULATIONS! It would have been nice if you had said that you knew the story at least.

...and why doesn't it matter now?

Try something different ...If you are doing the same things and have the same results they say thats the definition of insanity..YOURE NOT INSANE I AM NOT SAYING THAT...but by looking and reacting in a different way MAYBE you will get better results We are all trying to view this from all sides and yes I think she and your son know how you feel and BOTH resent it.

Sept, know matter how you vent we still care about you, just take it easy on us, we didn't cause your grief

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tomi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You don't deserve this treatment . I'm so sorry and i understand.

A very simple view of this..say you are 100% correct..then she just doesn't like you and holds all the cards

Say you are 100% wrong then you are being abusive

BUT what if there is truth and a reason for what you both have said and done...THEN there is a fix somewhere to be found....

I agree with Sky above all are being supportive of you it doesnt mean they/we all agree.....I am sure we wish you could find your way OUT of this to some peace..best of luck

Angie, I posted because I needed empathy and SUPPORT. What I got was buckets of salt in the wound. Not meaning you, of course.

The way I see it is, I either allow myself to be manipulated and kiss ***... or I close myself off from the games, which in turn rips my husband and I apart because HE IS willing to kiss ***. Not me!

tomi.....sorry that i didn't respond sooner.....just saw this......i do know tha whole story and i do understand your hurt and pain and even your anger for not getting the support you so desperately need right now.......it has been devastang to you not to have autumn in your life and because of a lie.....now thae thought of not seeing aiden?......pain only a grandma can know....i'm here

Tomi...I know the whole story and if I remember - wasn't there a time that C's family was reading and posting on here too? No matter how much she is hurting you right now...calling her an incubus and *itch is not helping anything. She may be reading this again and could be hurt by what you are saying.

You know how much I care for you but sometimes (and this is a time) that "I" think you are being too harsh and not giving an inch here. There is a new baby involved...please try to remember that. Whatever you think of C...she is his mother....that will never change. When you think about it...they have been married 7 years...that is a long time. John is a grown man and he made his own decisions including staying with her as well as having children with her too.

Sometimes it just helps to swallow one's pride and move forward.

This is nothing personal towards you ok? I am just catching up on posts here and was feeling your pain in reading this.

Julia, thanks for understanding! I knew my FRIENDS would.

Love you, Gal!

Septy, wow, sounds like yer last nerve snapped. Too much stress for one ol' gal to squeeze in and keep the ol' smile in place, huh? Just HAD it, huh? At moments like this, angry, frustrated, fried, it's like I'm all exhaled out. Need to drop it all for a moment, just drop it--BAM--and suck some fresh air in, gasp some fresh air in, start breathing again. Just me and the fresh air for this moment in time. Eyes shut. Me and the fresh air. Finding a rhythm that suits me. Finding that as the fresh air starts to loosen me up, I can breath more deeply. taste the air, feel richness of fresh air entering, passing nose hairs, flowing, cool: up my nose into the front of my forehead,
filling my chest, filling my belly, energy flowing down to my toes and on back into the earth. Rediscovering how good breathing is, how interesting breathing is, how helpful breathing is.
So, Septy, my input is, keep breathing kiddo, you can get through this too, little bunny bumpies for you ))))Septy((((.

Oh ((((((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))))))))) so frustrating and heartbreaking for you. I'm sorry. Is there any way that you can talk to John? Is there anyone whom you can talk to that the parents will listen to? for you.

(((((((((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))))))))