whole lot of "stuff" going on

I'm sorry you had a bad week!!!

Hi lizard, nope, ain't whinging in my book ~ wanna lesson in that ~ can do!!!!! Whats the difference between ''taking care of you'' or ''isolating'' (for me it's hiding). Psych Dr would like the word isolating so it's a ''problem'', ain't no problem. Personally I NEED to hide, need to wallow and hopefully recover. I'm sad about your dear friend of course, but I'm very sad about your loss of Mum. Only get one real Mum and I don't think we ever ''get over it'', dunno, after some years we might get to live with it, I mean, what choice do we have? Yes, try drawing, why not. It's worth trying anything really (say's she who's resistant to trying)!! You go girl, whatever works for you hunny. BIG FAT GROSS HUGE BEAR HUGS!!!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for the support folks. Today has been a struggle.Gawdalmighty I miss Mom. We are told that it gets easier as time passes. Ain't happenin'.

I woke up to dog poop all over the house. My aging Lab has lost control of his bowels. I won't go into details and gross anyone out. Suffice to say I spent half an hour cleaning before I left for work. I wasn't sure he would still be with us when I got home tonight he was in such bad shape this morning. He's still here, but is continuing to fade.

While at work I got a call from a mutual friend of the friend with cancer. The doctors are saying she has hours or days to live. I feel surrounded by the dead and dying.

Tried drawing last night. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to scan the pictures and post them here. I felt a little release when I finished the drawing last night. Going to try again tonight.

Am still feeling flattened, but maybe that's not a bad thing. It beats hurting.

Waggiedog, you make a good point about the difference between taking care of myself and isolating. I worry when I start to withdraw from the world because I'm afraid of slipping into depression.

So sorry, dear one. You certainly are dealing with a lot. Easier said than done, but please try to plan some enjoyable things in your life right now. Okay?

Lizard lady, just wanted to let know how sorry I am you are under so much stress. I can really empathize with about anniversaries of our loved ones. Furry ones included. I lost my mom 4 years ago this month and my dad 2 years ago next month. I miss them so much. I lost more beloved fur babies than I can count anymore, so my heart goes out to you.

Going through all the grief and plus the change at work, I'm not surprised you are suffering from stress and reacting the way you are. I hope getting it out helps a little, but I hope you can find sometime to rest your body and take of yourself. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi Lizard ~ isolating ~ looking after yourself, these are just words so it doesn't matter how you term it. What does matter is what works or help YOU. I isolate according to the Psych, to be I ''look after'', end of, it's my choice. HUGS n MORE HUGS. XXXXX

I'm still emotionally flat. I think I'm just worn out.

My friend who has been struggling with cancer died last weekend. While it is a sad thing for those of us who will miss her, it is best for her. She was in horrible pain toward the end of her life. I'm glad for her that she is no longer suffering.

There's other "stuff" I was going to post about, but I'm too danged tired. I'm off to watch some nice mindless TV, then crawl into bed.

(((((Llz))))).

Grief is hard even when you are glad they are no longer suffering. Please do take care. Personally I like long hot baths with aromatic salts and candles.....and a good escapism book.

To reduce stress, talk to your friends and family. They will be there to support you.

Jonagelle, one of the problems is that I no longer have any family. They are all dead, which is one of my sources of stress.

I do talk to my friends.

This thread seems to be turning into something like a journal or a blog....

I had a dream last night that's left me all churned up emotionally. I've been having dreams that Mom was still alive. I don't consider those unusual. It's happened before when someone's died. I believe it's part of the healing process. The dream this morning was different. In the dream I was doing something with Mom, I don't remember what and it's not important. Then we agreed to meet at her house. I went to the house and was waiting for her to show up. As I was poking around the house I realized she was really dead and that everything else involving doing thing with her was some sort of delusion.

I'm still churned up by it emotionally. I'm still trying to figure out what it means to me. Please don't try to interpret the dream for me. This is something I need to sort out for myself. I'm not sure what it means to me, but it feels important.

love to ya, Liz. wishing you peace and strength, and all dealing with hurtful "stuff"! It's tuff, Iknow! Blessings, Anneo

Just to say I'm still following you Lizard and seeing your progress, even in this time of sadness. Lovely to find you have so many folk who care about you here. Hope you find a way to heal and deal, that's all. HUGS. XXXXX

Thanks Waggiedog! It is wonderful to see so many people here care. I'll come here and re-read this thread when I'm having a bad day. It helps me.

I guess I'm getting better because I can see the humor in things again....

That's a great idea, Liz! The best!

I have dreams about dead people all the time. My sister died in 1987, i still dream about her but when i do i tell her to go back to her grave, because she's dead. Maybe i shouldn't think of her as dead, i don't really know, but i wish she would stop bothering me, so all i can do is pray for her soul.

It's been a truly horrid week. Came here to post about it but I'm too worn out and worn down to write the post tonight....

sorry Liz, hope it gets better soon for you. Saw your note on my page, know you've been having a tuff time!!! Take care!

Hi ''lizard'', sorry, so sorry life is being a tuff ****** at the moment. Is it ever easy I ask? Come back when you have a little more energy, we'll still be here! HUGS. XXXXX

Gonna see if I can get this out tonight...

After a little time thinking things were settled down it's all in an uproar again.

I mentioned that both the new supervisor and program director have no experience in our program. The supervisor has plenty of clinical experience, but she has no experience with the kind of clients we see. Tuesday I was trying to talk to her about one particularly difficult case I have. She kept telling me we needed to "get rid" of the case. I kept trying to explain that we can't "get rid" of these cases. It came to a head when she said, in a tone of voice that a parent would use to a child "I am not going to argue about this." She told me that she was going to discuss the case with the director the next day then we could discuss it. Next day she was all friendly, like she hadn't snapped my head off the day before, and said her boss said we were to proceed with the case. We butted heads the previous week about something else she didn't understand about the program. I'm so frustrated that she and the director don't understand what we do and apparently don't want to learn about it.

I drove home Tuesday night listening to Miranda Lambert at volumes to make my ears bleed. It helped calm me down a bit. I also spent some time on the phone with a friend ranting it out. I finally came up with a solution that I hope will help my peace of mind. We'll see if it works.

Added to the work stuff I've had a "heck" of a week with my fibro. Cold fronts railroaded through the state this week triggering flares. I came home from work yesterday and curled up in a ball on the sofa. This gets so old....

I thought the grief stuff had settled down. It's started up again. Edjit that I can be I realized last night that tomorrow would be Mom's birthday. How can anyone supposedly so smart be so dam stupid about this stuff?

Then there's the whole upcoming holiday season....

Thank gawd it's the weekend. I need some downtime.

Aw jeeze work has become the blind leading the blind. I was worried about two new bosses who don't know what we do. The manure hit the turbine this week over something that could have been avoided if they'd listened to me in the first place!!!! Now I have to take time I don't have to help them straighten out the problem tomorrow. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

sorry it's so rough right now. Was the weekend at all helpful? ((hugs)) sending you strength to help get through the day tomorrow. Hope this weekend affords you some time to rest also.

((((liz)))) So sorry for the work problems on top of everything else.

Ah Liz, I'm so sorry to hear about this stuff, you gotta wonder at the wisdom of those who hired those two with no understanding of their new job.

How To Work For An Idiot - Forbes
Idiot bosses exist only to stomp the life out of their intellectually superior and more innovative subordinates.